The New Intimacy

Maintaining a Long Distance Relationships

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Contributor: indiechick indiechick
Looking for tips, tricks and secrets to maintaining a long distance relationship. Flying back and forth frequently is NOT an option due to cost of flights and very limited budgets, if that is all you have to suggest please do not post anything.


Thanx in advance.
05/20/2012
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Mine fell apart because of not being able to visit each other often. :-/ It needs to be more than once every two years.
05/21/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment.

He and I do try and visit each other; though it doesn't happen as frequently as I'd like. The last time we saw each other was about 3 months ago. We will see each other again next month, and then probably not for another 5 or 6 months. :/

He and I maintain our relationship by talking regularly. This is a bit difficult due to a 5 hour time difference, and the fact that our schedules are different... but I wake up early to talk to him, and he'll regularly stay up late to speak to me.

We cam regularly. We write e-mails daily. We surprise each other with pictures (both sexual, and "regular") on a frequent basis.
05/21/2012
Contributor: friendswithfangs friendswithfangs
Being able to see each other frequently definitely helps, but if you really do love the person, you can get through it without visits all the time. As with the first poster though, I imagine it gets harder when the time spans grow to years :c

It's mostly a matter of communication? make sure you're talking every day you can, and when you can't, write them letters or send them things online for when they get back. Having a webcam definitely helps too.
But yeah basically, talk! send pictures! skype! write them letters! (seriously, letters are the best) there are lots of things online you can do together, so try to think of those things.

It sucks when you don't have any idea when you'll see them next, so it's never a bad idea to talk about the possibilities :o
Having a date to look forward to, no matter how far ahead, helps a lot.

Expect that there will be bad days when it doesn't seem worth it, but those days pass and a ldr can be just as fulfilling and wonderful as a close one!!
05/21/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It's always a challenge. For mine, the key is that there will be a discrete end, and she'll be able to move in. It's also helped that we talk every day, and show we care in little ways
05/21/2012
Contributor: Nora29714 Nora29714
FOr me a LDR was way to hard. I'm to much of a needy person. I need to be held and kissed. and ect. and it just didn't work out for uslink they have wonderful advice here. and ideas for LDRs
05/21/2012
Contributor: giftdgecko giftdgecko
SKYPE! It's not like being on the phone where you get easily distracted or can't see the other persons face. Granted it's still difficult not being able to have physical contact
06/04/2012
Contributor: justme23 justme23
Skype, texting, "pair" app for iPhones. You *have* to talk. And you have to visit each other. Trust is a big thing.
06/04/2012
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
I'm currently in a LDR and have been for the past year. Some things that I find help are:

1.) Talk every day. Webchat or skypechat or text messages. Just let your partner know that you're out there, find out how your partner is doing. Share your day. Constant, open communication is the key, here.

2.) Come up with a weekly 'date night.' Try playing some online games, or watch a movie together at the same time.

3.) Be creative in the bedroom. Both my partner and I found it incredibly sexy to just put on skype chat and have "phone sex." Initially we were worried the idea would be 'corny' but when you can really hear your partner getting off it tends to help you along as well. Super fun and I recommend it. Skype also has a camera chat option if you're not shy about that sort of thing. Even erotic texts or 'sexting' helps out a relationship.

4.) Make sure you have some sort of a goal. Are you going to move in together eventually? Are you heading in the same direction? If you're not perhaps this isn't the right person for you. It can lead to a lot of heartache if you hold onto a relationship that doesn't have a joining point. My partner and I plan to move in together after they are done with grad school. It's nice to have a goal.

5.) Take turns visiting each other whenever possible.
06/04/2012
Contributor: indiechick indiechick
Never mind all, we decided to split as friends instead of potentially ruining our friendship and true love for each other by trying to do distance, if we end up together some day then it was meant to be. But THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of your for your tips.
06/04/2012