The New Intimacy

My first car accident :( (moral support)

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Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
OMG, I know I wasn't responsible for the accident but I have this huge feeling of guilt.

I stopped at a yellow light and the person behind me was inattentive and he crashed into me. I keep feeling like I should have continued instead of stopped.

I was shaking all over, and my heart stopped when I saw a little girl in the front seat of the car that hit me. We are all ok, but it was still so very quick and a horrifying experience for me.

I feel angry that this has happened, I feel guilty and my anger makes me cry. I have been weeping for an hour now. I wish it hadn't happened. I am so grateful that we were not injured any of us, especially the little girl.

Has anyone else experienced something similar or similar emotions. I am so confused and not sure how to feel. I need a little community love
08/29/2011
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Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
Yeah, I've been in one where I was T-Boned when someone blew a stop sign. And I have to say, it was really hard, and I was just flooded with adrenaline, and it causes you to feel all sorts of emotions. Everyone is ok, and that ultimately is what is important. It can take days if not weeks for really get a grip on everything. Just understand that it's a natural thing to get a little rattled by this and you will be ok soon. *Hugs!*
08/29/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucky21
Yeah, I've been in one where I was T-Boned when someone blew a stop sign. And I have to say, it was really hard, and I was just flooded with adrenaline, and it causes you to feel all sorts of emotions. Everyone is ok, and that ultimately is what ... more
Thanks, I am glad to hear I am not alone.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I am so sorry that you had an accident and are going through all this emotional trauma.

And yes, everyone gets upset when they get into an accident. You are not unusual in having a very emotional response. Especially for your first accident. Be kind to yourself for the rest of the day. Have a nice glass of wine or a long hot bath or whatever makes you feel better. (Do not have a whole bottle of wine. Getting drunk really does not help things.)

Just keep telling yourself that everyone is okay, and that's not your fault. And even if you did make some sort of mistake, that you are only human. Everyone makes mistakes. Though in this case, it does sound like you are absolutely NOT AT FAULT in any way.

You are a good person who just went through a traumatic event. It's okay to be upset.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Just be thankful that no one was seriously hurt. Yellow lights do mean to slow down and prepare to stop. If you hadn't stopped, the driver might have went right through the red light and something worse could have happened.

The best thing to do is to calm yourself down. Try not to think about it obsessively. Doing so is called ruminating, and it's not good for your emotions at all. Look at the situation objectively. You got in a car accident, these things happen, no one got hurt. If you can keep your mind going this direction instead of giving into anxiety, you'll feel a lot better.

Trust me on this one. I used to get all freaked out over things like that, but concepts in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy have helped me to keep things under control in distressing situations.
08/29/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
So sorry that you are having to go through this. Just be reassured that no one was hurt and personal property can be replaced, while lives can't. My father in law drives an 18 wheeler, like my husband. About 6 weeks ago a guy blew a stop sign, hit him and then hit another car head on. He passed at the scene. My F-I-L still has to deal with this every day, through no fault of his own. I try to tell him that he probably saved the life of the people behind him (Family of 4) by his truck taking the most force of the impacts. Maybe your car stopped them from going through the light and kiiling themselves or someone else that was traveling at a higher speed.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
I am so sorry that you had an accident and are going through all this emotional trauma.

And yes, everyone gets upset when they get into an accident. You are not unusual in having a very emotional response. Especially for your first ... more
No wine for me! Just the hot bath will do I think, that's a great idea!
08/29/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
So sorry to hear that. Hot bath and whatever else you do to relax! Glad you are okay. I do not drive yet so I never wrecked a car. I flipped my four wheeler a few times before hurt myself good. Makes you very nervous to even drive again. However, you will, at least I did.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
This is one of those moments in life where I advocate reaching for the nearest Xanax bottle. I'm so sorry you experienced this today. I had a really bad car accident several years ago and I still get nervous when I'm behind the wheel.

I'm so glad that you and everyone else were able to walk away. It doesn't do any good to second guess your decision to stop at the light. Nothing will change those events and maybe it will bring something good into your life. You never know!
08/29/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm so sorry to hear you were in an accident. Yellow lights mean slow down, and I agree with everybody else that it could have been a lot worse and they could have gone through a red light and something even worse could have happened.

Ivy Wilde has a good suggestion with treating yourself to something kind, the long bath sounds like a great idea. You've got lots of big hugs from me too *big hugs*.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
Just be thankful that no one was seriously hurt. Yellow lights do mean to slow down and prepare to stop. If you hadn't stopped, the driver might have went right through the red light and something worse could have happened.

The best thing ... more
Having called the insurance and the garage has got my mind off it a bit and I am feeling better with everyone's support.

I'm glad I had the experience, it was a learning experience but I hope it doesn't happen again!
08/29/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm so sorry to hear you were in an accident. Yellow lights mean slow down, and I agree with everybody else that it could have been a lot worse and they could have gone through a red light and something even worse could have happened. ... more
Thanks, hugs are always something I love to receive.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
Just be thankful that no one was seriously hurt. Yellow lights do mean to slow down and prepare to stop. If you hadn't stopped, the driver might have went right through the red light and something worse could have happened.

The best thing ... more
This.

And the hot bath will do wonders. Tomorrow, you will feel a little sore from the jolt. The hot bath will help those muscles relax so the pain is next to nothing.

I know from experience. Passenger side for me in a 1980 mini about 10 years back. a guy did a uturn in the middle of the intersection without warning, the guy in front of us slammed on his brakes and we hit his rear end. It was scary but everyone was fine. Just shaken up a bit.

*hugs*
08/29/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
Thanks, hugs are always something I love to receive.
Well lucky for you, hugs are always free
08/29/2011
Contributor: catgirl9 catgirl9
Sorry you had such a rough day, but it will get better. Thankfully nobody was hurt!

I got hit once when some idiot ran through an uncontrolled intersection. I had the right of way but she just barreled through it...on the phone, kids in the van. I think I about crapped my pants; it was the first wreck I'd been in and I was shaking like a leaf. I still get nervous at intersections but definitely not as much as I used to.

You'll be okay. You did nothing wrong in stopping for the yellow; the other person should have been more aware. Take others' suggestions and try to relax.
08/29/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It is totally normal to feel the way you feel. You had a HUGE dose of adrenaline pumped into your body, which always leaves you crashing down from it afterwards and feeling exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm glad no one was seriously hurt, but I imagine you will be sore tomorrow. There are FAR too many inattentive drivers out there - you may have taught this man a valuable lesson: pay extra attention when driving with a child in the car! And no one had to get hurt to learn it. Take care of yourself! I'm sorry you had that happen, it is a very upsetting thing to go through.
08/29/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
I've been involved in a few accidents. There was one similar to yours. I had a green arrow to turn left and a lady was driving from the opposite direction and claimed she also had a green, and hit the back end of me. I felt terrible, because they had a baby in the back seat. It took weeks for me to finally calm down, even though it was entirely the other persons fault.
Just remember everything will be okay in the end, at no one was hurt. Could have been worse.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Thanks everyone for your stories and your support. I took a bath and my guy was awesome enough to give me a massage although today should be his day as it is his birthday.

I feel much better, the shaking has disappeared. I sometimes get flashes of how it happened and then it makes me over-analyze the situation. What is done, is done, and there's nothing I can do to change it. I try to think of other things to keep my mind off it.

Thanks again!
08/30/2011