He's gone. - Created by SMichelle on Oct 14, 2012: EdenFantasys Forum

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by wetone123

Well, I don't know what part of the UK you are going to...but if they are not refundable I would not use the tickets to track him down. I would find some attractions in the area and make a vacation out of it. Perhaps you may even find someone ... more

I really hope so. I'm just such a wreck right now, I can't imagine boarding that plane and not bursting into tears. I keep waiting for an e-mail with an explanation, but I know it's not likely. It just hurts more than I can ever explain.

Reply

10/16/2012

XxFallenAngelxX

OMG, so sorry....

Reply

10/16/2012

pixylove101

Maybe he wasn't truthful. Maybe he wasn't who you think he is/was!

Reply

10/17/2012

SMichelle

I sent this in an email to someone, but it really does the best job of explaining what today has been...

"This is just such a mind-fuck. I woke up this morning to find over 40 messages from him, all begging me to get online and talk to him.

He explained that he was being stalked and harassed by someone from his past. I know that a girl he dated years ago was stalking him awhile back -- I spoke to her on the phone, and she confirmed that yes, she was the ex, and that she still loved him...kept asking me why he was avoiding her!

So... On one hand, I do believe that it's possible that he was being stalked and harassed. He also says his accounts were hacked into -- and if he's being stalked, that's always possible, too.

It's the waiting 5 days that gets me.

Of course every man that I talk to is saying, "5 days? No big deal! It's not even a week." But to me, it's 1 day? Way too long to leave me hanging like this.

Not sure what is going on now... just kind of trying to make sense of everything. "

Reply

10/18/2012

Supervixen

Quote:

Originally posted by SMichelle

I sent this in an email to someone, but it really does the best job of explaining what today has been...

"This is just such a mind-fuck. I woke up this morning to find over 40 messages from him, all begging me to get online and talk to ... more

Wow...well, now you know what's going on. Crazy exes are fun, aren't they?

The five days would really bother me, too. But I feel like guys live in a different world when it comes to time, and I envy them. I can't help but worry when someone disappears without a word for a day, or they don't show up or call like they said they would. I like knowing what's going on! Guys typically seem so much more patient and less worried about that kind of thing. So I would give him the benefit of the doubt. It's also possible that he was keeping his distance from you for a few days so she wouldn't try to get to you, to get to him. Have a discussion with him in any case, and tell him, look, five days of complete disappearance is not okay with you. You were worried and going through all kinds of scenarios about what happened. But perhaps, if the story check out, you should give him a chance to make it up to you.

Reply

10/18/2012

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by Supervixen

Wow...well, now you know what's going on. Crazy exes are fun, aren't they?

The five days would really bother me, too. But I feel like guys live in a different world when it comes to time, and I envy them. I can't help but worry ... more

Oh, I'm definitely willing to be understanding and hear him out here. I know she was out of her mind, having spoken to her at great length before. I can kind of understand him taking his distance, if all of this does check out.

I can understand it now. If it had happened to me, I would've probably deleted all my online stuff, too, I just would've sent a message or two explaining first. But, that may be the difference between men and women (or some men, and some women.) Woman thinks -- "I'll explain before I do this," men thinks, "I'll just explain this later"

Reply

10/18/2012

Rosen Rot

Quote:

Originally posted by js250

Is this the same guy that barely spent any time with you when you went to visit him earlier this year? The one whose 'mom was in the hospital' and he had children's drawings in the apartment the one time you were able to spend time with ... more

Second that!
Change the locks on the doors too, people are capable of such bad bad bad things...

Reply

10/19/2012

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by Rosen Rot

Second that!
Change the locks on the doors too, people are capable of such bad bad bad things...

See the update I posted --

"This is just such a mind-fuck. I woke up this morning to find over 40 messages from him, all begging me to get online and talk to him.

He explained that he was being stalked and harassed by someone from his past. I know that a girl he dated years ago was stalking him awhile back -- I spoke to her on the phone, and she confirmed that yes, she was the ex, and that she still loved him...kept asking me why he was avoiding her!

So... On one hand, I do believe that it's possible that he was being stalked and harassed. He also says his accounts were hacked into -- and if he's being stalked, that's always possible, too.

It's the waiting 5 days that gets me.

Of course every man that I talk to is saying, "5 days? No big deal! It's not even a week." But to me, it's 1 day? Way too long to leave me hanging like this.

Not sure what is going on now... just kind of trying to make sense of everything. "

Reply

10/19/2012

Dixiemomma

wow hun i'm sooooo sorry i hope he's being honest with you now, i'd be freaking out too ... i just bought tickets to visit my long distance bf and his family for thanksgiving, idk what i would do if he disappeared on me ...

Reply

10/19/2012

AHubbyof2SexualMinds

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. Since the ex is crazy he may have thought he was doing the best thing. Not sending you a message beforehand is really bad, but I've seen other men do those types of things in the past.

Maybe I'm a different type of guy, but 5 days is a long time to wait to contact. Most guys probably wouldn't think it's too long, but it's still long for me. I hope everything works out for you, I can't even imagine how much stress/pain/grief you've had this past week.

Reply

10/19/2012

PropertyOfPotter

How are you feeling about this now???

