Happy & Sexy in Long-Term Relationship?

Happy & Sexy in Long-Term Relationship?

Lena Eden Lena Eden
In 2 weeks me and my boyfriend are celebrating our anniversary. Being together makes us both really really happy and it means a great deal to both of us!



So this post is not about choosing a perfect gift for your SO… This time I want to know how to keep your sexual relationship fresh and exciting after 2, 5, 10, 40 years of being together (kids, mortgage and all)?

I’ve listed major issues the long term couples may face. Please check the ones you personally had to deal with and share how you managed to keep the fire going with your SO?

What do you do to stay sexually active?
Do sex toys help?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
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3
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Total votes: 15 (12 voters)
Poll is open
Jul 24, 9:45 am
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AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
You have two different issues in your post. One is differences of appetites and another is keeping things fresh long-term.

For me, emotional connection keeps me wanting him all the time. It's like they say, sex starts in the kitchen. When there are romantic things I'm a part of all the time, I'm more open to stay close physically as well.

I think this also depends on the sexual awareness of the individual. When you're not very open to your own sexuality, you will stagnate in your own mind. Those who are more accepting of their sexuality will be open to more ideas and will keep things spicy.

My hubby has a different appetite than I do so for him, he probably would never get tired of sex even if we only did one thing. Since I've been playing with toys, I'm more open to different things and don't get bored.

I'm continuously in love with my hubby so that helps too.
Jul 27, 3:30 pm
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I come at this from almost 28 years of marriage - but I'm 63. So getting married later in life (35) I had a lot more experience than my then 24 year old wife.

For most of 20 years things were more or less normal i.e. vanilla - although we did use the occasional vibrator.

I wasn't sexually satisfied, but she appeared indifferent. At about 45 - with no obvious input from me, she says she had a 'change of heart'.

Things seem to change almost overnight. Sex become playtime - not time for romance. The rest as they say is history.

Was it my persistence? Input from a friend or friends? Or a completely self-driven desire to 'meet me half-way'? She has declined to say - but she hasn't said no to anything for a long time - and we're thriving.

Bottom line - as AmethystQueen says it starts with love - a love that wants to see the other person happy - even if sometimes it requires you to change.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend - he's a very lucky guy. Starting as a young person who is open and adventurous is a great start. One adage worth keeping in mind - never go to bed angry! Make-up sex can be hot - but the angst isn't good for the long haul.
Jul 28, 12:22 am
Lena Eden Lena Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
You have two different issues in your post. One is differences of appetites and another is keeping things fresh long-term.

For me, emotional connection keeps me wanting him all the time. It's like they say, sex starts in the kitchen. When ...
How long have you been together?

As a lady, I absolutely agree with you that it's the emotional connection that makes things hot and spicy. Being open with each other is the key lasting happiness. Another thing that really raised our relationship to a whole new level were actually sex toys. *Still working on getting him into p-spot massagers*
Jul 28, 5:40 am
Lena Eden Lena Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I come at this from almost 28 years of marriage - but I'm 63. So getting married later in life (35) I had a lot more experience than my then 24 year old wife.

For most of 20 years things were more or less normal i.e. vanilla - although we ...
Thanks a lot for sharing your story and for suggestions.

What about the toys? Were there any specific ones that helped you reveal the new potential?
Jul 28, 5:47 am
AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
How long have you been together?

As a lady, I absolutely agree with you that it's the emotional connection that makes things hot and spicy. Being open with each other is the key lasting happiness. Another thing that really raised our ...
16 years. Yeah I have a whole long list of things I'm still working on getting him into.
Jul 28, 1:30 pm
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
Thanks a lot for sharing your story and for suggestions. What about the toys? Were there any specific ones that helped you reveal the new potential?
The key is 'listening like a laser'. The first clues are body language - what is making her wet, what is bring on the best orgasms, then looking for similar toys, ones that are just a little bigger or stronger to expand options.

Ex. fingering her when using a clit vibe worked much better than the vibe alone. Her comment was 'I need something to squeeze.' Right a way I ordered a rabbit vibe - and for a long time that worked great.

But a rabbit vibe is a compromise. Looking for a larger dildo with a g-spot curve and a stronger clit vibe led to endless combinations of dildos and vibes.

Sometimes she would like a larger dildo/vibe - other times not. So to make sure she would be ready, I found the tapered Tantus Champlett and Champ dildos. Those choices came in handy later when we started to experiment with pegging.

About this time I took a chance on the PureWand. This one was totally different. I researched all of the reviews and printed them out for her to read. Handing her the toy and the reviews I went off on a business trip and told her to figure out how to use it - and teach me. It was a brilliant strategy - she learned to gush with it and things have never been the same!

Once she got to enjoying anal sex - it got to be so important that she have anal stimulation - even when having vaginal sex. That led to finding some good quality silicon anal plugs - and her infamous triple-vibe orgasms; the Lovense vibrating butt plug, Fun Factory Big Boss (orange) vaginally and her favorite wand for clitoral stimulation. Now that's some serious toy activity!!

We've tried dozens of different types of dildos, large, small, hard & soft - but all silicone. She loves the softness of BD dildos - but they tend to have pointy heads. Although she likes the Vixskin Outlaw - it's not quite soft enough for something of that size. This lead us to the Vamp Carina - which is a massive 2.3" x 9" but the softness makes it awesome. The natural shaped bulbous head hits all the interior spots much better than the pointier DB dildos.

As you can see - we're on the large end of the spectrum. But we started with Johnny, moved to the Maverick - each of which had good long runs before moving up to the Outlaw and beyond.

Enjoy the journey and always try new things. Since you're a budding Dom - let me know if you want any info on how we found our way down that road!
Jul 28, 3:34 pm
20yearstogether 20yearstogether
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
In 2 weeks me and my boyfriend are celebrating our anniversary. Being together makes us both really really happy and it means a great deal to both of us!



So this post is not about choosing a perfect gift for your SO… This time I ...
We make sure to keep having fun. As we have gotten older, we are more relaxed with ourselves & each other. Our love also continues to grow.
Aug 16, 11:14 am
SexyBigEars69 SexyBigEars69
A big thing in my relationship is us bring very flirty to each other.
Sep 1, 9:05 am
SexyBigEars69 SexyBigEars69
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
The key is 'listening like a laser'. The first clues are body language - what is making her wet, what is bring on the best orgasms, then looking for similar toys, ones that are just a little bigger or stronger to expand options.

Ex. ...
Oooooh yea. Once she start to enjoy anal stimulation, it'll change her in bed by a great deal~
Sep 1, 9:06 am
TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
We have been together for years but just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It is clear we both have different sexual appetites but enjoy the differences just as much as the similarities.
Sep 3, 8:22 am
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
We have been together for years but just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It is clear we both have different sexual appetites but enjoy the differences just as much as the similarities.
Who's on the "receiving end " the majority of the time
Sep 3, 7:39 pm
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 7