The New Intimacy

How do you feel about hearing "rape" in everyday speech?

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Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm ... more
It is disgusting.
06/08/2012
Contributor: LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I hate it with a passion. A lot of gamers say it as if rape is such a good thing...I always get really pissed off about it. I agree with Bodhi above: It does feel like they normalize something so terrible.
06/08/2012
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I have been raped, and I strongly discourage the people around me from making it into a joke. I feel like people who have experienced a traumatic incident have a right to make jokes about their trauma if it makes them feel better - I make jokes about my eating disorder.

I'm still working on dealing with the rapes (all by my ex, who I adored and who I excused at the time), but I'm in therapy.
06/09/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Although I myself have not been raped, the use of the word "rape" in everyday speech does bother me. I have not gone as far as to correct someone, but I just might. There are so many people who have been hurt and it isn't right to make light of something so serious.
06/13/2012
Contributor: BoobCopter BoobCopter
I hate it. I correct people whenever they do.
07/04/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
It makes it normal and it really desensitizes people to rape. People should not be desensitized about rape. It's a horrible, violent crime and a violation of a person's body. It's not getting charged too much at walmart.
08/06/2012
Contributor: snowyslut snowyslut
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm ... more
I am not a survivor, but I know several people who are, including some very very dear friends. That somebody would joke about one of the most traumatic moments in their lives (and often aggressively dismiss any concerns about their speech) is nothing less than abhorrent.
08/07/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I find it disturbing and frustrating, and don't use it in everyday conversation myself at all.
08/07/2012
Contributor: Experiment Experiment
It doesn't bother me. People talk about rape culture and all that. I know people who have used the term to describe things other than actual rape. But if you mentioned actual rape to those people, they think it's the sickest most deplorable act.

I don't think their use of the word desensitizes them to the desirableness of the actual act. If anything adds to that, it would be the depictions in the media.
08/08/2012
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
Statistically speaking, if you're using the word "rape" in a colloquial/slangy way, or telling a rape joke, in front of a group of 6 or more women, you are in the presence of at least one survivor, who may or may not be triggered by what you're saying.

To me, the concept of "free speech" isn't important at all in this instance; if you feel that your need to use the word "rape" in a non-literal way is more important than survivors' right to avoid being triggered, you are an insensitive, bigoted asshole. Plain and simple.
08/09/2012
Contributor: Do emu Do emu
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
A few years ago, I realized I was becoming "offended" about anything and everything I could. I was almost searching out things to "be offended" about.

I decided I needed to deal with my emotions better, and not look for ... more
Very well put. I still don't like to hear it, but I think I used to want to be offended by anything and everything for some reason. I'm choosing my battles more carefully now.
08/23/2012
Contributor: Scrawberry78 Scrawberry78
I don't use it and I never hear it being used.
08/23/2012
Contributor: Claire-Bear Claire-Bear
It's annoying. I'm worried people have become desensitized to it.
12/08/2012
Contributor: wildshores wildshores
normalizing rape is not ok. thankfully none of my friends talk like this.
12/10/2012
Contributor: 000000 000000
I wish the word hadn't gained the connotations of sexual assault, because I've tutored classic english a lot and trying to explain rape of the lock to a gender studies student can be exhausting.

All the same, being a survivor of sexual assault when people use it casually it tweaks my nerves a little bit.
01/05/2013
Contributor: falalena falalena
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm ... more
why joke or make light of such a disgusting and horrid act?
01/11/2013
Contributor: Harpina is gone Harpina is gone
The word makes me cringe and I don't like using it or hearing it.
01/11/2013
Contributor: fizzygato fizzygato
I really, really, really don't like it

That, and I don't like when people say stuff like, "You slaughtered it!" "You killed it!" etc. I don't like phrases that empower bad acts; it makes them seem as if they are good/ okay in some contexts, when really they're never okay to me (unless it's consensual?????)

I also don't like when people say stuff like, "I beat it," "I want to beat the idea into you," etc. I feel like those are a little more extreme, but they still annoy me anyway
01/11/2013
Contributor: quinceykay quinceykay
I absolutely hate it.
05/10/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
I'm a survivor and it doesn't bother me.
05/10/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
I don't use the word that way and it bothers me a little when others do. I'm fine with casual vulgarity, but I think "rape" has an even uglier meaning.
05/11/2013
Contributor: Nullipara Nullipara
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm ... more
I find it deplorable. I think it makes the person misusing the word appear uneducated.
05/12/2013
Contributor: llellsee llellsee
I'm not offended by it but I cringe at hearing the term when it's not used in any relation to rape itself.

I think it can be pretty distasteful to use the term just for 'shock value' humor.
05/15/2013
Contributor: karenm karenm
It bothers me a bit.
06/09/2013