I've been found out

I've been found out

Ex-prude Ex-prude
Edenites, I need your support here. Today I realized my boxes were missing from beside the trash can at my boyfriend's house. We're home from college for summer (we're 20) and his house is empty because his family goes to camp. I thought it was a safe place given that no one is there, but boy was I wrong. I left my packing slips in my boxes. Long story short, the guy who is a family friend and "helps" around the house (if breaking into the house without warning is "help") went into the house and took my boxes. I checked the security video and he totally took out the brown paper and read my packing slip. The packing slip says "Red leopard crotchless panty", "Icicles No. 2," and something about Mio. Then, to TOP IT OFF, he KEPT the freaking packing slip. No one knows about me and Edenfantasys or that I have a sexual side at all. It's definitely going to be spread around my boyfriend's family, proven by the fact that he kept the slip. I pretty much feel like my life has been ruined at this point and I'm going to be the laughing stock of his family.

I don't know what I'm asking for here. I guess just some support. ):
08/07/2012
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I know you are seriously embarrassed, but honestly, his parents already know or assume you are having sex. You are college age, home with him for the summer and most women have sexy and hot underwear and lingerie. His mom obviously has had sex--your boyfriend would not be here otherwise, and probably has either masturbated or played around with a toy or several.

Laugh, say a girl has to have a few secrets or Victoria would have never been in business and wait for the next family member's snafu to take its place. I promise, this will blow over and your life will not be destroyed, just a bit pink from embarrassment.

I really feel for you--but by the end of summer it will either be forgotten or you will be able to laugh about it and shrug--taking away all the reaction people look for when teasing you.
08/07/2012
neil i. neil i.
I am genuinely sorry to hear that. First off, I want to offer you my best wishes. It may be a difficult situation, but just remember that you are an adult and completely entitled to your sexuality, and most importantly, your privacy. What this guy did is deplorable. He is undeniably a thief and a creep; his actions are indefensible and you should feel no shame.

I imagine that your boyfriend will stand by you, and it's the sort of thing that his family should be understanding about.
08/07/2012
Sodom and Gomorrah Sodom and Gomorrah
Quote:
Originally posted by Ex-prude
Edenites, I need your support here. Today I realized my boxes were missing from beside the trash can at my boyfriend's house. We're home from college for summer (we're 20) and his house is empty because his family goes to camp. I thought ...
You have the video! Forget about embarrassment and call him out on his thieving self. He may even then in turn keep quiet so that nobody finds out he's a thief. It's more embarrasing for people to find out that you are a thief stealing stuff from friends house than oh she got some panties.

Also, I would casually bring it to the household conversation. Who took my order for my underwear?!
08/07/2012
Falsepast Falsepast
Quickly! The most important thing to do in this sort of situation is to PAAANNNIIIICCCC!!!!

Just kidding, you should actually do the opposite. Although I understand how you feel, just relax. I believe that since it is your property with your personal information, you should confront him, and tell him you will tell the police if he doesn't return it. Legally he has no right to take it, and it has your name clearly on it, so yeah it would kinda be hard for him to claim they're his.

Not much you can do about him telling the family, but at least he'll no longer have the packing slips as proof and you could just calmly call him a liar every time he claims he saw it. Even if that technically makes you the liar.

Good luck.
08/07/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Honestly, unless they are major religious buffs, I don't think you have anything bad to worry about. I was the same way and I made sure to hide all my things. I left a vibe in an overnight bag and for some reason my mom came into my room and got in it looking for laundry and found it! We always joke around and act stupid but never discuss personal sex lives EVER, except for the time I went on birth control. For God only knows why, she seriously said something to me about it!! I wanted to die. She asked me what that "big pink thing" in my bag was. I was SO mortified. I said my fiance got it for me and I don't like it and I don't know what to do with it so I stuck it in there. I'm pretty sure she knows whats going on now since I get packages and I'm currently seeking a job (so no income). I try to get them before she gets up but sometimes that doesn't work out. She has never asked me about what is in the box. Well she did one time and I lied and brought out bath and body stuff and said I review things for this "girly" site.

I know my fiance's mother knows. I was being stupid one day, I mean really immature and he got mad at me. Before the whole EF thing started with us, I found a purple jelly masturbator in his drawer and I was acting stupid, teasing him with it, I won't go into detail because it was so immature lol. But he got mad and grabbed it and ripped it in two and tossed it across the room. No one picked it up. When we left and came back later, it was in his sock drawer.....yeah, his mom saw it. She never said anything though. I'm pretty sure she saw a vibe in my bag too. Oh well.

There is nothing to be ashamed of though, you have your boyfriend's support. You'll be okay. Unless something is said, just act like it never happened. Even when my mom confronted me, I still played a little stupid and innocent. I keep clitoral vibes in one of my drawers, they are all in a storage bag but I just have a feeling she has seen them. I don't care at this point.
08/07/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by Falsepast
Quickly! The most important thing to do in this sort of situation is to PAAANNNIIIICCCC!!!!

