Getting family members to accept the long-distance relationship...

I don't have any advice for you because I quite agree with your parents. I don't think long distance relationships work and I don't think that online relationships work. You can say anything and be anything when you are online and the reality is often very, very different.

Honestly, it's not up to you to make them understand. It's up to them to want to understand because they are your parents and they love you. As long as you are happy, it shouldn't matter where either of you are located. less

I had the same problem with my father when I got together online with Master. My mother, fortunately, was keeping an open mind, but my father did not understand how I could be involved with yet another online guy (my ex-husband was from online) and one that lived in another country across the Pond. "What kind of relationship is that??"

So, Master and I agreed to let my parents meet him on the "first date" when he visited the US. We all had lunch together. By the end of lunch my dad was talking and bonding with him because they had a lot in common. I know how weird it is when you have to bring your parents along on a first date, but - in my case - it thoroughly helped my parents understand what I was doing and they ended up greatly approving of him.

I think that a lot of people don't understand that we in the LDR's know that a LOT of time and coordination is necessary for anything to blossom. We really aren't in it for the instant gratification of just having someone right there, we're in it for a "long haul" arrangement, and we're willing to find out if it can be done.

All that can be said is let them meet him, and let time show them that you're serious. less

You can say and be anything in person, too. I say that as someone who has dated a man that I met through a friend for years (in person, lived in close proximity, etc) only to find out that he was married the entire time that we were together. I had absolutely no clue that he was, as he was extremely good at covering it up.

Anyway, thanks for your response, I suppose. less

I just realized that may have come across as harsh and that was not my intention. My apologies.

If it works out for you, that's awesome. But the reality of the process is quite different. Most people don't realize that it is practically impossible to get a permanent Visa in the United States after 9/11. Sure, you can get a tourist Visa that lasts for 90 days, but to get a work Visa? That's an entirely different ballgame.

I had a boss who was from another country and it took three rounds of applications over two and a half years to get him approved. We had to have experts weigh in and say that no one in the United States was qualified to do his job because it was his technology and it was state of the art and "new". It cost thousands of dollars and he had to leave the country every three months and show his passport as proof. It was a nightmare and it strained the business relationship, I can't imagine what it would do to a personal relationship.

Becoming a citizen is even more tiring and expensive. And getting into the UK is no walk in the park, either. To be an ex-pat has its own stigmas and regulatory hoops to jump through. less

I just realized that may have come across as harsh and that was not my intention. My apologies.

If it works out for you, that's awesome. But the reality of the process is quite different. Most people don't realize that it is practically impossible to get a permanent Visa in the United States after 9/11. Sure, you can get a tourist Visa that lasts for 90 days, but to get a work Visa? That's an entirely different ballgame.

I had a boss who was from another country and it took three rounds of applications over two and a half years to get him approved. We had to have experts weigh in and say that no one in the United States was qualified to do his job because it was his technology and it was state of the art and "new". It cost thousands of dollars and he had to leave the country every three months and show his passport as proof. It was a nightmare and it strained the business relationship, I can't imagine what it would do to a personal relationship.

Becoming a citizen is even more tiring and expensive. And getting into the UK is no walk in the park, either. To be an ex-pat has its own stigmas and regulatory hoops to jump through. less

About a year ago, I began talking to a man online. He and I quickly connected, and sort of began a bit of an online relationship. A few months back, I flew to the UK to meet him. We got along amazingly well; so well that he is planning to come here for a week soon, and I have already booked a trip to see him in another few months.

I have mentioned to my parents that I have a very good friend in another country that I simply adore. A few weeks ago, I made a comment about how frequently he and I talk -- evidently this got my mother concerned. She asked if I was serious about this man. I told her that yes, I was very serious about him.

Next, she asked about what I wanted in the future.. what I saw happening. I mentioned to her that, at some point in the future, I would like for us to live in the same country. I told her that he has said that he would relocate to the US, and that I would certainly relocate to the UK. I pointed out to her that all of this was in the far off future, and that there would be many more visits (some of them being extended) before we decided to take this step. Of course there's no exact timeline here of when we'd like this to happen; but I would say about a year or two of doing the long distance/visiting thing.. Then, we'd take the plunge and check out fiancee visas and all of that.

Since that time, she and my father have both told me many times that they don't approve at all. Further, that they think it is all ridiculous, and that they can't understand why I'm "wasting my time". At one point, my mother made a comment about how she doesn't fly, so she would absolutely not come to visit me if I were to move to the UK.

Any advice on how to handle all of this?

I realize that he and I have only known each other a very short time (really), and that it would be difficult for either of us to relocate to the others country..but... I do care for him deeply, and genuinely believe that he cares deeply for me, too. It's very difficult when family members just don't approve. less