Gays Still Not allowed in Military

DISCLAIMER: I am not homophobic nor have I ever been. Anyone who wants to know the names of gay friends I have, message me. I am not meaning to offend anyone of any race, ethnicity, creed, gender, home country, eye color, blood type, or sexual orientation. These thoughts are my thoughts and I have expressed them hoping, somewhat naively, that they will be tolerated. I also apologize beforehand if what I say in any way, shape, or form offends anyone in any way. I don't mean for this to happen. Thus the disclaimer.

My whole family is military and my dad and I have been following this story for a while, then I stopped caring about it lately. "Don't ask, don't tell" isn't the harsh line LAW that people think it is. Yes, I think gay rights are important, but in trench warfare and the like...

My dad was a Master Sergeant First Class and was in charge of a large group of men. One particular serviceman came out quite publicly and dared the men around to "do something about it". No one reacted or really cared, but there were a few men who were uncomfortable taking showers with this guy. These guys previously had no qualms about the guy whatsoever, but when he opened that door on his sexuality, it really alienated the men he had to work with. DADT was put in place to make homosexuals more safe and to not be hassled for their lifestyle, but they just have to keep it quiet and make sure it doesn't affect morale or teams. And a lot of people are homophobic and it's better that they don't know the sexual orientation of the men they work with. You gotta live everyday being able to put your life on the line and risk your own life to help your men out, and that split second "But he's gay" thought can hurt more than anyone can imagine. less

The issue with the DADT policy isn't about a bunch of men being scared to be naked around each other. It's just like the gay marriage issue. Things like being able to bring your partner to see you off, like every other family in your unit, when you're being deployed. If they do bring them, they can't kiss them goodbye, hold their hand, or be too affectionate because of DADT. They can't receive the same benefits as other married couples in the military (Insurance, housing, getting extra pay because their spouse is deployed). Their partners can't run through the crowd at the welcome home ceremony and jump into their arms, no matter how excited they are to see them.

Because they aren't legally allowed to marry and homosexuals aren't allowed in the military, their partners won't be notified if something happens to them. They won't be listed as next of kin. As horrible of a thing as it is, a uniformed officer won't show up at their door to tell them their partner was killed in the line of duty. They won't receive the flag that covered their casket before they put it in the ground.

I think the squeamishness of a few homophobic men should be put aside so that these soldiers, who are fighting for our country just as hard as the heterosexual soldiers are, don't have to hide who they are. less

Thank you!!! That is EXACTLY the issue!

I myself was previously a partner to a closeted soldier in the military. I could not be contacted if my partner died, I would not receive the body, I would not be given the right to decide burial arrangements, I would not receive any support or aid from the FRG (family readiness group), military, or government should injury or death occur, I point blank wasn't allowed to many things, I was not allowed to seek help during deployment, I couldn't email my partner at work, and if something instead had happened to me during deployment, my partner would not have been allowed to come home to see me in the hospital OR to put me in the ground and could very well get kicked out for simply talking about it to the chaplain.

I'm sorry but whatever the excuses are to keep them silent aren't good enough. If the U.S. is ok with having these hard-working, sacrificing women and men die for their country, the least they can do is be thankful for their service, no matter who they love.

And sexysweetieshan, I have/had 8 people in my family or immediate circle of loved ones in the military and none were ever tested every 6 months for HIV/AIDS. The younger ranks are generally "randomly" tested for drugs about that often but they are directly told what the test is meant to screen for. If your husband's unit is testing for that with that frequency, it's just them doing it and isn't military-wide.

And the "homosexuals" are already in the military. They're already serving and have been every since the military existed and are serving openly in other countries. No huge epidemic of AIDS has broken out in the military community in those countries and it won't magically start to here if they're allowed to be honest about who they are when/if the repeal happens. I do very, very much understand about being 50/50 on the situation though. Most of my family in the military have a hard time with the topic because they're so close to many people who feel strongly at either extreme end. less

Thank you!!! That is EXACTLY the issue!

I myself was previously a partner to a closeted soldier in the military. I could not be contacted if my partner died, I would not receive the body, I would not be given the right to decide burial arrangements, I would not receive any support or aid from the FRG (family readiness group), military, or government should injury or death occur, I point blank wasn't allowed to many things, I was not allowed to seek help during deployment, I couldn't email my partner at work, and if something instead had happened to me during deployment, my partner would not have been allowed to come home to see me in the hospital OR to put me in the ground and could very well get kicked out for simply talking about it to the chaplain.

I'm sorry but whatever the excuses are to keep them silent aren't good enough. If the U.S. is ok with having these hard-working, sacrificing women and men die for their country, the least they can do is be thankful for their service, no matter who they love.

And sexysweetieshan, I have/had 8 people in my family or immediate circle of loved ones in the military and none were ever tested every 6 months for HIV/AIDS. The younger ranks are generally "randomly" tested for drugs about that often but they are directly told what the test is meant to screen for. If your husband's unit is testing for that with that frequency, it's just them doing it and isn't military-wide.

