Have you ever stayed in a long term relationship even though you felt it was going no where?

Have you ever stayed in a long term relationship even though you felt it was going no where?

kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
just curious would look to hear stories perhaps some are like mine..
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
yes
Tori Rebel , JessCee , sassyNsensual , El-Jaro , pinkcupcakes , Lucky21 , ZenaidaMacroura , aliceinthehole , bayosgirl , That Man from Mars , DeliciousSurprise , cherryredhead88 , Nora , Ryuson , babyrock , darthkitt3n , Sunshineamine , froggiemoma , Sir , KC Kitten , Peggi , Antipova , SiNn , null , Eva Schwaltz , NaturalWoman , LindseyDawn , Beck , DeliciousDrip , mandiegk , konicaguy , sexfairy , mjtheprincess , Istanbull , Sundae Sparkles , Artishok , Supervixen , PropertyOfPotter , novanilla , Trysexual
40
no
Ivy Wilde , EvilHomer , Ansley , Coralbell , Ace <3 , marizipan , Ghost , Alan & Michele , Diablotin , Liz2 , cheetahpita , LennaKieran , caligaliber , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Miss Anonymous , Stagger13 , RedKyuubi
17
not too long
sassyNsensual , LaLaLouise , babyrock , KC Kitten
4
way too long
El-Jaro , pinkcupcakes , Lucky21 , ZenaidaMacroura , aliceinthehole , DeliciousSurprise , cherryredhead88 , Ryuson , froggiemoma , Sir , SiNn , null , NaturalWoman , Beck , mandiegk , mjtheprincess , Supervixen , PropertyOfPotter , novanilla , Trysexual
20
I stay out of relationships
I'm not sure..
kinky girlfriend
1
becaue of living situation
kinky girlfriend , JessCee , ZenaidaMacroura , babyrock , darthkitt3n , Istanbull , Supervixen , PropertyOfPotter , Trysexual
9
I had excuses...
El-Jaro , aliceinthehole , DeliciousSurprise , cherryredhead88 , babyrock , SiNn , Beck , mandiegk , mjtheprincess
9
I have a good heart and he/she took advantage and I knew it but I'm kind and forgiving
kinky girlfriend , aliceinthehole , Ryuson , Sunshineamine , Sir , Peggi , Antipova , null , Beck , PropertyOfPotter
10
I cared what others thought of me
I didnt want to be alone or single
El-Jaro , pinkcupcakes , aliceinthehole , bayosgirl , DeliciousSurprise , cherryredhead88 , Peggi , NaturalWoman , Beck , Supervixen , PropertyOfPotter
11
Other (explain)
kinky girlfriend , Tori Rebel , El-Jaro , P'Gell , DeliciousSurprise , Sir , Peggi , Antipova , potstickers , mistressg , PropertyOfPotter , Trysexual
12
Total votes: 133 (62 voters)
Poll is closed
08/25/2011
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Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Nope. I am not a patient person. If I could tell that the relationship was not going to work, I always got out of it immediately.

Most of my relationships did end up being fairly short, but when I found the right guy, I had had enough practice with all different kinds of relationships to know that this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We've been together for nine years this September and are still going strong.
08/25/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Yes, but it was my 1st marriage, not a dating relationship. I gave it more time than I normally would have because it was my husband and I'd made a commitment even though I was fairly certain there was no way for it to work out. If he'd been a boyfriend, not a husband, I would've left a year or so before I did. But I felt that since it was a marriage, I owed it to both of us to do everything possible to improve it.
08/25/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
just curious would look to hear stories perhaps some are like mine..
answering yes or no is very hard for me...I have 10 bowel movements a day and barely work..and we barely see each other well mostly at work but some weeks not even together between him driving an hour out of town to see his mom(he lives with her). He also has no time for friends between visiting his mom because of his workk schedule and seeing me..so 1 day a week he choses friends over me..thats why we barely see each other as well.

