Hilarious Tweets About... Ahem...*You Know What I mean*

Contributor: Stellar Stellar
My wonderful community! Okay, I can see that you are not really into cinematography, so I will try entertaining you with social media jokes.

Since we were talking recently about sex being everywhere around us - and having sex on the brain -

I propose you to have a laugh over these excellent tweets on our favorite topic.

1. Handsome Tweet Guy @SortaBad

Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
7:39 AM - 5 Aug 2014

2. David Hughes @david8hughes

Me: Netflix & chill?
Her: sure
[later that night]
Her: so you don't have Netflix?
Me [pulling out 20 condoms]: I don't have chill either

5:05 PM - 15 Sep 2015

3. Michael @Home_Halfway

[Goes to buy Virgin Airlines ticket]
"Can I buy one even if I've done sex?"
Um. Yes sir
"Cause I have"
"I've done all of it"
Please go

10:11 PM - 8 Jan 2015

4. dan @oxygenplug

"yes I'm very good in bed"
*folds blanket and neatly props up pillow*
*pillow falls over*
"Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"

8:45 PM - 20 Apr 2014

5. some light crying @somelightcrying

HER: talk confusedly to me
ME: what
HER: oh fuck yeah

8:50 PM - 24 Mar 2015

6. shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn

Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing
11:59 PM - 26 Dec 2013

7. pakalu papito @pakalupapito

sex is cool but have u ever had garlic bread
5:14 AM - 28 Feb 2015

8. Cool Eric @OBiiieeee

[trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex]

Her: faster! faster!

Me: oh god no

6:49 AM - 23 Oct 2014

9. God @TheTweetOfGod

Sex is a sacred, beautiful thing and you should wait to have it until you're absolutely sure you're horny.
3:20 AM - 26 May 2014

10. Rocky Momax @rockymomax

[having sex]
Me: Oh ya you like that?
Her: Deeper!
Me: [baritone voice] OH YA YOU LIKE THAT?

5:03 PM - 1 Nov 2015

11. Kalvin @KalvinMacleod

Welcome to Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming.
7:06 PM - 13 Jul 2015

12. Rolo XG @TheRolo

Cake is better than sex because I can remember the last time I had cake
1:03 AM - 16 May 2014

13. Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin

Every text conversation feels like bad sex where one person doesn't get to finish
11:50 PM - 3 Jan 2015

You can read the rest (I left the least funny untouched) here

Pick your favorite, post it in our discussion thread and we can even try inventing a few of our own! ALERT - The best and the funniest joke will be published on our company's Twitter!

Let's have a good laugh together
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Contributor: Stellar Stellar
Ready, Set, LAUGH
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
The one I liked the most was #3.

3. Michael @Home_Halfway

[Goes to buy Virgin Airlines ticket]
"Can I buy one even if I've done sex?"
Um. Yes sir
"Cause I have"
"I've done all of it"
Please go
Contributor: Andykh Andykh
These are hilarious
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I like the last one about bad sex and texting. Also the innuendo and coming.
Contributor: Stellar Stellar
I like the one about innuendo, too)
Maybe, someone could think of something equally funny? Or MORE?
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
#3 lol that was a good diversion for the evening