Who do you get along with more? Your Mother or Father?
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My mom and I have shopping in common and housekeeping. She likes some of my ideas of how decorate and in turn I admire hers. We wear the same size clothes so often we switch especially since her taste now has become more contemporary and stylish.
My folks and I often go out on what we call our bonding day shopping trip and have several stores we frequent together followed by a dinner out at a restaurant.
He's a bit of a nut, a really intelligent guy, college professor (retired) but he's a conspiracy theorist and that can get on my nerves. (He's one who believes 9/11 was caused by the government. I usually try to shut down these discussions before they get started... I really don't believe most of what he espouses when it comes to conspiracy theories and I don't want to get into it with him. He's an old man and I'm not going to argue with him.)
My mother and I also have a strained relationship. She is still bitter about my father divorcing her more than 25 years ago. (Actually, the order was for "mental cruelty" and she had to file it, but he was the one who wanted out.) She got remarried and her husband died, but she's still angry at my father for things that happened, like, 40 years ago. They do get along, though. They usually make an effort on Christmas, and my father always invites her when he has holidays at her house (she always declines) so I have that to be thankful for.
We have Christmas at our house, and I am grateful that they can get along for a while. A few Christmases ago, my mother was really digging into him at Christmas and I had to take her aside a few weeks later and point out what she was doing was childish and hurtful. He NEVER says anything against her, in public or in private and you have to respect that.
My dad and I never got along. He wanted to control me, for me to do all the things he loved to do as a kid. He tried to discourage me from doing anything I wanted to do which he wasn't into (which, unfortunately included rock music and sports, both of my major passions). He was quick to anger, even rage, and his default mode of dispute resolution was shouting. To him, "listening" was simply pausing for the other person to finish speaking before beginning his next rant. He believed in a wide array of conspiracy theories, which scared off almost all of my parents' friends. From an early age, I learned the fine art of "smile and nod", tacitly seeming to agree with whatever nonsense he said — while quietly pursuing my own interests without informing or involving him. We sort of patched things up late in his life. His personality changed almost completely after he had a stroke and I was finally able to have something of a positive relationship with him.
