Pregnant for attention

Pregnant for attention

.kaycat .kaycat
How do you feel about teens that get pregnant on purpose so they can have their way, or women who lie to their significant others about pregnancy to keep them from leaving or women who know their man is leaving and try to get pregnant that way they'll "still have a part of him to love"

Children are gifts of joy, I don't have any yet but I would only have one for the right reasons.
05/07/2013
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charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
I suspect it was an unhealthy relationship beforehand if you feel you have to lie to your man and get preggo on the sly.

I think it's selfish. You're setting your child up for a possible lifetime of resentment from their father. Everyone involved in a situation that may create a child should be informed on the birth control being used.
05/07/2013
stacylyn stacylyn
Quote:
Originally posted by .kaycat
How do you feel about teens that get pregnant on purpose so they can have their way, or women who lie to their significant others about pregnancy to keep them from leaving or women who know their man is leaving and try to get pregnant that way ...
I think that it is the stupidest thing I ever heard
05/07/2013
.kaycat .kaycat
Quote:
Originally posted by stacylyn
I think that it is the stupidest thing I ever heard
Right? I don't get why people do it, I'm 20 and I have aqantances younger than me doing all the above
05/07/2013
peachmarie peachmarie
I feel really sad for women/girls who do that. If your relationship is really that bad then aren't you better off with someone else who want's to be with you rather than trying to guilt/force a guy to stay with you? How miserable would that be for both parties and the child.
05/07/2013
Taylor Taylor
I think they are doing something that they honestly believe will fill a need in themselves and make themselves happier, but it's really a pretty misguided move. I think they are not looking at the whole picture of responsibility, and just looking for that one need they want filled
05/07/2013
js250 js250
Any time a child is used as an excuse--it is a bad situation. I do not feel babies should be any excuse or reason for a relationship....
05/07/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I hate this type of behavior. It is awful to use a human for an agenda when they have no power to assert that their needs are taken care of.
05/07/2013
TheirPet TheirPet
It's the sign of a very unhealthy and very immature relationship.
05/07/2013
HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by .kaycat
How do you feel about teens that get pregnant on purpose so they can have their way, or women who lie to their significant others about pregnancy to keep them from leaving or women who know their man is leaving and try to get pregnant that way ...
Yes, children are a blessing NOT a TOOLS! My husband's ex-wife has used his children as tools to get what she wants for years and it has angered me to the point of insanity. I love my husband and my mother-in-law deeply so when I saw what she was doing to them I flew into a rage. I called her and confronted her with this outrageous behavior. The best she could do is stoop to name calling and threats. I told her if she felt froggy to go ahead a jump then tossed the phone to my husband. She had the nerve to ask him if this was true and he told her "Yeah, you always have". She then resorted to asking him if he would ever take her back. He told her, "Hell No". "Not even for the kids" and he pointed out to her that she was using them as pawns right then and told her, "There is no force between heaven and hell that would ever make me take you back!"