Just kidding, you should actually do the opposite. Although I understand how you feel, just relax. I believe that since it is your property with your ...
Adding on to this, you could maybe have your boyfriend say something to the guy.
08/07/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
Thanks so much for your support. I am not really so embarrassed because he found it. I could easily live with it if I knew he saw it and didn't care. But because he took the slip I feel like that's proof he wants to use it in a way that will affect me badly. I know his family is going to make fun of me behind my back for it if he tells them... They don't like me much (at all, really. Just because I'm dating the least liked member of their family) and they're all rich so I'm kind of a joke to them. Plus, 20 year olds don't get the courtesy other people get. If he'd found that with somebody's mother's name on it nothing would ever be said.

I can't really say he was stealing anything because no one will side with me on that. The box was next to the trash and the owner of the house gave him the door code and permission to enter. I have no footing in that battle.

And I don't want to say anything to him about it because that would be acknowledging that he has something sensitive. Bullies love it when you care. I've only met him a couple of times, so saying something would definitely seem out of place. I keep trying to delude myself into thinking he just wanted the slip so he could check out EF and buy things /:

I'm thinking the best course of action is to just lay low and avoid his family for a long time. I just hope they don't all get drunk while I'm there and talk about it. That sort of thing happens. But it is easy to avoid them when I'm in college. Not so much his dad because he's my landlord. :/
08/07/2012
spookycutie spookycutie
That's weird and immature of him to hold on to it. Like someone else suggested, I'd maybe have your boyfriend ask him about it. Have you told your boyfriend?
08/07/2012
CaliGirl CaliGirl
Just talk to your boyfriend, see what he thinks about it.
08/07/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
I am pretty sure it's illegal to go through other peoples trash without a warrant. If you're really that concerned you can call the police. It'll show him that he can't get away with that kind of thing, and it also might show his family that you're not a pushover.

I agree that you should talk to your boyfriend. He knows these people better than you do, and he'll have a better idea how to handle this.
08/07/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
I have told my boyfriend. He is on my side on this and agrees that the guy who took it was in the wrong. But there isn't anything he can do. He'll stand up for me if he needs to, but only if the situation presents itself.
08/07/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I am pretty sure it's illegal to go through other peoples trash without a warrant. If you're really that concerned you can call the police. It'll show him that he can't get away with that kind of thing, and it also might show his ...
He's a cop, so I don't think calling the police would do anything. He has taken boxes before. I don't know what he wants with them, but man it would have been nice of him to ask. My boyfriend was asleep when he came in the house so he didn't notice or stop him.
08/07/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Quote:
Originally posted by Ex-prude
He's a cop, so I don't think calling the police would do anything. He has taken boxes before. I don't know what he wants with them, but man it would have been nice of him to ask. My boyfriend was asleep when he came in the house so he ...
Cop or not he had no right to take it. It is still evasion of privacy and he can be scolded for that. Talk to your boyfriend see if there is any talking to this man. If not I would take matters into my own hands.
08/07/2012
Beck Beck
Honestly, I say embrace it. You already said they don't like you and this will give them something to laugh about behind your back. Laugh it off and move on. Don't avoid the situation because they will know that you feel upset about it and will likely use it against you. As I said embrace it. I'd ask him in front of everyone if he still has the slip he took out of one of your boxes. This will catch him off guard. And let everyone in the room know that it said "crotchless panties" or whatever. If you bring it up and make it appear like it isn't a huge deal...no one will really have much to say about the subject. And he doesn't get the opportunity to use it against you because you beat him to the punch.
08/07/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Wow that guy has no life.
08/07/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Honestly, I say embrace it. You already said they don't like you and this will give them something to laugh about behind your back. Laugh it off and move on. Don't avoid the situation because they will know that you feel upset about it and ...
Beck you always have some good input. I agree with you here she should do that. Make him feel like a ass when asked in front of everyone.
08/07/2012
Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
He needs too be embarrassed for being a big old pervert you didn't do anything wrong..
08/07/2012
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Honestly, I say embrace it. You already said they don't like you and this will give them something to laugh about behind your back. Laugh it off and move on. Don't avoid the situation because they will know that you feel upset about it and ...
So far I agree with Beck here.

Only, I'd say, "Remember that day you went through my trash and kept the packing slip? Do you still have it? The vibe I bought needs to be returned and silly me. I didn't keep the packing slip and I need it back."

I personally would own up too it and take the bull by the dick and bend the situation to my will.

If you show everyone that you have no issues and no problems with being a sexual person, they cannot do anything about it. And because you are calling him out for being a creep, searching through your rubbish... he is the one that would be humiliated for beign a rubbish picker.

And as for tossing out the packing slips, keep the packing slips! You need those in case something goes wrong with your toys to return them!!!!
08/07/2012
Mikemanz Mikemanz
Sorry you are troubled. Usually when I worry about how something will turn out I spend a lot of time and energy on it, playing out various scenarios and "what-ifs" only to never have those situations even come up! Now I try not to worry, because it really doesn't do anything to help resolve anything in any way. Easier said than done, yes, but ease your mind, regardless of how it plays out I'm willing to bet it won't be nearly as awful as you imagine.


08/07/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I am pretty sure it's illegal to go through other peoples trash without a warrant. If you're really that concerned you can call the police. It'll show him that he can't get away with that kind of thing, and it also might show his ...
Oh yeah, it is a federal crime. You should call him out on it. Felony > EF.
08/07/2012
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 16