sometimes I wonder why my boyfriend is with me..on the other hand I think my mom is right if he was a real man a few years ago he would have wanted to live with me and start a life...She said he is on his mom's tit still and I'm a convenience for him a nd she wants to put her shoe up his ass...
08/25/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
My husband and I both have; he mostly out of being guilted back into the relationship when he tried to leave and me because we had been together for so long I felt like it was expected that we stay together. The next relationship I stayed in longer than I should have but since we were only seeing each other on weekends it was easy to forget how unhappy I was in the relationship during the week. When it got to the point that we couldn't even be around each other for a whole weekend, I let him say the words and end it. A few months later my husband and I got back together and I've never been happier.
08/25/2011
sassyNsensual sassyNsensual
I knew it wasn't going anywhere after the first day.....but the sex was good so I stayed. We weren't together too long.....but he cheat one me--go figure
08/25/2011
Illusional Illusional
Sometimes things don't feel like they're going anywhere.
I go to school and work, and my boyfriend works a lot.
He also lives an hour away and lives with his parents. Sometimes he chooses his friends over me, but a guy needs a friends. Everyone does.
He has to miss me sometimes.
It'll be our four year anniversary in September
He hasn't met my mom yet or anything.
Our relationship may feel slow to others, but it's going the right pace just for me.
08/25/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Sometimes things don't feel like they're going anywhere.
I go to school and work, and my boyfriend works a lot.
He also lives an hour away and lives with his parents. Sometimes he chooses his friends over me, but a guy needs a friends. ...
hmm how did you decide its going at the right pace for you?
08/25/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
There were really only two that I had that issue with, both at least 10 years ago.

My first relationship lasted longer than it needed to by about 6 months. In the other one, I tried ending it like 5 times in 10 months. I'm sucker for a crying girl though.
08/25/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
I was in a relationship that was bad for years. I think I was just a little to naive.
08/25/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
we held on for 2 years longer than we should have. we were very in love but didnt know how to love eachother the way we both needed. it ended a million times, and once finally.

we're still friends, though he lives far away, so that makes it easier.
08/25/2011
Ghost Ghost
No. I understand "down time", but seriously "going nowhere" is something else altogether.
08/26/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Even great relationships have stale times. But, if you have had patience and it looks like conditions are not going to change, why stay?

My Man and I have been together more than 20 years. We have been through times when I had no idea why I was still there. However, we have had enough good times and are enough in love and care enough about each other that we both WORK through the problems when they occur. Every relationsip will have "boring" times. If it is worth it, working through WHY it is boring will be done.

But, if he's ignoring you for his Mama I'd head for the door! I imagine he's a grown man. There's nothing wrong with spending some time with his mother, but you need to decide how much is too much. Does he spend Saturday nights with her? Date night? That isn't right.

My Man sees his mom for about 2 hour approx once to three times a month. That's ENOUGH for a grown man, IMO. I see my mother even less. We have our own family now, and neither of us are the type to be attached to our parents to an overwhelming degree. I'm not saying that "Two hours, a couple times a month" is a goal or perfect, but it's what works for us. It isn't static, he may run over there on occasion to fix something for her, or do a few things in her house, before she returns from FLA in the spring (she spends the winter in FLA) but, as a rule, he spends most of his time with me.

Going out with buddies is fine, again, a few times a month. If he's going out with buddies more than once a week and he's over say, 21, or not in college, it's probably too much. Again, this is just MY opinion on what works for us. We work through this my finding couple friends and then we can still be together and I can have some time with an other woman and he has a buddy to hang with. Spending time with other couples is a good compromise. It works well for us.

It also depends on how much you can bring to the relationship, too. I also have several serious health conditions. Sometimes, (often) I have to power through them for the good of My Man and my family. When my IBS was at it's worst, I took every single medication and test, and treatment available, because I couldn't afford to not be there for him and the kids. (I had to do the same thing with my migraines, and my Fibromyalgia and my endometriosis. Some of us have shitty health, but it is OUR responsibility to get the health care and take the meds and do the treatments so that we can be there for the people we love.) I know you don't have kids, but health conditions can either run our lives or we can do EVERYTHING, I mean everything to make them as non-invasive as possible.
.
.
.

.
08/26/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
I've dated people that I didn't want to be with way too long; finally I'm done with that!
08/26/2011
Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Even great relationships have stale times. But, if you have had patience and it looks like conditions are not going to change, why stay?

