Middle school principal bans strapless dresses at dances; what do you think?

I personally don't see much difference between a strapless dress and one with spaghetti straps. You see just as much skin.

It should definitely be the parent's decision

It's the parents call I mean in my school you had to have some kind of strap in class and I understand that, but it's a dance what will the boys be distracted from? dancing lol

If it is a school function, I think the school has the right to enforce a dress code. I personally, as a student or a parent, wouldn't like it though.

"She (the principal) says strapless dresses are too distracting for boys."

Then wouldn't the solution be telling the boys to stop acting like easily distracted idiots. "It is neither a woman's nor a girl's responsibility to control a man's or boy's behavior."

This is a self-perpetuating problem: This passes, boy learn that it girls responsibility not to be distracting to them. Girls also learn this. Boys continue to be easily distracted idiots girls learn to police their bodies to control the hordes of dumb penis bearers.

Teach the boys that a strapless dress is not a excuse to be easily distracted.

Boys= learn respect for women, how to not be distracted by something as insignificant as strap/lack of strap.
Girls=Don't have to police their bodies due boys getting a pass for bad behavior
Parents=get to decided with out school interference.

The dress code itself not to much of a problem in it of itself, dress codes are by their nature can be arbitrary but ,it isn't just an arbitrary line, when the reasoning is antiqued and problematic and explicitly stated by an authority figure it needs to be resisted. We can raise our boys better and out girls deserve better

/end rant

Looking back, I know there were some dress codes in our school... I don't seem to recall seeing any of those. But anyway...

I agree, there isn't much of a difference between most of the dresses with and without. Although the above mentioned comment about someone pulling a dress down... it seems like they would have no choice in that situation. With the way people over-react, assign blame and kind of overlook the real problem.

I personally think it should be up to the parents, but I can also see the need for schools to have dress codes.

I wouldn't say she necessarily did "the right thing", but any school has the right to create and enforce a dress code. They do it every day during the school day, I don't see how this is any different.

While I can understand not wanting dresses that are to short, or to low in either the front or back, strapless seems a bit of a stretch.

Since when do boys go insane at the sight of naked collarbones? It's not like they're topless dresses, sheesh.

I don't really see the difference between a strapless dress and a dress with spaghetti straps.

I think it should be up to the parents to decide what their child wears as well as teach their sons/daughters to behave appropriately.

My daughters' middle school has a dress code, including shirts have to have straps that are at least 2 inches wide, and they enforce the dress code at dances as well. It's a 7th and 8th grade dance, not Prom. Most of the dress codes in our middle school are MUCH stricter than this.. mostly because too many parents don't give a damn what their kids wear. We ARE talking about children, not older teens and not other adults.

A lot of parents let their daughters dress completely inappropriately (in middle school kids are between 10 and 14) and sometimes the school has to do what the parents won't. We're talking about young adolescents and I don't think they have to wear strapless dresses.

I don't have a problem with the rule. I agree that the reason for the rule is that "it's a distraction for the boys" is ridiculous but I do think that if parents won't protect their 10-14 year old daughters from dressing like street walkers, then the school may have to do it. Yes, I know, some strapless dresses can be classy. But, does a 10 or 12 year old girl really need to wear one? No. School is not a night club, nor are these kids old enough to attend at night clubs. They are still children. Let's not forget that.

I think the reason is stupid, does she not realize the girls and boys will be touching when they dance? I don't find strapless to be a big issue either, I find parents letting their little girl's booty hang out the bottom of a to short skirt an issue.

I totally agree with namelesschaos that it's ridiculous to ban strapless dresses because boys might get "distracted" . It's a milder form of the same logic that a woman was "asking for it" if she wore something "provocative" ; ;.

Even if the logic behind the decision was reasonable (which it isn't), putting the ban in place could have been handled MUCH better. Involve the parents in the decision-making process; get their input and at least LISTEN to them.

And I'm sure it would have been a LOT less controversial if the change had been announced before parents started buying dresses for their kids. Some of those dresses cost ridiculous amounts of money, finding the "perfect" dress often takes a long time, and finding a new dress at the last minute may be impossible. It probably would have been better to announce that this would be the last year for strapless dresses. Springing this on parents at the last minute was just "asking for it".

Right or wrong doesn't matter, being a school event the principal has the right to make the rules. Furthermore, having experience in this area, the majority of parents can't be trusted to decide what's appropriate wear for their children. You may not like that, but it is a fact! Most parents either don't care or don't have the time to be burdened. Not all, but enough that it ruins it for everybody. And seriously, their upset over this trivial item. They could just not have the dance!
What's the difference between strapless and spaghetti straps? Yeah they both show the same amount of skin, but one is secure while the other comes down easily, exposing the breast, either by accident, on purpose or by the hands of a jerk who thinks he's being cute. It's called playing it safe, and anyways, this is a middle school, not a high school.
You may not agree with me about parents and that's fine, but I challenge you to spend some time at a high school, I think your mind will be changed. Our local high school has a first knuckle rule for skirt, dress and short length for girls and they take full advantage of it. I'm at the local high school at least twice a day dropping off and picking up my son and I've seen more ass cheek, and a few times a little more, than you would see at a nightclub on any given weekend.

I'm alright with spaghetti straps in high school. I wore a strapless dress in high school. This is middle school. There's a reason there are all these internet jokes about jail bait. Why are people allowing their kids to dress like adults? They're 11, 12, 13. I say straps and the principal was right. They're kids and need to dress appropriately. High school is a different story but these are middle schoolers.

"They could just not have the dance!"

Which would actually be a much better solution to the issue of "distracting boys" then baning a specific dress style. Dances are a privilege if a student body of any age can not handle seeing bare shoulders then they have not earned the privilege. Which actually intersects with something else I've been researching the concept of "gameifcation" (turning life into a game of short in order to increase motivation and productivity.)

A "game" by it natures has rewards that have to be earned, the current system of school functions is not a system of earned privilege. They can be taken away but you start the year assuming they will exist, this is lack of a dance as a punishment. However, in the "game" model you'd have to "unlock" dances, good grades attendance, not getting in trouble all would give you points, bad grades detentions you would lose points. You need x number of points to unlock a prom ticket. Also each class would function as a team you need to have so many point to have a dance in the first place it in the first place. Now this idea has a lot a problem but my point here is not to necessarily argue for this model, but to use it as an example of a system where dances would truly function as an earned privilege.

What gets me is this: strapless dresses were just fine for the 2012 Readington Middle School Spring Dance but suddenly they're distracting to boys and are not fine for the 2013 Spring Dance? And they can't announce this change until a month before the dance?

I'm guessing they're responding to some incident(s) which happened recently... but if I were a parent who'd made 10 trips to local stores and shelled out several hundred bucks for a dress that was fine when I bought it, but now suddenly useless, I think I'd be pretty pissed-off, too.

Distracting from what? It's a school dance, not class. I don't really get it.

We weren't allowed to wear them in our middle school either. It was ridiculous. If the parents think it's okay, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

Every school has a dress code, what makes this different? Although you don't really see more skin without straps it helps keep you up so there isn't any "accidents". Along with that some boys that age are really just immature and might step on someones dress to see it come down or put it down from the back.

Also you talk about parents that have already bought a dress and spent so much money. Who pays a lot for a middle school dress???? It's not like it's high school prom. Even then all they are saying is the dress has to have straps, just find similar color fabric and just sew/pin them on. A dance isn't a right. At least they are going to a nice place, we just had ours (BOTH middle and high school dances in the cafeteria). Oh yeah, and in middle school most of our people just wore shirts and skirts.