Do you feel guilty masturbating or watching porn in a long term relationship?

Do you feel guilty masturbating or watching porn in a long term relationship?

MrClark MrClark
I'm curious if anyone feels guilty if they masturbate or watch porn when their partner isn't around while in a long term relationship? I'm kind of torn as in some ways I feel like I'm cheating on my partner or that somehow it's an insult to them that I chose to masturbate vs wait to have sex with them. Just curious what other folks think.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
3  (9%)
23  (68%)
6  (18%)
2  (6%)
Total votes: 34
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05/24/2016
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CharlotteNicole CharlotteNicole
Self love can be an important part of any healthy relationship. As long as you aren't spending all of your sexual energy on yourself and you are sure to save some for your partner as well, I don't think that there is anything to be ashamed of or guilty about.
05/24/2016
MrClark MrClark
Quote:
Originally posted by CharlotteNicole
Self love can be an important part of any healthy relationship. As long as you aren't spending all of your sexual energy on yourself and you are sure to save some for your partner as well, I don't think that there is anything to be ashamed of ...
Thanks for the reply, I agree. Just sometimes have these passing thoughts and nice to hear others chime in about them I sometimes think it would be nice to have some erotic home videos of me & my SO to watch so I wouldn't use videos/porn of other women when I masturbated.

But definitely agree, if you are taking sexual energy away from your partner there will be trouble
05/24/2016
PolyLove PolyLove
I feel like masturbation can help your sex life in a long-term relationship. How else are you going to find new things you like or new tricks you can show your partner?
05/25/2016
MrClark MrClark
Quote:
Originally posted by PolyLove
I feel like masturbation can help your sex life in a long-term relationship. How else are you going to find new things you like or new tricks you can show your partner?
I agree, honestly my girlfriend hadn't done anything sexual until we started dating. I've been trying to encourage her to explore more in a solo fashion to find out what excites her, so I can learn from what she does to maximize her experiences.

Even signed up for an account with OMGYES to give her ideas of different things to try and experiment with. In the mean time I keep trying new things in bed and get feedback from her as we go.
05/25/2016
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by CharlotteNicole
Self love can be an important part of any healthy relationship. As long as you aren't spending all of your sexual energy on yourself and you are sure to save some for your partner as well, I don't think that there is anything to be ashamed of ...
Agreed. In moderation and when needed. Like when SO is away for an extended amt of time.
05/25/2016
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by PolyLove
I feel like masturbation can help your sex life in a long-term relationship. How else are you going to find new things you like or new tricks you can show your partner?
Very true. Yes indeed. And sometimes learn tricks from reading reviews and comments here on EF.
05/25/2016
PolyLove PolyLove
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Very true. Yes indeed. And sometimes learn tricks from reading reviews and comments here on EF.
Ooooh boy, do I learn tricks from reviews. Lol. I love reading reviews to see how other people are using toys and such.
05/25/2016
MrClark MrClark
Quote:
Originally posted by PolyLove
Ooooh boy, do I learn tricks from reviews. Lol. I love reading reviews to see how other people are using toys and such.
People are inventive and sometimes the workarounds or non-conventional uses for things are better than what they are designed for. Definitely agree fun to read reviews, forums, etc to see what I can learn from others.
05/25/2016
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by MrClark
People are inventive and sometimes the workarounds or non-conventional uses for things are better than what they are designed for. Definitely agree fun to read reviews, forums, etc to see what I can learn from others.
Not only learn from others, but learn not the only ones doing certain "kinks".
Or there are so many others also enjoying certain things/methods.
05/27/2016
Andykh Andykh
I agree with all the above answers and comments. If ur feeling that urge do what needs to be done but like several have said don't abuse it and not fulfill ur SO's wants needs etc. It also applies to the SO as well.
05/28/2016
Vnessa Vnessa
I never feel guilty. It's my husband's face and body I'm picturing as I'm pleasuring myself. It's just a little warm up to get me all wound up for him later
05/29/2016
Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by MrClark
I'm curious if anyone feels guilty if they masturbate or watch porn when their partner isn't around while in a long term relationship? I'm kind of torn as in some ways I feel like I'm cheating on my partner or that somehow it's an ...
It depends on your relationship. If they're okay with you masturbating, it's fine. It may make things easier for you if you ask them if it's okay in general, or perhaps try a text message before you masturbate asking if it's okay for you to do that time. In most relationships it shouldn't be an issue, however submissives are likely to need consent, and some people may worry that it means they're not doing well enough meeting their partners needs/desires.
06/01/2016
Inquisitor Inquisitor
I'm in the "Kind of" camp and by the way, it's lonely in here. Here's why, my partner can be what seems to me hot one day and cold the next. One day, we are exchanging dirty talking text messages and the next day could be nothing at all. Now, believe me, I understand the daily stresses of job, family, and other interpersonal relationships and what not but, I would think that if you wanted intimacy with your partner one day, there would be little to dissuade you from getting it if not that night/day then the next.

