Letting him/her down easy

Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
OH&W, Lovebears
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Almost all of us some time or another have had to break up a relationship. And some of us more than others. People change or you find out things you don't like about them. Irregardless of the reason, what were easy ways to let the person down ?

Anyone have suggestions for the rest of us how this ? Is there any good ways to avoid having that person stalk you ? Or try to get even and make your life miserable ?

And aside from a RO, what can one do if the person does hold a grudge ?
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Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
This is a difficult one for me, only because I'm such a people pleaser, try very hard not to hurt the other's feelings, I often hold a lot in. This brings me to a breaking point where I'm either so unfulfilled or the relationship is spiraling quickly down the drain. By that point, I've either started building walls, or pushing away just to avoid being the person who has to end it.

I've tried the, "We're better off as friends, I'm just not ready for this, it's me--not you" speaches resulting in amicable separations. Then, I've also had the crazy, psycho stalkers. Stalkers are irrational and hard to deal with. It takes time and a lot of patience but eventually they usually move on to another target.

Breakups in general are never easy though. No matter if you're the one wanting out or the one being left. It sucks both ways.
Contributor: Stellar Stellar
I really believe there's no good or smooth way to end a relationship. It sucks anyway, and it doesn't matter how hard we try to brighten it up a bit. The only thing that two people should do while breaking up in order to not hurt each other even worse is to remain respectful and keep their dignity.
I once had an experience of a bad relationship, which didn't have a chance of end well. The guy was not only furious - he went crazy and really was stalking me, following me anywhere I went and then facing me and starting to cry, falling on his knees, yelling - and so on, being outrageously hysterical. It took over two months for him to let go and calm down, but he was really determined to turn my life into living hell. I tried talking, calming him down, even apologizing for things I didn't do, just to make him go away.
The real struggle was that we've been friends before that for 11 years. And I had no idea he was capable of behaving that way.
So, I am sure that there's no way of ending a relationship in a good way. Eventually, someone gets hurt, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Thank you Stellar, Vanessa and Symbiasin for your replies. I was hoping someone had so good ideas. I once took few months to let someone down easy. We had been in a relationship for 3 yrs. She did move on. Last I heard she married and had kids.

I also once broke up with a gal and she started crying. I had been trying to let her know for weeks, but she wanted to cling on. We were just not right for each other. She lived on the "other side of town" In a mansion no less. My friends felt I was too mean, but it seemed to be the only way at the time.

I have also had a person hate me after I requested a common positive relationship.

I guess it depends on the maturity of the other person.

I hope someone can share some suggestions.

Where's Inq, TTG and NJC when you need them ?