Do you believe cohabitation is a necessary step in a relationship ? And how long would you wait ?

Do you believe cohabitation is a necessary step in a relationship ? And how long would you wait ?

subwayrailings subwayrailings
My ex believed couples should live together as soon as possible, i've never yet lived with a lover. i can't imagine it being something i'm ready for before at least a year with a person, to be sure it isn't a move of loneliness.
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ValerieRayne ValerieRayne
I think it's really individual for each person and each relationship. I've had relationships where we moved in together before we were even technically dating and I've had relationships where we were together for quite awhile before moving in together.

I guess it also depends on how seriously you take the relationship. I think if you're ever planning on getting married to the person you're with, you should live with them for awhile first - because you never know a person as well as you could until you live with them for awhile.
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Depends on the relationship. If you want to get married, it makes sense to live with them for a few months and make sure that you can agree on the minor stuff like grocery shopping
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I personally would want to live with that person eventually. The when depends..
Talena Talena
I don't think its necessary but I do think it helps you get to truly know a person and their daily quirks.
nova2014 nova2014
I think it's a necessary step but not until you're ready, which is either when you're thinking of getting married or 1-2 years into the relationship, especially if you sleepover at each others place all the time anyways
Munko Munko
I do think so.

My partner and I moved in together quite quickly - we'd been together only a month. Luckily it worked out well for us and we're still going strong 8 years later.

That said, if I had to do it all over again, I'd wait a bit longer, maybe a year or two. I feel it killed a bit of that "honeymoon" feeling you have in the beginning and a lot of that wooing stage you get in the beginning. No need to work to woo the other person when they're in the same room as you all the time, you know? Not to say it was all bad, not by anymeans, I just feel we cut short the fun, giddy part of the relationship and skipped right into comfortable.
peachmarie peachmarie
After living with my current boyfriend I think I would always choose to live with someone before committing on a marriage. Like everyone is saying, there's only so much you can learn about a person without living with them. I'm going to share a story to prove that, It's four thirty in the morning and I'm up getting ready for work, my boyfriend is sleeping in the bedroom when all of the sudden he let's out the longest, loudest fart I have ever heard, laughs, turns over and continues sleeping. I was so surprised I laughed and then recanted the story to him that night where he had the grace to look a little embarrassed but laughed and said "sounds about right". If that isn't seeing someone in their natural unguarded state I don't know what is.
evie.amor evie.amor
I agree that it depends on the relationship. If you can tell its "serious" right off the bat, I'd wait 6 months to a year. It's absolutely a necessary step in any long-term relationship that might lead to marriage. (unless it's just something you never plan on doing).
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
I don't think it's necessary, but I know that I am happy I live with my man. We were together a while before we moved in together, as it should be, because living together kinda kills the honey-moon phase of a new relationship.

I think it's best to date a little while at least before you live together because then you learn to function as individuals in the relationship. I've noticed that often times my friends who are on the younger side move in quickly with their partners, and then become pretty co-dependent on one another. Now, this isn't true for everyone, it's totally a case by case basis, but moving in together too quickly can kill a good thing.

Life is a lot different when you pick up dirty underwear, wash dishes, and deal with the way you lover tends to leave their wet towel on the floor. I am so happy I know exactly what life will be like when I get married because I have lived with my man over eight months now and I've learned all of the things he does that drives me nuts, and I still love him despite it.

Does this mean cohabitation is right for everyone, every relationship? Nah. In fact, some of the research shows that cohabitation without intent to marry can lead to commitment problems because you are getting all the benefits without the commitment. So there is pros and cons. I think you should do what is best for you and who you are with and follow your heart. That's always my stance on this issue.
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 10