Public transportation stories

Contributor: thesquaredeific thesquaredeific
Anyone have any interesting stories from riding public transportation?
10/01/2012
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
LOL Yes. Plenty.

My bus system is called Space Coast Area Transit - and it has rightly earned its acronym of SCAT. The system itself is a joke, since there is only one bus per route, so each stop is visited only once an hour. The drivers have their own schedule which doesn't correspond to the posted schedules, so patrons frequently miss the bus and have to wait an hour for the next one. It services the court complex, so just about everyone is late for their hearings. The hours are only between 7a and 9p (and forget about connecting routes being operated that early or late). The main transit terminal is located in the most dangerous neighborhood they could find behind a liquor store - and it being Florida, the shelters are a joke, so everyone expects to get rained on while waiting a half-hour or more for their connecting bus. It takes an hour-and-a-half on the bus when it takes twenty minutes when driving one's self.

Okay, you're probably wanting stories about the people and such:

1. One afternoon had one bus smelling like weed and bologna sandwiches.
2. Some days have themes in passengers: "Crazy Dudes with Backpacks", "Loud-Mouth White Bitches Talking Like Ghetto Girls", "Under 21 and Pregnant", "Dudes who Wear Wife-Beater Tanks", "Man-Whore Who Hits on Every Woman Riding", "Everybody's Got a Bike/Surfboard/Strolle r" etc.
3. I always bring my knitting on the bus, and I usually use metal knitting needles. This practically guarantees me some breathing space, because nobody wants to sit next to the quiet chick with pointy sticks. Although the only people who ask me about my knitting are the tough-guy thugs, which I find funny; they're also the ones who retrieve my yarn if it falls out of my lap.
4. The day one guy came on with a weed-whacker and spilled gasoline on the floor.
5. Several unwrapped and unused condoms in one seat.
6. One teenage couple making out (at least once a month).
7. One guy who took up two seats because he had his knees spread. I wanted to ask him if he was bow-legged or was airing his balls, but he was telling another rider about having to go to his domestic abuse hearing that morning, so I refrained and continued knitting.
8. I was hit on by an old war vet who was trying to play the "dotty old flirt", but everyone knew he was just a dirty old man.
9. One pre-teen boy who stared obsessively at my cleavage the whole ride - I wonder if I accidentally started puberty in him?
10. Being told someone's life story - which generally boils down to "I know he's an asshole, but I love him ... "

I probably witnessed more sadnesses related to the human condition, and I very likely will see more, as I still have the rest of the college semester for riding the bus. Public transportation ... comedy gold.
10/02/2012