It always seems like I'll get shot down at least 10 or 11 consecutive days/nights in a row and that's when I'll take matters into my own hands, no pun intended. After a while, you just get tired of getting turned down. It is these times I don't feel in the least bit "guilty" for taking control of my sex life.

Then there are other times when I literally have either just finished or it is the next day when the partner wants a little "affection" and I'm not as sensitive as I would have been if I had "waited". Then I feel a little guilty.
06/01/2016
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
When I was younger I traveled a lot and had a much higher sex drive than my wife - in spite of the fact that I am 11 years older. The result was that masturbated a lot - but I didn't feel guilty about it, it was kind of necessary to maintain my sanity.

Fast forward 25+ years. The good news is that my wife's sex drive has blossomed - the bad news is that I have a really hard time climaxing. So I try to avoid masturbation so that I can build up the anticipation and climax while having sex with my wife. There are times that I do masturbate now - but they are pretty rare. Feel guilty - well yes a little.
06/08/2016
The Awkword Lover The Awkword Lover
Quote:
Originally posted by MrClark
I'm curious if anyone feels guilty if they masturbate or watch porn when their partner isn't around while in a long term relationship? I'm kind of torn as in some ways I feel like I'm cheating on my partner or that somehow it's an ...
Sometimes, we just masturbate together instead of having sex. Some days we just want/need different things, so it's a nice way to both get what we want while still being together.

When apart, still no. He does his thing, I do mine, and we still play together!
06/23/2016
SexyRex SexyRex
Quote:
Originally posted by MrClark
I'm curious if anyone feels guilty if they masturbate or watch porn when their partner isn't around while in a long term relationship? I'm kind of torn as in some ways I feel like I'm cheating on my partner or that somehow it's an ...
I don't know what I would do without it. I have a high sex drive and my wife has a very low one - most months we don't have sex, and when we do it takes a lot of massaging/cajoling to get her in the mood.

I love my wife - and love the fact that she's my best friend forever.

But we're in our early 40's, fit and still it's only 6-8 times per year.

At the expense of being blunt - in order form me to be a faithful & monogamous husband and father, I need to do this.
09/03/2016
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyRex
I don't know what I would do without it. I have a high sex drive and my wife has a very low one - most months we don't have sex, and when we do it takes a lot of massaging/cajoling to get her in the mood.

I love my wife - and love ...
Hey, no judgement here Sexy Rex! I completely understand. Btw, have you ever seen the movie Empire Records?
09/06/2016
symbiasin symbiasin
Mr. Clark, why don't you express those concerns to you're partner and see if it is ok or if there is a slight felt?
09/06/2016
Flight Flight
We watch together
09/09/2016
Sugarfina Sugarfina
Quote:
Originally posted by MrClark
I'm curious if anyone feels guilty if they masturbate or watch porn when their partner isn't around while in a long term relationship? I'm kind of torn as in some ways I feel like I'm cheating on my partner or that somehow it's an ...
I do, especially because I am extremely against porn. I have many political views about the sex industry, as a whole, being greatly misogynistic and violent towards women. So I feel guilty whenever I watch it, regardless of why. Which in turn means, that I rarely do.
09/16/2016
SexyRex SexyRex
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Hey, no judgement here Sexy Rex! I completely understand. Btw, have you ever seen the movie Empire Records?
I have not seen it -
10/02/2016
SexyRex SexyRex
Quote:
Originally posted by Sugarfina
I do, especially because I am extremely against porn. I have many political views about the sex industry, as a whole, being greatly misogynistic and violent towards women. So I feel guilty whenever I watch it, regardless of why. Which in turn means, ...
I hear that - and you're not wrong. at first I restricted my viewing to female directors, then moved on to strictly sensual Femdom so it's the men getting dominated on the women's terms. What I watch is worshiping women - allows me to be monogamous and faithful (borderline celibate) without paying for content which abuses women (yes - I pay, they work and deserve compensation).
10/02/2016
wist wist
What you feel is always valid, but you should know there's nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself while you have a partner. Furthermore watching porn or playing with toys is not being unfaithful. If your partner is suggesting it is, I'd be concerned about this kind of controlling behaviour.
12/27/2016
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 15