I've always been someone who has struggled with self esteem issues. A lot of it has to do with my difficult childhood and feeling like I was never in control of any aspect of my life. Exploring my sexuality has been a long and bumpy road, but it's always something that made me feel in control. I called the shots! Ironically, it was learning to trust enough to give someone ELSE control and be submissive, that made me feel better about myself.
Now I can comfortably blend control in other areas of my life and submissiveness in the bedroom, and it works for me. Sounds a little contradictory, I know. It's a little confusing, but I'm the happiest I've ever been. Also, even though I just had a baby and my body looks "worse" than it's ever been, I have more confidence now and feel more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have. I'm sure that some of this due to my wonderful partner and the change that occurs in a woman mentally after having a child, but my journey started before he was even in the picture. It began before the ending of my longest relationship...one which was virtually sexless, during the dawn of new relationship that took place before I met my fiance. Another irony... that relationship was with a quadriplegic, some one who couldn't dominate me in any way, save mentally and emotionally. less