Both. I take time and go for a walk or to a special place I can be alone to think and sort through the feelings. Then go distract myself with busy work and try to work through everything a small bit at a time....less overwhelming that way. I also write a letter to the friend of mine who died.

I'd say I'm on the list of deniers - I've lost both parents, many other relatives and a close friend who was just 49 when he passed. I just try to move on as quickly as possible. With some space and time I'm able to reflect on my relationship with them in a more positive way.

From what I read - this is not the ideal way to cope, but it's works OK for me.

distraction, defo, and then at some point it really hits but when it does, thats when things start to heal in a way, time doesnt heal it totally but it really does make things that bit better and then you can start looking back and think of the good things, better things, not focus on that bad bit.

suicide is a toughie, that does leave a mess for those who loved them

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've only lost one person I ever cared about and that was recently, so it's a new feeling. I think we're still in the denial phase of things to a degree but that might change when we go home this summer to visit the grave site.

Having dealt with grief both personally and as a volunteer in the wake of natural disaster, I've learned that there's not a right or wrong way to deal with grief. People do it in their own way. I will say that trying not to feel what you feel almost always comes back around to bite you later.

And, Lildrummrgurl7, while there's nothing anyone can say which will help much (if at all), I can say I've lost a friend to suicide (not my best friend) and I can empathize, if only imperfectly. It will get better with time. Try to remember the good times you two had together and to be grateful for what you did get to share.

When I lose someone close to me, I try to feel as much as I can, as soon as I can. Unfortunately, I usually go numb (except, for some reason, when I've lost a pet). When I get numb, I just try to keep busy and to kindle that attitude of gratefulness. Because, the way I see it, we don't deserve the good things OR the bad things that happen to us.