As for having a child to keep a man, I've seen it time and time again, it NEVER works out the way they want or hope. I have a friend who has 5 children and doesn't have custody of any of them. Nor is she with any of the fathers. To top it off she is wanting to have another child that she doesn't have the means to take care of. When will it stop.
05/07/2013
KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
Ugh, I have a cousin who purposely stopped taking birth control pills when her relationship was rocky, so that she could get pregnant; she said the baby would keep him from leaving. Although I absolutely love the child, I disagree with my cousin's timing with her pregnancy. The guy did stay with her, but she and her boyfriend fight constantly (including physical abuse). As much as the rest of the family tries to support her, she wants to be with him. So, we let her know that we will be here, if and when (hopefully), she takes a step back.
05/07/2013
Fluke Fluke
It's one of the most despicable things someone can do and there's no real consequences or deterrents for this type of behavior. Happens all the time, sadly.
05/07/2013
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Any time a child is used as an excuse--it is a bad situation. I do not feel babies should be any excuse or reason for a relationship....
Agreed.
05/07/2013
snowminx snowminx
I think people like that are already not all there in the head, I think it's pretty sad really. I'm not an angel so I'm not going to be here to judge, I just it's just really sad for both the children and the people involved. Usually women like that didn't have a great childhood or don't have any good role models to look up to so they cling to people they feel safe with (their partner) and if they are breaking up they might say "I'll have a baby!" because they think it will keep him. Teenagers don't always think things though and make the right choices, they don't always think of the how things will effect not only them but other lives in the long run.
05/07/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
It is very sad that people have no concept of what real love is then bring a child into their dysfunction. If you have to trick someone into staying with you, you have very low self-esteem. If you have a child just to get/keep a man then you are very selfish because you are only thinking of yourself and your needs. It is a total disregard for the man and the child. Besides, it rarely, if ever, works out. Children put more stress on a relationship not less. If it is bad before the child, it will get worse after the child is born.
05/07/2013
XxFallenAngelxX XxFallenAngelxX
I have a neighbor who is like that. She had a baby a year ago, and is pregnant again. She is 17 or 18.
05/07/2013
kdlt kdlt
I had a friend (using that term loosely) in highschool that tried to save her failing relationship by telling the guy she was pregnant- he demanded she take a test at his house and when she didn't, he broke up with her anyway.
05/08/2013
bratcat bratcat
I'm not sure how much of this hold true. When it comes to the latter of women who lie about becoming pregnant to try and save a relationship is abusive an manipulative behavior, which is on the same level of emotional abuse that comes from people threatening suicide to keep a relationship going. I think it speaks to the unstable charter of said person and would urge them to get help through consoling. Actually i would give that advice to any of these types of people, as it's obvious that they are all people who may suffer form a mental disorder such as BPD.
05/08/2013
eri86 eri86
All the sex education in the world won't stop all people from making stupid mistakes and bad decisions.
05/08/2013
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by .kaycat
How do you feel about teens that get pregnant on purpose so they can have their way, or women who lie to their significant others about pregnancy to keep them from leaving or women who know their man is leaving and try to get pregnant that way ...
Bringing a child into the world for only attention? I feel it's very selfish and terrible.

To bring another life (a helpless one, at that) into the world only because someone is so self-absorbed/selfish is disturbing because if they're so self-absorbed to the point they would do something so huge, it really makes you wonder how they're going to manage to become un-selfish in 9 months time so that they can actually take care of the child. That's sad. Even sadder is I know more than one girl who did become pregnant on purpose for only attention and did not want the child. One of them even had their partner thinking they were on birth control, when they'd secretly stopped taking it. The pregnancy was a huge surprise to him. Needless to say, they are not together anymore and the child was pawned off on the grandmother who was already raising 7 other kids that were not hers, but her children's! I hate that people don't take into account how much damage they are possibly doing to the child's life, because I doubt many of them who did it only for attention miraculously end up loving and properly caring for it in 9 months after the fact. Someone that selfish does not change in nine months, so the child won't properly be cared for, if any at all cared for.

Maybe I've seen too many kids not cared for by their parents and pawned off on someone else, where that person has to see the pain the children have every single freaking day of their lives. Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about this. At this current moment, it flat-out pisses me off to see this happen. To see people purposefully having kids and not caring about them (there are other options!) and people pawning them off on other people and never caring about the pain they're causing those kids & especially (especially) when the particular "parent" has already done this to their children and then become pregnant again, and again, never even making one tiny effort to prevent it. There are options & I'm all for choices and having free time alone from the kids for a while, but when you do so much damage over and over to your kids and keep freaking having them to damage some more, it gets to me.

And to lie and sneakily become pregnant behind your partner's back, what the F!? That's not only immature, but it's not cute to play with other people's lives that way (the unsuspecting partner or the poor child). If you feel you have to become pregnant with them by lying about preventing it, then clearly it's not the time to be having a child, or it's the time to go about it another way. It usually means the spouse isn't ready, but hey, who cares when you can lie and "accidentally&quo t; become pregnant? Forcing another life on your partner cannot signify a very... good or strong relationship. And say that partner has no intentions on raising kids ever. Does a girl just not care & stick them with one anyways? Selfish again.

I also know situations where the male spouse does sneaky shi* because he wants a child when she does not. I know of a situation where a male lied to his partner for a year saying he was not able (said he had a vasectomy!) and well, what happened? Of course she ended up pregnant. This happens to be a person who already has one kid that isn't even allowed to see her & there's even more problems that are just insane. So I think it's crap to do something like this, whether it's a male or female. BOTH should be in agreement on something like this.

Accidents are a different story. They happen & if both parties have already talked about what can come from having sex (which if they have already had sex, I sure hope they thought to discuss some things first) and agree that if ever an accident did happen, they'd both be okay with it and be involved with the child's life, love it, do their best ,etc. Fine. That happens and it doesn't end badly every time. However, doing sneaky things that involve seriously affecting lives just because one is so beyond selfish tells me something more is going on. Perhaps something is wrong.
05/08/2013
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 19