The New Intimacy

Crying in bed.

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Contributor: Katie Douglas Katie Douglas
There have been a few times that I cry kind of during sex. Usually my husband wants to prolong the sensation. I love the back rubs the leg rubs, an the sensual play. We even wrestle naked sometimes, almost like a sexual warm up. It always turns me on to a point where I'm frustrated. When we finally get to it he does his thing the way he likes it; slow, fast, hard, and soft. Kind of like singing Strokin' by Clarence Carter. Most of the moaning isn't quite at capacity. It's not like I'm faking it really its just not what I like. He gets in those moods where he likes to tease me in order to give me more pleasure and to give himself more pleasure. After a while I finally have that 'ping' go off in my body. Now I'm really enjoying myself, I'm telling him don't stop, keep going and so on. Wouldn't you know it, he stops and decides to change positions. This is where I cry and get angry and then apologize profusely. Im curious if anyone else has this frustration with their partner. I like teasing and foreplay, but don't mess with a girl whose on the verge on exploding!

opinions please
07/10/2013
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Contributor: Fluke Fluke
This is the downside of embellishing or faking orgasms/moaning. Either he thinks he is doing it right when he isn't or he thinks you are faking it so he will just do whatever he wants.

When a woman says don't stop, keep going I don't take that as literally don't stop. I take it as sounds she just makes when she is getting into it. He could also be changing positions because he is about to lose control and needs to slow down.

You can try being on top that way you'll be in full control. Or you can be more assertive and explicitly say what you need. Think or it like your man is blindfolded and you have to guide him through a maze. Go left here, speed up, stop, etc.
07/10/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
"Now I'm really enjoying myself, I'm telling him don't stop, keep going and so on. Wouldn't you know it, he stops and decides to change positions."

I hear you and understand when you say this and have cried myself and I've never faked it especially with my very longterm partner. I've gotten so frustrated I've just got up and left especially since he always gets his fun first.

Discussion I found and clearly explaining your needs outside the bedroom is warranted in this case and the only thing that has worked for us. It sounds like you're communicating to him during your time what your needs are but a clearer definition and explanation of the cause and effect of his actions might help him to understand your frustration.

Try this time old trusted formula, it works in all aspects of my life, business, personal and casual:

When you do ________ I feel ________ .

This will open the discussion where you can both offer alternatives and other suggestions and ideas. Again, I would keep the discussion outside the bedroom and prior to intimacy. Our bedroom is our safe haven away from it all, a place we can securely nest and relax with one another.

Hope this helps.....
07/12/2013