dating isnt always fun

The New Intimacy

dating isnt always fun

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Contributor: pitona pitona
i dated a guy a few months ago. he was always broke. i think that if ur going out with ur man he should pay. but he never had money to pay with.
have u ever felt like not going out and having fun with ur partner cuz
they(as the guy) did not want to pay?
04/13/2012
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Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I think partners should share costs unless it's talked about before-hand or if someone is well-monied, makes it known, and wants to pay. Some people go by whoever suggested the date pays, but that can still be a bit unfair if one party is much shier. Whatever works.

I definitely don't think dating should just be assumed to be a free ride.

I like paying for things, but it would leave a bad taste in my mouth if I felt like it was necessary and expected of me. Like, what, you'd think less of me if we split the bill ? That's not why I'm doing it.
04/13/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Actually, for me (as the girl) it's the opposite. I even insisted that when my guy first moved in with me, he didn't have to work right away, but he enjoyed staying at home gaming and playing with the cats, so I told him don't bother going to work, just keep the house clean(ish) and I'd work. I not only have no issue with paying for dates, I prefer it. I don't mind being the financial person, because I did the school-degree thing, so as long as he takes care of me in other ways, I'm happy.
04/13/2012
Contributor: schtiel schtiel
I think it's a bit old fashioned and impolite to assume that the guy will always pay for you. Not everybody is always in the financial situation to be able to pay, but that doesn't make them a person not worth dating. If he's making it a point to not pay so that he can mooch, that's a different story though.

I always operate under the general process that the person who invites the other out to a place requiring money (dinner, a movie, etc) will be the one paying unless you've agreed earlier to go dutch on things. I think it's just fair that way. Relationships are a two way street.

If money is an issue, why don't you try doing things together that don't require it? Just going out and taking a walk together, things like that.
04/13/2012