My Man and I have been together more than 20 years. We have been through times when I had no idea why I ...
I am just too inpatient to hang on if I sense it is not going anywhere. From everyone I have been with, I learned something...about myself and others. My goal is to grow from the past. My present relationship is about three years and we are only living together for five months. I believe that this man is the one!
08/26/2011
babyrock babyrock
Now that's I'm older and am married, I can say that the main reason when I was young was laziness. It was easy to have someone stable in your life and don't having to go out and meet new people all the time. However, that usually doesn't last more than a year for me because when the emotions aren't there, the sex goes down hill fast!
08/26/2011
cheetahpita cheetahpita
I've never stayed in a relationship that is stagnant or on the way down, but I've seen many friends who have. It's hard to let go sometimes, but you have to make a choice: work to improve things or get out. There's no point in sticking around just because you're afraid you're going to be lonely on Friday nights.
08/26/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
hmm how did you decide its going at the right pace for you?
I imagined what if he proposed to me tomorrow what would I say?
No, almost instantly.
Being stuck with him forever scares the living HELL out of me.
Meeting his family? Ick, I don't want to.
I enjoy being around him, he makes me happy the time we do spend together, I still get butterflies, and he does little things to make me happy.
08/26/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
yep, way too long.
08/26/2011
Sir Sir
I stayed in my relationship way, way too long. And I knew, for a fact, that nothing would happen. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I was hurt to, it hurt me to admit that the person that I fell in love with would never feel such a thing for me. I was with her for four years, and I've known her for five now, at this point. I haven't spoken to her in weeks. We kept going back at each other because I couldn't handle rejection and she didn't know how to ignore me. I'm very persistent, I won't take no for an answer. It's a bad trait of mine. But regardless, I'm finally out of it. She said something to me that I needed to hear for a long, long time. And it finally made it so that I would be able to move forward.

Usually, if you have any feeling that a relationship is going nowhere, it truly is going nowhere. And even if it is going somewhere and you have such feelings, then you really, really need to reevaluate yourself and where you stand. When I was with my ex, I had no doubt in my mind that things were perfect, even as sad, upset, angry as I was. I do not know where I am going with this, but I hope that it helps with whatever situation you are in. Just one more experience and one more opinion to consider.
08/26/2011
Peggi Peggi
I ended up in an abusive relationship and marriage, together for 6 years, he had me convinced no one else would love me, etc., and took advantage of my kindness. BUT, not anymore cuz this gal has moved on
08/26/2011
Antipova Antipova
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at trusting myself when I feel that a relationship is not ideal---instead of trusting my partner's reassurances or promises to change.

The sooner everyone like me learns to listen to their inner voice more strongly than the voice of their partner---the better off we'll all be.

Sir's sentence "I'm very persistent, I won't take no for an answer. It's a bad trait of mine" two posts above would have very aptly described the mindset of the partner I'm referring to. And, Sir (and others who might be helped), I don't know what it means coming from a stranger, but both my partner and I learned and grew from our analogous situation. We're not worse-off for it having happened.
08/26/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
just curious would look to hear stories perhaps some are like mine..
yeah at one time many moons ago i did stay because i made excuses
08/26/2011
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at trusting myself when I feel that a relationship is not ideal---instead of trusting my partner's reassurances or promises to change.

The sooner everyone like me learns to listen to their ...
I do not need help. I'm out of the situation, and I am better off from it too. I don't allow myself to get into relationships that I do not see going anywhere, and if I get into one and find out later, I end it immediately.
08/26/2011
null null
Yes, I really don't like ending relationships and I stayed with my most recent ex for waaay too long because of it. I was miserable, but I didn't want to hurt him, he knew all of this and wouldn't let things end easily, cried every time I brought it up. After nearly a year of this I finally decided "He doesn't care about how I feel in this at all. I'm done with this." Told him it was over and didn't talk to him for almost a month. Harsh, but necessary. I'm so glad it's over now.
08/26/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Yes, looking back it was one of the weirdest mistakes ever. Something kept telling me that I shouldn't date this guy, but he kept persisting. Finally, I gave in, we were together for a little less than a year. He was a total jerk.
08/26/2011
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I did date someone because he wouldnt take no and after I kept trying to break it off he would cry until after almost 4 years I said I dont care if you cry and say you will kill yourself Im leaving.
08/27/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Even great relationships have stale times. But, if you have had patience and it looks like conditions are not going to change, why stay?

My Man and I have been together more than 20 years. We have been through times when I had no idea why I ...
my ibs has gotten so bad I'm close to losing my job
08/28/2011
Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Nope never. I don't like to waste my time.
08/29/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I am just too inpatient to hang on if I sense it is not going anywhere. From everyone I have been with, I learned something...about myself and others. My goal is to grow from the past. My present relationship is about three years and we are only ...
Good luck! I hope this works out for you. Everybody has a different experience that determines when and who is the right one for them.

I hope this works out well for both of you. It sounds good!!!!
09/12/2011
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Total posts: 43
Unique posters: 37