And the "homosexuals" are already in the military. They're already serving and have been every since the military existed and are serving openly in other countries. No huge epidemic of AIDS has broken out in the military community in those countries and it won't magically start to here if they're allowed to be honest about who they are when/if the repeal happens. I do very, very much understand about being 50/50 on the situation though. Most of my family in the military have a hard time with the topic because they're so close to many people who feel strongly at either extreme end. less

DISCLAIMER: I am not homophobic nor have I ever been. Anyone who wants to know the names of gay friends I have, message me. I am not meaning to offend anyone of any race, ethnicity, creed, gender, home country, eye color, blood type, or sexual orientation. These thoughts are my thoughts and I have expressed them hoping, somewhat naively, that they will be tolerated. I also apologize beforehand if what I say in any way, shape, or form offends anyone in any way. I don't mean for this to happen. Thus the disclaimer.

My whole family is military and my dad and I have been following this story for a while, then I stopped caring about it lately. "Don't ask, don't tell" isn't the harsh line LAW that people think it is. Yes, I think gay rights are important, but in trench warfare and the like...

My dad was a Master Sergeant First Class and was in charge of a large group of men. One particular serviceman came out quite publicly and dared the men around to "do something about it". No one reacted or really cared, but there were a few men who were uncomfortable taking showers with this guy. These guys previously had no qualms about the guy whatsoever, but when he opened that door on his sexuality, it really alienated the men he had to work with. DADT was put in place to make homosexuals more safe and to not be hassled for their lifestyle, but they just have to keep it quiet and make sure it doesn't affect morale or teams. And a lot of people are homophobic and it's better that they don't know the sexual orientation of the men they work with. You gotta live everyday being able to put your life on the line and risk your own life to help your men out, and that split second "But he's gay" thought can hurt more than anyone can imagine. less

I have been there, ive saw that issue many times. Its a big arguemnt. Personally I dont have a problems with gays or nor do I judge by sexual orentation. However not all see it that way.


Because not everyone sees it that way I think that its in the militarys best choice to not alow gay indivudals into the miltiary. I say that because you have to spend months at a time with these guys, sometimes in tents smaller then our bathrooms without running water and electricity. Not all military personal will feel comfortable with a gay member sleeping in the bunk next to them.

Alot of the military personal is agaisnt gays. It is critical to focus on the mission, and not the issue of sexuality. less

Although I get that many guys may be uncomfortable with finding out a fellow soldier is gay, I think eventually they will get over it. I don't think any person who is willing to put their life on the line and fight for our country should be kicked out and turned away just because of their sexual orientation. It's on the level of not allowing black soldiers to fight on the front lines in the civil war simply because they are black. We are all red blooded Americans, we should all have the same damn rights. less

If I had a dollar for every high-ranking gay officer or gay special ops guy (yeah the "macho" ones), I'd be rich by now. I've met some from all military professions, and they love their jobs and keep their sex lives private, as they will continue to do so. They don't mix their sex lives with people they work with. Will there be cases of unwanted homosexual advances? Probably, but there equally as many cases of unwanted heterosexual sexual harassment and there are consequences to this type of behavior. less

As a retired Army officer I believe it would create a big problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against gay rights. I believe that they should have the same rights as everyone else as far as marriage and everything else that comes with it. One of the problems is that you have a bunch of head strong very young men that are not the best in staying out of trouble. I only have experience with troops in the Infantry, Armor and Field Artillery, but a good portion of these people just won't be able to handle the element of openly gay guys working with them in their unit. Its not that the gay community doesn't bring great things to the table, and I know their are tons of patriotic people in that community, its just that it is easier to keep 10% of the population that you know might cause a problem out of the military, than it is to make that other 90% work right with them. And when it comes to young men, they are going to talk about sex, one of the reasons why some of the gay soldiers in the military probably didn't say a whole lot is out of fear, not only for their job but out of fear of possibly being persicuted for their way of life. less

As a retired Army officer I believe it would create a big problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against gay rights. I believe that they should have the same rights as everyone else as far as marriage and everything else that comes with it. One of the problems is that you have a bunch of head strong very young men that are not the best in staying out of trouble. I only have experience with troops in the Infantry, Armor and Field Artillery, but a good portion of these people just won't be able to handle the element of openly gay guys working with them in their unit. Its not that the gay community doesn't bring great things to the table, and I know their are tons of patriotic people in that community, its just that it is easier to keep 10% of the population that you know might cause a problem out of the military, than it is to make that other 90% work right with them. And when it comes to young men, they are going to talk about sex, one of the reasons why some of the gay soldiers in the military probably didn't say a whole lot is out of fear, not only for their job but out of fear of possibly being persicuted for their way of life. less