And you learned all of those the hard way? OMG, that is really sad! I suppose you are undoubtedly stronger and tougher for it. I just think it's a shame such a nice person has been burned so much; it makes me kind of sick thinking about it! I bet your daughter (don't know if you have other kids, but you mentioned her once on the forum) got a lot of very valuable advice from you and I hope she took it to heart and didn't have to learn the hard way!

I mostly agree with what you've written, but I have a few caveats. I trust some people to a degree, but no one implicitly. I probably trust them & my sister the most of anyone, but not with everything. I guess I hope there are people with whom I could show vulnerability, depend on, etc. but I have yet to find an all in one person, for that. I don't totally discount it could happen, but I doubt it!

Life lessons....that is what I choose to call them. Yes, I learned them the hard way, that is why once burned--I do not ever trust that person again for anything. However, I do believe that there are reasons for everything and that my learning them the hard way has allowed me to help others.

My daughter is wonderful about learning from my mistakes. I have always explained the lessons and background of how I learned what to her--never just said do not...whatever. That way she understands the reason why I have imparted the lesson to her.

And thanks, I appreciate the compliment since I do honestly like people and try to help them avoid some of the pitfalls I dealt with. I think it has made me more compassionate with others and stronger. I just keep a distance and do not let many others in to know me too deeply.

I don't blame you in the least for protecting yourself. I'm glad to hear your daughter took your advice to heart, I think it was partly because you were honest and told her why instead of to do such and such. I think the other part is she is smart enough to listen! My mother has always imparted her wisdom to us which I always listened to, some of my siblings, not so much Anyway, she made sure to do this because her parents believed in letting children/young adults sink or swim on their own with no input, even if asked! My mom thinks it's her job to at least mention things she knows, whether we listen is up to us, but why withhold valuable life experience? So I really like that you have a similar outlook about trying to let others, not just family, benefit from what you have experienced so they might avoid some missteps or find comfort in what's happening. I try to do the same. In a way it makes whatever we went through serve a better purpose than just something bad that happened to us, it can help someone else.


PS, In my comment above, I accidentally erased part of what I said, I meant I trust my parents and sister the most, but not even they get trusted with everything.

Stand On Your Own Two Feet

I find the negative people just love hanging with other negative people having a big bitchfest. Now, I admit to liking the occasional ranting bitchfest, but I can't dwell on it either. If I get burned, or can't stand someone's constant negativity, I stop their access to me. You know how they say forgive and forget? Well, I acknowledge (never forget), but move on.

You're right, I think your and js250's comments in my other thread about how much control you had over your life so far, shows that life is what you make of it. You chose to recognize obstacles, deal with them, perhaps adjust course and continue on. That flexibility in the way you view your journey to your goals is a perfect example of what you made of it. A more rigid personality would have derailed and abandoned the goal as impossible. It's all in your approach.

You can't really trust anyone

If you are going through a tough time or break up, do not trust your soon to be ex to play fair, even though you are, CYA.

Yeah, that has to be one of the suckiest lessons learned the hard way, ouch. I guess the hardest part of not trusting people, is that you want to trust a loved one & even when it's ending, you can be blindsided.

Trust no bitch! Lmao

Realistically, though, I have learned to trust others a little less easily. Take things with a grain of salt.

The deal that is too good to be true...is too good to be true.

Ouch. Glad you were not hurt. Been there, done that. Happens a lot in my business, with the long, stressful hours we work.

All those "Free Weekend Getaway" and "Free Cruise" offers? They aren't. Ever.

That is the hard one, getting burned by someone who you loved, and who probably really did love you too, at some point. Sorry. Hope it all works out peacefully.