Long Distance: First Meeting

Long Distance: First Meeting

Chilipepper Chilipepper
I've found a guy I really click with, and - despite promising myself I would never do another online thing again - he lives in England. He's going to visit my area in May and we'll meet to see if we're compatible in person. We both agreed to keep things friendly and to not engage in any sex for our first meeting - we'll just hang out, talk, cruise around, and visit the Space Center. If things work out, I'll be visiting him in England for a few weeks some time later this year where we'll start on the sexual part. (He's already asked for my neck measurement for my collar, so I think he's optimistic.)

I'm really curious as to how others in long-distance relationships had handled/will handle their first meeting. What are your experiences if you had? If you haven't yet, have you talked about when/where/how your first meeting will work out?
03/26/2011
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liilii080 liilii080
I haven't been in this type of long distance relationship so I don't have any good advice from personal experience. I just wanted to say I'm glad you are giving online dating another chance and I really hope everything works out well for you both. And, in general, I'd say be open minded. My online dating experience showed me that people aren't always 100% truthful in their profile information but that doesn't mean you won't still click.

Best wishes and keep us informed!
03/26/2011
emtangel emtangel
I have tried the long distant thing with a guy who I had been dating for two years, It was really hard and in the end It did not work. It takes alot of trust and when it comes to needs of the sexual nature it can be very diffuclt living so far away. I wish you all the best in your up comming meeting and I pray it works out for you. =)
03/26/2011
Sir Sir
We planned for a long, long time before meeting each other. We did end up having sex when we first met, but we stayed in a hotel together and got to know each other throughout the day first. We knew how we felt for one another before meeting, and meeting only clarified what we already knew. I will admit, however, our relationship did not work out. Whether that's due to us being long-distance or not, I will not ever know. But something that's very important about long-distance relationships is trust and commitment.

My experiences with all relationships have been quite bad. Long-distance wasn't any different. However, I do hope that this goes well for you, you deserve to have someone who will be good to you in a relationship. Don't let my cynicism get you down - there are some good ones out there, and long-distance relationships CAN work, so long as you both stay trustworthy.
03/26/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
We planned for a long, long time before meeting each other. We did end up having sex when we first met, but we stayed in a hotel together and got to know each other throughout the day first. We knew how we felt for one another before meeting, and ...
Your wisdom means a lot to me, Sir, as this is also my first D/S relationship. I remember the troubles you were having with your Little Girl last year, and I always felt you deserved someone who respected you more.
03/26/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
This is how my guy (a dom) and I first started out. We were dating online for ages. But we rarely can meet (and webcam shows are hard to plan) since I'm a student living in a dorm and he works a 9 to 5 type job. Since I live with my parents over breaks and can't miss school it's impossible for me to visit him, so it's restricted to him visiting me.

We're keeping it going, though, and hopefully after next school year I can get an apartment (meaning he doesn't have to have a hotel when he visits and I could visit over summer without explaining to my parents). Then for graduate/medical I'm going to look at schools in Florida, where he lives. Even if I don't go to one in the same city, I'd at least like to live close enough to make a weekend visit possible.

I'd say it works if you both can handle it. Only major problem we've had with it was when a guy kinda threw himself on me (I was upset my guy wasn't here to comfort me/keep it from happening, he was upset because he didn't have any way to control it). But we got through it.

I'd say be optimistic. Our first meeting was definitely awkward, but we did have sex (he was here for like a full week, and this came after several cam sessions/photos) and it made the relationship feel much more real.

Good luck!
03/27/2011
sexygoddess sexygoddess
I tried the long distance thing.. so far it's worked out for me! I moved up to Seattle just this week after going out for a year. Knew him for slightly longer then that. I remember our first meeting.. I came over here to see him. I was soooo nervous.
1. I never really flew before..
2. I'm always nervous meeting new people.

I made sure everyone knew where I was and we even hada secret code thing.. just in case he turned out to be a creep. But, luckily for me he was/is a perfect gentleman. After that first meeting we completly fell for each other. I would come visit him every month or he'd come see me. I met his family on my first trip here lol. And we all get along. In between visits we would do the whole cam thing.. we'd also play online games like World of Warcraft. It gave us something to do together He would always surprise me with flowers.
03/27/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
I appreciate you guys sharing your experiences. It's helping to put things into perspective.
03/27/2011
Evenlei Evenlei
I'm currently dating a guy long distance. It's difficult sometimes because of the distance. We both, however, are really determined to work through this because of how compatible we feel we are. I won't get to see him for a while as we want to make sure we can survive this distance thing first, and I'm okay with that. So in maybe half a year or so he is planning to fly over here for us to meet finally. I'm incredibly nervous as I've never done this online dating thing, and neither has he.



The good thing is, we are both in creative fields so we are able to relate and give each other space for work. He has been planning on trying to come to my country before we met so it works out that if all goes well, he will try to get a VISA and such after we both complete college.



I feel like I agreed with what most have posted already. If you can trust each other and have the needed commitment, things will go far. As for the meet up, just take a deep breathe and be yourself. I'm very excited for me and my boy, I know we can stick together and fix it.



Best wishes with your relationship/meet! I hope it goes well! <3
03/31/2011
Callisto Callisto
I'd like to know how it went. I'm seeing my guy next month (hopefully) and our relationship is a lot like sexygoddess'.

Before we were officially dating he got me flowers for valentines day and a cuddly bear.
08/09/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Thank you for reminding me of this thread, kittygalore. I never did a follow up. Although, as most have guessed, he's the same person I refer to as my 'Master'.

We had our meeting at last and spent a long weekend getting to know each other - he stayed at a hotel and I'd visit during the day and drive us around to different places and such.

Meeting in person really sealed it. We both felt a much deeper connection when we met and interacted together. (And he certainly was the best kisser I've ever had ... he kissed exactly the way I like without me saying anything about it.) But despite our best efforts, we did end up in bed and going at it. We left the D/s element out and just enjoyed each other.

So, yes, this has turned out better than I had hoped for. We talk on the phone once a week and email the rest of the time. He's willing to wait for me to finish up college and neither of us are in any hurry to push it anywhere (neither of us want children, either). I can honestly say this is the first adult relationship I've had. I don't have that 'desperation' I felt before ... this feels comforting and safe and stable.

He sent me a 'clockwork' heart necklace for my birthday (since I like steampunk) and I just finished knitting him a warm scarf for his birthday in September (since it's cold in England at that time). And he's saving his vacation time to spend Christmas of 2012 here with me.

Yes, he's been totally worth breaking my 'no online relationship' rule.
08/09/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Thank you for reminding me of this thread, kittygalore. I never did a follow up. Although, as most have guessed, he's the same person I refer to as my 'Master'.

We had our meeting at last and spent a long weekend getting to know ...
This is adorable. That's all I have to say, the rest of my reaction was bouncing in happiness around the kitchen. I'm so excited for yooooou!
08/09/2011
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 8