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Yes, and that is probably part of the cycle of garbage that comes with men and women. Men want to have sex for all the reasons you said, women don't want to for all the reasons you said, and both end up frustrated because he's wanting it and she's turning him down and he feels rejected and she feels used. Then if they try to "just do it" he senses her lackluster efforts and gets discouraged and loses his interest so then he feels inadequate and she feels guilty...
Originally posted by
indiglo
Honestly, I don't think it's a great idea to stop having sex for an extended period of time. If we go several days we start irritating each other, and I start to feel very disconnected and just "off". If one of us is sick/hurt/in
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Honestly, I don't think it's a great idea to stop having sex for an extended period of time. If we go several days we start irritating each other, and I start to feel very disconnected and just "off". If one of us is sick/hurt/in pain, or too tired we won't do it. We also don't take it personally if the other person can't due to sickness or exhaustion. But we make sure to talk about it and make it clear that the mind is willing and able, it's just the body that isn't up to par at that particular time.
Not too long ago I had some serious issues with a family member's health, and I felt guilty about being with my sweetie (getting pleasure while my family member was in the ICU seemed so selfish). We talked about it a lot though, and he helped me realize I wasn't hurting my family member or being selfish, I was just taking care of myself so I could continue taking care of my family member. And after a couple of days we did have sex because I really needed to feel that closeness again and feel safe - it was a wonderful release of stress and after an amazing orgasm I had a good cry and slept like a log. Sometimes under stress just reconnecting on that level is the best thing you can do. You can just get all those bad feelings out of you.
Agree with BBW too - in times of stress many men want more sex (to relieve stress, feel loved and nurtured, etc.) while many women want less sex (too stressed to relax enough, etc.). In long term relationships it's all about give and take - if you take care of your partner, they're happier to take care of you. less
Not too long ago I had some serious issues with a family member's health, and I felt guilty about being with my sweetie (getting pleasure while my family member was in the ICU seemed so selfish). We talked about it a lot though, and he helped me realize I wasn't hurting my family member or being selfish, I was just taking care of myself so I could continue taking care of my family member. And after a couple of days we did have sex because I really needed to feel that closeness again and feel safe - it was a wonderful release of stress and after an amazing orgasm I had a good cry and slept like a log. Sometimes under stress just reconnecting on that level is the best thing you can do. You can just get all those bad feelings out of you.
Agree with BBW too - in times of stress many men want more sex (to relieve stress, feel loved and nurtured, etc.) while many women want less sex (too stressed to relax enough, etc.). In long term relationships it's all about give and take - if you take care of your partner, they're happier to take care of you. less
Oh, is that just us?
Nevermind.