My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. Recently it's become harder to get her turned on before sex and we have to resort to lubricants and such. It doesn't give her as good of orgasms and she's simply just not wanting sex anymore because its not as fun for her. I'm at a loss for what to do because I feel like I've tried everything. I have a feeling part of it is due to her recent weight gain and drop of self-confidence level, but I can't find a way to tell her she's beautiful and I love her the way she is without her dismissing it. Does anyone have suggestions for what I can do? What has worked for you in a situation like this? Please help! Thanks!
Advice needed! Help please!!!!
10/01/2011
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A couple of things that might help are; change the lighting in the bedroom, and take a bit more time in foreplay and games. If you normally have the lights on while you engage in sex, consider reducing the lighting a bit. This might help her feel a bit better about her self.
Also, take a little longer with the foreplay, or games. Start earlier in the day or evening, be a bit more attentive adn relaxed, but still a bit playful. Take your time, and don't try to rush it.
I hope that this helps. It will probably take a bit of time to get through this, so just bear with her. She is having a confidence issue, as you noted, so she doesn't feel good about herself right now. Take it easy with her, and she will come back around in time.
Also, take a little longer with the foreplay, or games. Start earlier in the day or evening, be a bit more attentive adn relaxed, but still a bit playful. Take your time, and don't try to rush it.
I hope that this helps. It will probably take a bit of time to get through this, so just bear with her. She is having a confidence issue, as you noted, so she doesn't feel good about herself right now. Take it easy with her, and she will come back around in time.
10/01/2011
Firstly I would suggest a general physical at the doctor's. A check of hormone levels, and just a general health check to make sure everything is in good order. Hormonal imbalances, etc. can cause your libido to take a MAJOR hit. She should mention the drop in libido to the doctor as well. Physical causes should be ruled out first, then you can move on from there. Best wishes!
10/01/2011
I agree with both of those responses. Also, stress levels can change sexual activity. I know that during times where I was switching jobs to something more stressful or exhausting I just didn't feel like having sex and couldn't be turned on. It also could be issues with her libido.
10/02/2011
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Unique posters: 4