My boyfriend is a bed humper. This has certain problems if say he gets horny at 4am...I wake up. Occasionally it can be a real pain especially if I am horny and have been trying to get sex because I'll only wake up when he's just about to finish, and he just wants it over with and I still need to warm up. Usually if we have sex at night and the morning he'll have trouble in the morning, so there's no chance of early morning sex. Sometimes it makes me feel jealous if Im not feeling particularly sexy. Hes also mentioned in passing he thinks its weird to masturbate about your girlfriend but I can't tell if he was joking. The main reason it upsets me is that he goes into his own little world and I'm not allowed in. If I talk I've apparently ruined it for him. To me that certainly means I'm not in whatever fantasy he conjures. So if I don;t want to piss him off or jump him immediately I have to remain tight lipped. This morning I felt really upset because he said he was horny and asked if I wanted sex. I said maybe then he said he needed it to be quick because he needed to work. I said OK because I started to feel more in the mood. I suggested maybe we should reset the alarm instead of it going off every little while, but he just wanted to ignore it. The next thing I know he was masturbating. I said with a reasonable amount of affection OK, I suppose you can do it yourself. He replied angrily, 'then why did you distract me then?' I said 'because maybe you did want to have sex with me', and then he was using the same tone to describe how he wanted to do it before the alarm came on again. I said 'How romantic',( I can't remember if I used an expletive here but its entirely possible). Then he got up and raged about how he was going to constantly horny all because of me, which I think was terribly unfair. Granted he'd had a bad night sleep but his extreme reaction made me feel even worse about his masturbation.

Apart from all of this I think its fair to say that our sex life has hit a real rut and I don't know what to do about it. We're not terribly compatible in the bedroom.

Does anyone here have any simlar experiences. Do you share masturbation with your partner or do you find it uncomfortable? Can anyone give any perspective at all? Better still solutions? With my last boyfriend masturbation was a part of sex. It feels weird for me to be upset about masturbation. less

I think it is alright for couples to masturbate, but when it goes to the extreme of affecting the relationship like it has to yours then there is a problem especially when it come to the waking up in the bed and the "my way or no way" it kinda looks like the relationship is on its way out. unless there is a way to correct the behavior that has been shown to you. less