How to deal with an aggressive/rude co-worker?

How to deal with an aggressive/rude co-worker?

bayosgirl bayosgirl
First off, I work for my parents as a server in their restaurant. I've been told that this makes a difference, the fact that I'm their daughter (I hesitate to make that statement, given how they have treated me lately and even all my life, but that's another story.) I was told that I get "special privileges" which is entirely false. I do my work like everyone else, and I'm good at it too. I'm faster and more accurate than either of the other two servers-both older, lonely, and jealous women. Yes, I'm angry. The only "privilege" that I ever get is a glass of wine and maybe a salad after the work is done and I'm clocked out. And I told them point-blank that if that is the hangup, they can buy a glass of wine. I'm sick and tired of them. The one has been constantly harassing and belittling me since I started working there. She's turned the other one, who I was cool with, against me by gossiping and telling God knows what lies. She's lied at least twice, that I know of, about things I said or didn't say. I have no way to defend myself because they chortle behind my back. It's awful. I did nothing to deserve this. I do my work, and I'm a nice person. I NEVER antagonize or belittle anyone.

The other night was the last straw. Over NOTHING, and I'll spare the story but I do mean nothing, the one (the instigator) literally got IN MY FACE and told me in a very nasty tone to leave her alone. I only wish I had shoved her head away from me, but there were several tables near the kitchen, which is pretty much open, and I didn't want any of them to see a fight break out. I was also in shock so I was kind of frozen. No one has ever done that to me in my life. I told my parents but they didn't do anything. Actually my dad said he would fire her but he changed his mind by the end of the night because he's worried about upsetting his wife. By his own admission he's wanted to get rid of her for 6 months plus not only because of how she acts towards me but her attitude in general. But his wife is strangely and disgustingly attached to this person. This STRANGER is somehow more important than her own daughter. She doesn't give a damn about my feelings or my well-being. I've worked my ass off for them for 14 months and this is what I get. I guess when my dad confronted her about what happened, her response was "you don't know the full story." So I lied or withheld something?! I'm the most honest person there is-SHE's the one, along with her employee, that lies constantly. I guess that's why they're buddies.

I refuse to let her run me out of my own family's business. I have put an ad on Craigslist and I will be interviewing people tomorrow and hiring someone else ASAP. I really don't care what happens at this point. They can fire me, but I doubt they will. If they do it's their loss. The best thing to do is for one of us to go, because after everything this person has done to me if she so much as looks at me wrong, I feel like I could smack the shit out of her. And she's not worth getting arrested over. I definitely WILL get fired if I do that. So I might as well try to replace her and when she sees the new person hopefully she just leaves and never comes back. If she's such an "experienced professional" as she's always announcing, then she should be able to find a job. Problem solved.
10/18/2012
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darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
Your dad may be reluctant to get rid of her because he'd then be out an employee, which means everyone else has to pick up the work load. I think if you were to talk to him about hiring a new person and help him find someone, then get rid of her, he may be more open to that. You said his wife wanted her to continue working for them. Does she have any specific reason?

Professional employees don't act like that. To me, "professional" means doing any job you're asked to do without complaint and while getting along with your coworkers.

I have a similar issue at work. I have an aggressive coworker who is constantly starting drama and playing the victim. There's really not much you can do. If the bosses are aware and are keeping an eye on the situation, they'll take care of it. It's not worth losing your job over, either by being fired or quitting. Ignoring this person at work tends to help me. They have no impact on my life other than saying a few harsh words to/about me at work. Why let them bother me?
10/18/2012
Ansley Ansley
It costs a lot to fire and hire people. There are unemployment claims to worry about (each claim filed raises an employer's unemployment tax rate) and your parents may not be ready to deal with it. There's also the cost of training an employee, costs of their initial mistakes...so forth and so on; it can be really difficult to be the owner of a company in situations like this, especially a small family owned business.

I would pull her and your parents into a meeting and get it hashed out and if she doesn't adjust her attitude it can be suggested she start looking for a new employer.
10/18/2012
Total posts: 3
Unique posters: 3