Second chances after cheating?

I answered that it depends on the circumstances, but I'd rather not explain my answer, other than to say it's complicated.

I gave too many second chances to exes. I'm not doing that again.

It depends on alot of different things....I think !!!

I said "yes" only because I did. Not everyone will be as forgiving as I am. I knew I should forgive her or else her life would have fallen apart had she left me for him. As much as I hated what she did, I didn't want to see her life destroyed. However, we are all different, and if the pain will be too great, then don't try to put yourself threw it. It would be better to move on then try to make yourself love someone you don't want to.

My ex cheated on me, but I only found out after the divorce. He told me he wanted a separation to work on his own issues, and while I gave him space, he found a new girl and ended our marriage completely. That was sadly par for the course with him apparently: he cheated on me when we were dating (because I was a virgin and very unsure about losing it. I thought he was a prince for how patient he was with me, but apparently he was getting plenty of sex when I wasn't around), he cheated on my while we were engaged, and he cheated on me while we were married. We weren't married long, and it had been more of a courthouse deal... several of his friends didn't even know we were engaged. He had taken in a homeless teen during the end of our engagement, and had been cheating on me with her (again, while I was thinking he was being noble - he told me the whole time that she was just like his little sister, and sometimes called her his daughter), and had told his friends that he and I were "on a break".

I told him from the get-go that cheating was my deal-breaker, and he tried to keep me from finding out. But all I can do is thank God that I didn't have children with that scumbag. So, any cheating is never going to be forgiven in my book. Ever.

My first inclination is to say NO second chances. And for a long time that was always my answer to this question. However, 10 years and two kids later with the same person, I'd have to think long and hard about the situation to decide and it would really just depend on everything that happened.

Trust would be gone though and I don't think that it would ever be fully restored. If there were to be a second chance, he would have to be prepared to live with the constantly questioning, untrusting "monster" he created and really want to make it work.

Cheating is like stabbing me in my back.. I will never forget or forgive. I can be 100% sure that my wife will not cheating me.

I don't think I could give someone a second chance for it.

wow, some pretty judgy answers, not going to lie. BBW is right. cheating is not all black and white. if i put a hell of lot of time and love into a relationship, chances are I'm not just going to throw it out because of a moment of weakness. there's a lot of reasons for people cheating and honestly, it really depends on the situation.

unless they wanted to leave me, then I wouldn't give up. If cheating became a continual thing, then I'd probably walk out. but we are human, and we do make mistakes. especially big ones.

To me, it's black and white. If you don't respect me and our relationship enough to control where you put your dick or what goes into your vagina, I no longer respect you, your feelings, your body or anything about you.

Like, I get that some people are in abusive relationships where they fear that they'll be murdered if they leave the person, and they aren't happy, and that's ok in those circumstances...but I've never mistreated anyone so if someone did that to me, I'd wish them dead.

I don't think I'd be able to continue a relationship after being cheated on. It would ruin the trust between us. Even if there was something else tying us together (finances, kids, etc.), I don't think I'd be able to continue the romantic/sexual part of the relationship. I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing so and constantly wondering whether they were cheating again.

I respect myself too much to be around that sort of poison.

It would depend on their answer.

In the past, I have given second chances after cheating. I wouldn't again.

I think I could forgive but there's no way I could forget. It would always be in my mind. Everybody makes mistakes...but I wouldn't be able to let it go. And I could see myself not trusting that person and perhaps even trying to punish them for what they did...which is not an attractive quality. But that's just how I am.

I have a really hard time with cheating. I've been cheated on a few times and I don't have a lot of patience for it, however I am willing to forgive sometimes. I guess it all depends on the circumstances and how much I'm willing to trust the person again. It's hard to give a blanket yes or no.

Peggi and Devy, can you please explain why you feel that it is ok to cheat if you are the victim of domestic violence?

It depends.....that's a tough call....

I'm not a great person for forgiving or forgetting things so I can't imagine ever being able to get on with things after that.

It depends on the circumstances and the dynamic.

absolutely do not take them back. it makes them think it was ok and they'll do it again

I could never continue in a serious relationship after they cheated. The trust would be broken for me, and I'd always worry about them cheating again in the back of my mind. People also often cheat again, getting forgiven already makes it less serious of an offense (in their mind) the next time they do it. It's like children do as they grow up, they test how far they can push the other person with their actions, and never forget exactly what they can get away with.