So, back story. I've been seeing this guy for about a month now. We met on an online dating site. Talked for a couple of weeks casually. We decided to meet up for dinner. Still strictly friendly, even though we referred to it as a 'first date' later on. It was apparent we connected on an intellectual level. Sure enough, we connected crazily on a physical level later in the evening. (Fast, I know.) Since then we've been hanging out on a regular basis. He usually ends up spending the night even though he expressed reservations about sleeping with me again (emotional reasons on his part). Sure enough, it happened a few other times. We've expressed romantic interest and strong feelings for each other. We've given each other a lot of support during rough times. He says he values me so much that he wants me in his life for a long time. Spending time together and communicating often is a priority. We're physically affectionate. All that stuff . . . but we're not 'dating' he says.
This is what got me to thinking. Where are the lines between "friendship", "dating", "a relationship", and something "serious"? I mean, does anything about the interactions between the two of you or the feelings you have for the other person change regardless of what you call it? I brought up the idea of being "together" to him and he got totally freaked out about it and said he wasn't even ready to "date" anyone and wouldn't be for a long time, and that a "relationship" with someone is really far off in the future. Why do we have the need to label these things? Does it give them some sense of value that they don't have without the title? A sense of security that should already be there without some word attached to it?
And also, what about this whole "love" thing? Where does that come into play? How do you know when you're falling in love, in it, or out of it and where are the lines drawn? Why should you wait so long for someone to tell them how you feel if you believe it to be true? Why does it freak people out so much? Why is it defined so differently in a romantic sense, almost like it's a ball and chain or a trap, but it's not that way at all with family members or friends?
I've just come to realize that there's no black and white to any of this. It's all grey area that can't really be defined. People take these simple words way too seriously.
I'd love to hear everyone else's opinions on this. I'm trying to gather other opinions and views on it at the moment so I can understand it all.
This is what got me to thinking. Where are the lines between "friendship", "dating", "a relationship", and something "serious"? I mean, does anything about the interactions between the two of you or the feelings you have for the other person change regardless of what you call it? I brought up the idea of being "together" to him and he got totally freaked out about it and said he wasn't even ready to "date" anyone and wouldn't be for a long time, and that a "relationship" with someone is really far off in the future. Why do we have the need to label these things? Does it give them some sense of value that they don't have without the title? A sense of security that should already be there without some word attached to it?
And also, what about this whole "love" thing? Where does that come into play? How do you know when you're falling in love, in it, or out of it and where are the lines drawn? Why should you wait so long for someone to tell them how you feel if you believe it to be true? Why does it freak people out so much? Why is it defined so differently in a romantic sense, almost like it's a ball and chain or a trap, but it's not that way at all with family members or friends?
I've just come to realize that there's no black and white to any of this. It's all grey area that can't really be defined. People take these simple words way too seriously.
I'd love to hear everyone else's opinions on this. I'm trying to gather other opinions and views on it at the moment so I can understand it all.
