Have you ever had to dump a friend?

Have you ever had to dump a friend?

misterazor misterazor
ever grown out of a friendship? how did you end it? it can be an uncomfortable thing to do. anyone ever try and not have it take...meaning, the friend just would not take the hint? how did that go?
12/25/2012
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kdlt kdlt
Oops! I answered this in the other one kind of but here it is again, for those that are interested:

I tried to "dump" a friend (we had different morals, goals and lifestyles) so I was honest with her and said I couldn't be around her (drug use, etc). She went crazy and enlisted her brother and friends to absolutely torment me every few nights by egging my house, paintballing my mom's car, TPing my place, and eventually lighting off fireworks at our wooden porch and nearly starting a fire. I had to get a restraining order on them. :/ Yikes.
12/25/2012
kitty1949 kitty1949
Not really. Shit happens and communication just kind of ceases,
12/25/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by misterazor
ever grown out of a friendship? how did you end it? it can be an uncomfortable thing to do. anyone ever try and not have it take...meaning, the friend just would not take the hint? how did that go?
Yea, but it kind of just vanished on its own. It's not something you normally have to break off. It seems like they just slowly fade out. This has happened with most of my friendships actually.

Nice time for this poll because I made a very elderly friend by accident tonight who I'm totally sure I will actually have to dump. She was a total stranger and is begging me take me home with her. Strange ass story too. Weird stuff happens to me, but I'm pretty sure the friendship will go very wrong if I don't do something. She's even looking for me! I just met her tonight for Pete's sake! Lol. So some friendships you do have to abruptly put on a hiatus. Always find a way to do it nicely though. I'm thinking I may just find a way to get around my own situation where the person won't have hurt feelings. That can be hard. You'll have to get creative if you don't want to hurt them. First, it's important to know why you're needing to end it. Pushy people? Negative friendship that is polluting you and getting rough on your health? If something like that is going on, that is about the only time I feel that an end is necessary. Otherwise it'll fade on its own.

I am so worried to hurt others that I would lie. Yep. Let me just be honest. I would say something like "I'm so busy that I can hardly hold my head up when I do actually get some free time, so I really need a few weeks to myself so I can get my own self together and in a good state of mind again." I mean you can't just say, "hey, I really can't stand you. You make me feel like pullin' my hair out because you're so ..." Or if they are negative and only produce negative thoughts and energy and never have anything positive to say, you can tell them that because it could help them, but most people like that know they're negative and you simply have to distance yourself. I have family like this. This type of person can cut you off at the knees with just a few words. They can pollute your entire way of thinking in only one visit. It's awful and really rough on your health if you're around it a lot.

One family member in particular is like this and every time she'd come around, I'd get sick! I had stomach issues and anxiety issues from the stomach issues (lol), and when I was around a lot of negativity or extreme stress, I'd end up sick as a dog the next day. Every time. It never failed. If she was here at my home, I'd be down with the worst stomach issues the very next day or just hours after she left. She always gave me such a hard time! But I got healthier and had some healing of my health issues, and she changed a lot too, became a happier person and now we can tolerate a lot of visiting

So there are different reasons for breaking it off, and if it's anything that's causing you stress or stuff like that, it's okay to do it. I won't say I've not lied (like my example above) to avoid crushing a "friend's" little heart. Call me a liar, but I felt that was really the way to go in that situation.
12/25/2012
Living Doll Living Doll
Many times. I usually just stop responding to calls/texts/Facebook messages/whatever until they go away. Sounds cold, but these people were pretty nuts and I'm convinced that communicating with them and being honest would have been a lot worse for me.
12/25/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Yeah, I just quit talking to them or hanging out with them. I won't directly blow them off, I just won't go out of my way to hang out with them.

I've got one guy now who's following EVERYTHING I do on FB...even when I posted a status of "How to tell when someone's stalking you: They 'like' everything you say, even when they have no idea what you're talking about". They "liked" it.
12/25/2012
Septimus Septimus
Unfortunately I've had more than one friendship end on bad terms. Most of these were in those turbulent and terrible years known as "high school".
In recent years I've grown out of touch with people I was once close with, but I don't think that's quite the same thing.
12/25/2012
Pururin Pururin
One of my close friends in high school became a bit unbearable to hang around with after graduation. The older we got, the less we had in common, and I couldn't stand her lazy work ethic and some of her ideals and views.
My method it letting them down easily and slowly; not spending time with them and telling them I'm busy with work and whatnot. Slowly ceasing communication. It's tedious and takes time, but in the end there aren't any hurt feelings.
Eventually I moved and had a real excuse not to see her much.
I'm still acquaintances with her. Some time and space helped heal our bond a bit, but we could never be close friends again.

Some people though just need to be told straight out what your issues with them are. Sometimes it's better to break apart from them immediately.
12/25/2012
Voir Voir
yes definitely. I pretty much no longer associate with anyone I attended highschool with - most of them our only real commonality was the school and that we were all in band or honors classes. A few others, because they take far too much to partying and drinking etc etc

I don't have time to deal with people that would rather drink away their time than focus on their college studies - have a boyfriend, a shitty part time job to pay for their parties rather than focus on advancing their future.

I've burnt plenty of bridges but hearing about the things going on in these peoples lives - I have no regrets in walking away from them. Others I just can't comprehend what they are doing in life - nothing bad, it just seems so drastically different from my own I can't relate to it.

People come and go very few are permanent fixtures in life. My dad, brother, long-distance friend / writing partner and my art-muse buddy are essentially my only constants.
12/25/2012
talon4196 talon4196
Not really.
12/25/2012
hem hem
Yeah, I broke it off with my friend/partner at the time. We're still good friends though!
12/25/2012
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 11