Quote:
Originally posted by
Kindred
(Let's not make this a male bashing thread please. Let's face it, both male and female partners can say the dumbest things at times.)
My suggestion, talk to him and tell him what blogging means to you. If it's not "shameless
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(Let's not make this a male bashing thread please. Let's face it, both male and female partners can say the dumbest things at times.)
My suggestion, talk to him and tell him what blogging means to you. If it's not "shameless self-promotion," then what is it to you. Blogging can mean so many different things to people ranging from a simple forum to share yourself to therapy as an outlet for expressing yourself. If he understood better what it truly means to you, perhaps he would not be so callous in his comments. If he still does not understand and at least respect your decision to blog, then you may have to evaluate the relationship. If my partner did not respect my art, I would feel that they did not respect me either.
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I think Kindred makes a really good point here.
It's likely that he hasn't given blogging a lot of thought, and was just casually dismissing it out-of-hand, not understanding that it can have different meanings for different people. I read a handful of economics blogs, for example, that don't have much to do with promoting their writers at all---just interesting exchange of information. Sex toy blogging can be good for exploring your sexuality, and finding a community of like-minded people to discuss things with (which benefits him, too, in the long run). I'm not sure what your particular blog is focused on, or what you get from it. But you should say something like "Hey, [boyfriend], it was kind of hurtful to me when you casually dismissed all blogging as 'shameless self promotion' last night---some of it might be, but that's not the case for all blogs. It would make me feel better if you acknowledged some of these possible positive reasons..." and then describe some of the positive things you gain from it.
I have to raise my hand during discussions with my sig. other all the time saying "excuse me, I don't want to distract from our actual focus here but that was kind of an unwarranted generalization" and it's always met with a "whoops, you're right, I was just trying to make a point quickly and I didn't think it all the way through, I only meant 'x is the case in some situations' "--- (it must be exhausting as all get-out to talk about anything with me
but at least everyone's feelings keep from getting hurt.) Anyway, even though I'm usually pretty careful about what I say, I still make generalizations offhandedly too. And my partners have called me on it, and I always realize I had spoken without really thinking--and then apologize, explain what I really meant (or listen to his explanation of how I trod on his toes, and adapt how I think about things to include the new information) and then we move on with the conversation.
Just mention it quietly, I'm sure he'll understand and be a little more careful about not making generalizations about blogging from here on out.
Does he know you have a blog?
