This afternoon I went and saw a therapist. I came to the conclusion once I realized that maybe I just needed someone to talk to about all the shit going on in my life lately and maybe unload or try to get it into perspective. You know, clear my head and what not. I wasn't going to do it untill he said if i didn't like it I could leave with out charge, so I did it.
It was weird, even for me. He seemed to want to dig for what I thought was my deepest darkest secrets. It was just awkward. He asked what I do for fun, I told him about my sex toy reviews and how I get a lot of pleasure from the site and all that comes with it. Told him my sex life has changed for the better with sex toys and thats a plus for us and toys have never been an issue blah blah blah.
Suddenly, and seriously no shit out of nowhere, like in mid sentence he asked me if I ever used any for anal stimulation on myself. I said no, he asked if I was sure, I said no again. I tried to change the subject and he came back to it and just like I knew he would he asked me if I was really gay and just hiding behind a self made mask of lies. His exact words.
I said no, that I'm straight and I have never even thought of it. That I do think certain men are attractive, but not sexually. That I love everyone, no matter what they are, I just couldn't do that because I would feel to awkward.
Loooonnnng story short, he just kept saying it, like it was a bad thing if I was. Like it was the root of all my problems and he ment to destroy it to save my marriage.
He wants me to come back Thursday, should I just go find someone else? Or do you think this guy was on to something? Has anyone ever got into your head like that before? Because I kinda feel like that now.
Sorry for rambling, but I have felt shaken up by it for most of the day.