The New Intimacy

Meeting someone online, but stalling out.

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Contributor: WD40watcher WD40watcher
Hi everyone,

I had this happen to me twice. I met a girl through a friend, but I met her online. After a while of chatting and getting to know one another we decided it was time to talk on the phone or even meet in person. However whenever it came time to do so the girl would get nervous and I'd be left feeling disappointed. I actually got stuck in this series of events for over 2 years of dealing with it because I did not have much going on relationship wise in my "real" life of hanging out with people. At times I've felt extremely embarassed about it all and was wondering if anyone else had ever gone through something like this?
04/18/2012
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Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I have not been in this situation, but it can be hard dating online. Good luck to you.
04/18/2012
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
This happened in the relationship I'm currently in, and I was the one on the other end of the stick.

It took about six months before I was comfortable enough to speak to him, and a year-ish before I would agree to meet him (we still haven't done the meeting thing due to other issues not related to nervousness). This is my first online relationship.

If it's taken two years and you've still not simply spoken to her... it might be time to move on. She may have something to hide.
04/18/2012
Contributor: ValerieRayne ValerieRayne
I haven't ever "dated" online, but I've tried meeting friends numerous times online. And I seem to have the same problem the girl you speak of has, I just get nervous or something.

I always talk about one day hooking up with people I chat with online or meeting that person from online that I've never met, but I just can't ever go through with it. I don't know why, it just is that way...
04/18/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
It's an understandable thing to have issues talking in real person, the internet gives you a level of anonymity which can boost your confidence. The other thing is that sometimes when you meet in person or over the phone, there's some subtle thing in their voice, scent, facial expressions, etcetera, that makes you nervous or is a turnoff. I had some issues with someone who was just a friend, but the first time we talked over the phone (after talking for months), it was really stilted and scary.
04/19/2012