The New Intimacy

Age and Marriage : Have You Noticed...

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Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish people are almost surprised to hear they're getting married because they're "so young." If that same couple was dating only 2 or 3 years but they're 27-28ish people start to expect a ring.
Am I crazy? It's just something I've been seeing lately and I'm wondering if anyone else has. Do you think this is fair?
06/09/2012
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Contributor: ghalik ghalik
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish ... more
I've seen that too. I know a couple who were engaged for 3.5 years but were only 21 when they got married and everyone was rather shocked. But they're still married 8 years later, so...
06/09/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish ... more
I've never observed this. I don't see it as fair but that's just me...
06/09/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I definitely noticed it when my hubby and I got together. I was 28 and he was 32--everyone kept after us and it was seriously annoying. I told them we were never marrying-shut them up for awhile. Of course, we did kind of come back from our vacation married, but well, then we had a huge barbeque and they got over the idea of not being told. It was our second marriage for both of us and we did not need the fanfare. It was so much more special for both of us.
06/10/2012
Contributor: indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish ... more
i think that while it could be send as hypocritical that it is fair. I am 23 and have NO idea who I really am or what I want to be or where I see my life going and I'm in grad school with some sense of direction. I think that when people are more established in who they are that marriage to someone else who also knows who they are is logical. however to get married to someone else when one/neither of you has any idea where your life is going, how you are going to get there or what you want to do with your time on this earth that it is not your time to get married (no matter what your age) however the biggest group of people who fit this are those who are young.

Also if you are still on your parents health care, if your parents are still paying your bills and if you are not old enough to actually drink at your wedding you are TOO YOUNG to get married.
06/10/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Society is strange isn't it? And then after marriage, many times they start hounding you about when you're going to have kids. I would prefer people to just be content with where others are at in their lives... but I suppose that will never happen. People will always pester you about "that next step" in your life.

Most of those people fall into 1 of 2 camps in my experience. 1 - they're just super nosy/controlling and can't keep themselves out of other people's business or 2 - they are either married & have kids, and are so happy they want you to have the same happiness they have.

If only people could accept that happiness is different for everyone. Oh well!
06/10/2012
Contributor: sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish ... more
I have noticed! People think you can't get married until you're in your 30's I'm 19 and am getting married in 2 months(we've been dating for over 3 years)
People aren't surprised since we have made it obvious that we planned on getting married, but everyone says "You are so young."

Meanwhile I am thinking -people used to get married way younger then that not THAT long ago.
06/10/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Bex1331
Has anyone else noticed a correlation between the age of a couple and how long they are together before people start pressuring them to settle down and get married? For example a couple who has been dating for four years and they're 21-22ish ... more
That's me and my partner! I am 22 and he's 25 and people are always on us and have been for years. We chose to wait until we finished college to marry and everyone wants to know when that'll happen and then it's "when are ya'll ever gonna have kids?!" WTF! We have 4 kids that aren't biologically ours, but are still ours, yet everyone wonders why on earth we don't have our own. I just wanna scream "I CAN'T GIVE BIRTH YOU MORON!" Lol.

Yes, there's a lot of pressure, but I'm proud of us for choosing to follow the career path and still be together, but put marriage off.
06/10/2012
Contributor: phoenixfiress phoenixfiress
I have seen it as well but I have also been on the receiving end of the chiding for being to young yet my husband and I have known each other for 11 years and dated at least 5 of them. we are 22,23 and still we are to young for marriage. I don't think it is fair, I believe anyone should have the right as long as your of legal age to make your own decision on how long your engaged for.
06/10/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
My fiance and I are finally getting married after 6 years. I was 18 and he was 22 when we met. I think anyone who is together less than 4 years is rushing things from my point of view.
06/10/2012