The New Intimacy

anger over others actions

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Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Im courious if anyone has ever held things in that later on spilled over to your SO to the point that you fight overthe littlest things becausethe big issues seem to wanna be simmerd down.

I got angry because women are all over my fiancee we have an open relationship with the expressed mutual agreement that no one is allowed to touch either one of us with out the others permission. So i pushed it down because it was an issue but not ahuge major issue that wasnt handled just courious if anyone else does this or has and how they worked threw it?
07/15/2011
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
What do you mean by touch? Are we talking about touch in the sense of play-slapping during conversation or brushes with the hand on your fiance's arm? Or are we talking about kissing cheeks, lips, necks?

I think if it's the first you should probably prepare yourself to be angry a lot. It's very difficult to control the actions of others especially those that talk with their hands or are touchy-feely in general.

Has your fiance expressed that he may not know how to politely tell someone to keep their hands to themselves?
07/15/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I'm not in an open relationship, but I do understand what you mean. I've done the same and do it sometimes still. I'll get stressed and assume it's best to leave it all in so I don't disturb or bug anyone and later ends up coming out with something small setting me off. I try not to do it, but I have my moments.
07/18/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
Sorry about the disgusting analogy, but this is how my doctor explained it to me after my car wreck. A pimple starts with a small clogged pore and the poison builds up bit by bit each day until finally you have a huge angry red boil. The only way to fully get rid of the boil is to lance it, which will leave a scar. Every time you leave a scar, it builds up until finally there is no healthy living tissue remaining. The only way to stop the cycle is to get a complete and honest cleansing.

Okay, basically you really need to figure out where the anger/jealousy/insecur ity is coming from. Honestly deal with it (if you lie to yourself the boil will still be there). Then you and your LTR need to respectfully and honestly talk out your issues and come to an acceptable solution for both of you. Good luck and hope this helped! (I write out my little problems in a journal, put it away for a day or two and when I feel I have dealt with my issue I celebrate by burning the page.)
07/18/2011