Reply

10/19/2012

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by AHubbyof2SexualMinds

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. Since the ex is crazy he may have thought he was doing the best thing. Not sending you a message beforehand is really bad, but I've seen other men do those types of things in the past. ... more

Yeah, to me, 5 days is like forever, especially when he kinda disconnected everything. Talk about making me panic!

But, I've run the situation by at least 10 guys that I know, and I seem to be getting these reactions --

"He probably just wanted space. Not a big deal."
"Um, it was only 5 days. What's wrong with that?"
"He should've let you know before he did it, but it was still only 5 days..."
"Okay, I understand you're a little frustrated, but it was less than a week..."

That's another thing.. "frustrated". LOL That's what he thought I was too, just frustrated. I explained to him, no, not just frustrated, he made me feel abandoned and more depressed than I had been in my life. He was very receptive to it, listened well, and we had a very long talk regarding everything that had happened.

It seems that men and women view things very differently.

Though -- it was quite funny when he had to wait a day for me to get back to him (hey, I was busy and mad!), he sent me over a hundred messages begging me to get in touch. He didn't like feeling quite so "frustrated" even for a day. Maybe a little taste of his own medicine -- as I usually respond to all his emails and texts within minutes.

Reply

10/20/2012

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter

How are you feeling about this now???

I'm still a little torn.

It did, however, tell me that I need to slow things down before jumping into visas and moving countries, which I guess is a good thing.

Before, I would've done it without a doubt. But, when I felt like he was truly gone... after a few days, I started thinking, "well, I won't need to find a new home for my sugar gliders now... and I won't have to deal with rainy UK weather... and I won't have to worry so much about saving for a big move, so I can go on a shopping spree!" -- don't get me wrong, I still missed him like crazy and cried all the time while I was thinking that, but it taught me that maybe I am not quite ready to give up all I know to move to the UK. Still something I'd consider in time, but it's nothing I'd jump into like I would before.

Reply

10/20/2012

LoooveMonkey

Sugar gliders!! Oh my gosh, I want to see a picture. lol

I understand what you mean about slowing down. I had to learn the same lesson. How have you guys been?

Reply

10/20/2012

Trysexual

Just read this now...sounds fucked to me. Sure he isn't married or something? Surely he would have called to explain something to you and not leave you hanging for 5 days (even from a payphone or something so you didn't worry)...or create another email address to let you know what was going on. Not a considerate thing to do.

I once dated someone...it was an unusual situation, but she up and moved to the west coast without notice and wouldn't reply to emails or phone calls until I made some sort of plead and offhanded threat. I was not happy. That is no way to treat someone you love or sleep with.

Good luck to you. MY GF is from the UK too, but she lives here thankfully. I know she would never pull something like that.

Reply

10/20/2012

SMichelle

Quote:

Originally posted by Trysexual

Just read this now...sounds fucked to me. Sure he isn't married or something? Surely he would have called to explain something to you and not leave you hanging for 5 days (even from a payphone or something so you didn't worry)...or create ... more

Yes, sure he's not married. I've stayed with him and even spoke to a few of his friend since his little vanishing act.

Reply

10/20/2012

roskat

This still sounds sketchy but it's good that you got some answers. I don't know, I'd probably cool things off for while. And take anything he says with a grain of salt...

Reply

10/21/2012

girlparts

If someone cut me off like that, I wouldn't want to be with them anyway...

Reply

10/22/2012

Ansley

Interesting turn of events...

Here are two stories for you:

1) A girl falls madly, head over heels in love with a guy on the internet. Gets close and feels like they know each other body and soul and has real, intense feelings for him.

One day she gets an email saying he's been in a tragic accident and didn't make it. Cue hysteria and feeling like her world had been flipped upside down, inside out, and shredded to pieces.

A little investigation reveals it was someone who had actually lost their goddamned mind and felt it necessary to mess with this poor girl. No guy, no tragic accident, just a bored female online with nothing better to do than fuck up someone else's life.

2) Girl meets girl in real life. Spends two years getting to know her, falling for her, only to discover that everything Girl 2 said to Girl 1 was a complete lie and Girl 2 was given the reason "but I wanted to impress you" by Girl 1. As if this was going to make up for all of the bold-face lies she told in the process.

The first, I watched unfold online and I was not involved but if I were to go back to that community, I guarantee they'd still be talking about it in some way.

The second, actually happened to me and it has caused me to think long and hard about what people are really capable of in life. In either event, both scenarios were the workings of sociopathic minds and if you're being given red flags now, I'd hate to see the flags you'd get once you got over there and started setting things up - people don't stalk people for no reason. And while the woman in question may be completely nuts, it doesn't mean the things she's saying happened didn't happen.

I'd still tread very, very carefully if I were you.

Reply

10/22/2012

sexfairy

Quote:

Originally posted by SMichelle

I'm still a little torn.

It did, however, tell me that I need to slow things down before jumping into visas and moving countries, which I guess is a good thing.

Before, I would've done it without a doubt. But, when I felt like ... more

I think this is a wise way to look at it. Nothing happens for no reason and the lesson you took from your experience will certainly help you in the future, being with that person or not. Take care of yourself.

Reply

10/22/2012