how soon to meet up?

how soon to meet up?

BluePixi BluePixi
I have just joined a dating website and had several messages that read along the lines 'I like your profile lets meet up' and, while I find this flattering, I don't particularly wish to promise a date before having any kind of discussion first. Don't get me wrong I don't think there needs to be a set time frame, but at least some kind of conversation before trying to convince a girl to meet up with a complete stranger.

Is this normal? has anyone had a similar experience where they felt rushed?
  • Buy 1 Toy, Get 2 FREE
  • Sexy Treats For Her! Gorgeous Gift Set For $60
  • Spoil Him! Luxury Gift Set for Men For $60
  • The Complete Lovers Kit! Expert Couples Gift Set For $60
  • Save 80% on Selected Items. Limited Quantity
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
liilii080 liilii080
Always follow your gut. The nice guys/girls will want to get to know you before rushing to meet you and won't make you feel pressured. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. And if you have a profile pic of yourself up, yes, it's typical. We're visual creatures and some people have just one thing on their mind
toxie m toxie m
When people push hard for an offline meeting it's a huge turn-off for me. Probably one of the biggest turn-offs, really, because it says that they have no respect for your comfort level (and really, what else do you have to go on besides your gut instinct in that kind of scenario). If someone tries to rush you past your instincts, consider NEVER meeting them. That's generally been my rule for online dating (I play it pretty safe). And yeah, it's fairly normal that some people will be that way.

My thinking is that I don't want to just be going out to meet every fellow who looks promising - that's just a time drain and a bit stressful. I'd rather message online until I'm sure there's at least *some* kind of connection. That said, others find that they like to meet in person sooner because it's a more immediate way of finding out if there's real potential there instead of emailing for weeks only to have no spark upon meeting. So, it can go either way. Still, I always err on the side of caution.
TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I've had it go either way. Some people aren't looking to chat for weeks online, they are looking to date in person. If they are looking for a date, go out for coffee with them, see if you connect. Coffee is pretty easy because it can be quick or you can sit there a while depending on how the date is going. I'm not going to fault someone just because they don't want to spend weeks chatting.

If you feel uncomfortable though, state it in your profile. That way any one who contacts you SHOULD know what they are dealing with up front.
Shellz31 Shellz31
I personally prefer to get to know someone online for a little bit before meeting in person. I need to make sure I feel comfortable with them. If they can't deal with that, then they can find someone else.
slynch slynch
We emailed back & forth and talked on the phone for a couple weeks before we met in person.
Jobthingy Jobthingy
I personally do not like to to talk for weeks on end. When I was single, I would chat a few times and if it goes well suggest coffee. It is easy for people to not be themselves behind a computer screen. You get a feel for who that person really is in person.
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Originally posted by BluePixi
I have just joined a dating website and had several messages that read along the lines 'I like your profile lets meet up' and, while I find this flattering, I don't particularly wish to promise a date before having any kind of discussion ...
Follow what you feel about the situation and always meet in a very public place until you get to know more about them.
Rockin' Rockin'
I agree with other posters that it'd be a good idea to put something on your profile about wanting to interact online before meeting. I've seen profiles like this and it's a good way to be open about your desires.

Don't meet someone if you feel rushed to do so. Everyone is different, and we all have different expectations about when to meet in person, but you should feel comfortable meeting someone.

If you want to know more about someone, contact them more frequently so the interaction online won't take as long. You could learn the same things in three or five emails back and forth over the course of a week or two or over the course of a month. It's up to you and the other people to decide how often to talk.
jaimijacklin jaimijacklin
If you're uncomfortable then deffinatly don't do it...

On the same token, some of the best dates I've had.. I talked back and forth on IM for about 15min before we decided to meet for a spur of the moment lunch! Just make sure you meet them there, don't let them come see where you live & make sure you're somewhere with lots of other people around.
BadassFatass BadassFatass
I definitely like to get to know people first.
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 11