The New Intimacy

Mother-in-law sends worst email ever to bride-to-be: forgivable?

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I know we don't always get along with our family and people inlaws have been the butt of jokes for ages, but a surprising amount of people love their inlaws. this family on the other hand is going to have a lot of issues to work out. This is also another great reminder of "don't put anything out on the internet that you don't want people reading, even in a private email."

This future mother-in-law wasn't exactly thrilled with her future daughter-in-law's manners. Normal people might just grin and bear it and only have to deal with them on holidays or whatever, or pull them aside and have a word in private. Instead, this woman decided to send the bride to be an email about it. The bride, obviously shocked, sent it to a few friends to share the shock value and they ended up sending it forward, and so on, and so on until it turned viral and everybody knew about it.

I honestly have no idea what to say about this, but after I read what this lady wrote, I really had no idea. It makes me really happy that my mother-in-law wouldn't ever send me anything like that, lol.
07/01/2011
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Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
I totally agree about the modest wedding remark, but the rest of it is pretty bad.
07/01/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I'd always thought that Brits were just a little wacky. That's just another example of it.
07/01/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I have to wonder just how loudly this bride-to-be protested to deserve such a scathing email for her soon to be mother-in-law.

I kind of have a feeling this marriage won't last long or he'll never speak to his step-mother again. Still, she absolutely crossed the line by scolding her like a five year old.

In-law drama, it just never dies.
07/01/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
i could also understand the being more modest w/ planning a wedding w/ what you have, but what she said about her parents not planning & saving up knowing they had a daughter was uncalled for. her parents may not have been able to save up for something like this b/c they were too busy saving up for her going to college or something like that.
07/01/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Wow, that is 1 judgmental lady! I think they're going to continue to be in uncomfortable predicaments unless the step-son says something to her and draws a line in the sand. Even if you do have good advice to give (like having a more modest wedding) that is not how you give it effectively.
07/01/2011
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
I'm so happy my boyfriend's mother likes me.

Also, when my cousin and her now ex-husband got married they had a wedding here, in the US, for her family and one in England. They got married in a castle.
07/01/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
Some of her advice is sound (like the wedding cost), but it was definitely said way too harshly. An email should never have been the forum to bring up problems like this.
07/01/2011
Contributor: alliegator alliegator
It is usually wise to make a good first impression on the family to be, but isn't your family the people you are supposed to relax and be comfortable around? The picky-ness over the food manners seemed silly. Also, I would so get married in a castle if I could. It may be "tacky", but it would also be awesome
07/01/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
Some of her advice is sound (like the wedding cost), but it was definitely said way too harshly. An email should never have been the forum to bring up problems like this.
Agreed.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
I agree it was pretty harsh but what i would like to know is how badly this bride to be acted if the mother in law felt that the email was called for? Everyone here is only seeing what the mother in law said and really isn't getting the back story, I mean really I would send a bloody harsh email if she lazing around my house, and dictating her food orders.
The stuff about her parents is a little uncalled for, I agree with that but then again we don't know the back story. the mother in law obviously has met these people or I would hope so and might have good reason to say what she did, what if they were drunks who blew all their money on booze or even worse drugs?

We can all pass judgement on the little snippet of info we have about what went on but honestly, no one but these people know what the story is and if the bride to be is as bad as the email makes her out to be I say Good on you lady, cause I wouldn't put up with such a rude, lazy and poorly mannered daughter in law!
07/02/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Linga
I agree it was pretty harsh but what i would like to know is how badly this bride to be acted if the mother in law felt that the email was called for? Everyone here is only seeing what the mother in law said and really isn't getting the back ... more
I like your balanced view - we don't know the situation so making a judgement is not a good approach.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
The sad part is, some of those things is what my own father would expect of any guy I marry if that were to happen. :|

But as was said before, we don't have the whole story, we're only getting one side.
07/02/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
My mother-in-law made it very clear from the beginning that she didn't like me. The first time I attempted to give her, my father-in-law and my sister-in-law Christmas presents, she refused to accept hers and wouldn't let my sister-in-law accept hers. My father-in-law kept his against her wishes.

She's gotten a little better over the eight years of my relationship and marriage with her son, but she still goes out of the way to insult me and make me miserable whenever she sees the opportunity. She also insults my sister-in-law's fiance who is actually a great guy.

She also occasionally sends emails that make my husband extremely upset.

Sadly, sometimes the stereotype of an awful mother-in-law is true.
07/09/2011