Moving in together... - Created by Genderfree on Feb 06, 2013: EdenFantasys Forum

Genderfree

Me and my girlfriend have been together for three years. We met in high school and started dating about right away. We're still together, but things have been really rocky. More like outside circumstances than anything. Now, all of those outside circumstances are finally settling down and I'm able to move in with her. However, I am so unprepared. I still live with my mother (like I said, lots of circumstances) and I've never lived on my own before. Honestly, I'm so afraid I'll end up hurting her some how. I have really bad anxiety and I hit her once a few weeks ago. It was the first time I ever hit her, it was completely on accident (I was really aggressive). She just doesn't know how to deal with my anxiety, so I've been bringing her in with me to counselor.

I love her so much, I just don't want to end up hurting her. However, on the other hand, a lot of people say that she does not respect me as much as she should, and I see that, as well; I just don't think she understands it when I explain it to her.

What do you guys think we should do?

02/06/2013

Lildrummrgurl7

It's great that you're working with her to deal with your anxiety. I can relate; my anxiety is terrible and it definitely affects my relationship. If I were in your shoes, I would wait a little bit before moving in until you feel you've made some progress on yourself and she is ready to help you cope with your anxiety. It's really hard to have a partner with anxiety and my partner is still learning to deal with it. Spending time apart through the learning process can help. My partner and I do live together and it can make things tough when I'm in one of my "bad" moods. Fortunately, I haven't gotten aggressive but I can understand how that happens.

02/06/2013

Hummingbird

I would suggest you move into a place of your own for at least a year and away from mom. You need to understand the responsibilities of your own home no matter the size. I moved out of my family home at 21 to first learn how to fend for myself and didn't move in with a man until 9 years later. Even now there would be things I would change looking back, talking for one about things that really matter. Sex, fulfillment, expectations, wants, needs and oh so any things. You are very lucky to have a woman willing to go to counseling with you and cares for you that much. In my younger days a man lost his anxiety with me just once and hit me and I immediately walked out the door.

02/06/2013