The New Intimacy

Do your partner's exes ever bother you? PRIVATE VOTING

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Ex girlfriends/boyfriends /wives/husbands always seem to be a pain in the ass for people. But on the other hand, it doesn't ever come up with some couples. I actually know two couples where the brother and the sister are dating their sibling's ex husband/wife. They even live together and share children. It's so awkward! At least the way I see it.

Private voting, choose what applies.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a wife/girlfriend and...
92
I am a husband/boyfriend and...
18
I am constantly bothered by my s/o's exes
11
I am sometimes bothered by my s/o's exes
41
I am on a friend basis with my s/o's exes
10
I have never met any of my s/o's exes
40
I would be bothered if I met my s/o's exes
18
I don't really care about anyone from my s/o's past
51
My s/o's ex comes around occasionally and I don't mind
5
My s/o's ex comes around occasionally and I don't like it
6
My s/o's ex rarely ever comes around but it bothers me when they do
5
My s/o's ex rarely ever comes around but it doesn't bother me when they do
11
My s/o has no exes
5
My s/o has an ex husband/wife
9
My s/o has an ex girlfriend/boyfriend
41
I have no exes
7
Other (always has to be one!)
10
Total votes: 380 (139 voters)
Poll is closed
05/22/2011
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Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
It's been so long since either of our exes became our exes that I don't think any of us would care if we ran into each other again now.
I *did* have a boyfriend before Alan whose ex girlfriend keyed my car though, which turned out to be funny because he called her out on it in front of her oh-so-religious family (major shame factor for her) and then made her pay for it.
05/22/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Thank God my partner's ex girlfriend is not in his life. He doesn't associate with ex's and neither do I. I don't think it'd be very respectful and it wouldn't be a good situation, things just aren't the same after you've been with someone. I think to keep things on the safe side & keep people from being hurt, ex's are best left in the past! I know first hand what an ex can cause. I once dated a pretty nice guy and his ex was always around. She'd randomly show up at my house even though she'd never met me & lived and hr and a half away, her & her brother would just show up when my bf who was her ex was over. Then she'd call and leave I love you baby on his voicemail. Bet you'd never guess he ended up cheating with her! Ha Ha. The bastard even done it while wearing the t-shirt and BOXERS I bought him! Ugh! He's tried to get back with me ever since my partner and I have been together, but I eventually changed my number so he'd leave us alone. Nothing good hardly ever comes from ex's being in the picture. Either the ex wants revenge, or the person you're with is just trying to make them jealous, or the ex is jealous. Either way that's too much jealousy for me! Lol. I'm so thankful that my partner put me first from the beginning. His ex desperately tried getting back with him & even when we did have to see her, he NEVER let himself be alone with her. I asked why he always insisted I was with him when we had to see her & he said he preferred that I was able to see the kind of person he was and that he didn't think it'd be very respectful of him. He always makes sure he's not in strange/awkward situations where things could just get ugly. I just choose to leave the ex's out of it. I didn't mind when we first got together and his ex was around. She would come to his house & say she still had belongings there. He gave her everythign she left and when she kept showing up he told her to leave that nothing there belonged to her any longer.
05/22/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
They never did before unless they were all over them/trying to get with them, etc...

The one I love right now? Well, his first two serious girlfriends I was both friends with, and the last two......I don't know wtf was going on there. I'll just leave it at that. LOL
05/22/2011
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
I haven't yet met my SO's exes, but I know he regular is in contact with at least two of them, since they're the mothers of his kids. I'm sure I will meet them at some point or another, and I'll probably be bothered by it, but it's not because of them, it's because of my jealousy.

I know that he slept with his ex wife after they were divorced for some time, only because they still sort of loved each other in a way. Other than the two babymamas, I don't think he's in contact with any of his other exes.

For the record, I'm not in contact with any of mine, and I don't think he'd have a problem if I were, as long as it remained platonic.
05/22/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
We've been together so long that ex's would bother neither of us, even if they were around.
05/22/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
It's been so long since either of our exes became our exes that I don't think any of us would care if we ran into each other again now.
I *did* have a boyfriend before Alan whose ex girlfriend keyed my car though, which turned out to be ... more
Oh Lord! If someone keyed my car that would be it for them!
05/22/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
I only met the last girlfriend before myself (of course) and I cannot stand her. My husband walked in on her having sex with 2 guys.. needless to say they broke up. She treated him like crap and because he "loved" her he stayed friends with her. Well when we started dating, she got unhappy and jealous and still treated him like crap. I wasn't fond them staying friends but didnt stop them, and he finally came to his senses and stopped seeing her. I dont have any ex's as my husband was my 1st boyfriend. But my husband hates one of my guy friends. Im not entirely sure why....
05/22/2011
Contributor: Howells Howells
I only met him once, it was enough. I don't really care as long as they are not actively in our/her life.
05/22/2011
Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
they bother the heck out of me when they still talk a lot
05/22/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
His ex cheated on him three times in one night at a party and is now heavily into drugs. She really messed him up emotionally. I met her once and didn't really care for her, but I'm happy she's not in his life.
05/22/2011
Contributor: DTV88 DTV88
my gf is bothered by my ex's all the time.
i dont talk to em ever. she is just VERY jealous.
05/22/2011
Contributor: DTV88 DTV88
i am not bothered by my gf's ex's at all.
05/22/2011
Contributor: kinksters kinksters
it's interesting to see where his (& my) ex's ended up..
05/23/2011
Contributor: salaciousrex salaciousrex
My boyfriend's exes don't really bother me. I'm really good friends with a couple actually. There are one or two that really get to me though
05/23/2011
Contributor: Choolz Choolz
I don't really care, there's one specifically that I don't like cuz she's such s whore and it grosses me out that he hooked up with her. And I'm not just hating on her because she is an ex, she truly is gross. I'm nice to her and talk to her since I run into her frequently but I don't like her.
As for my husband, he's ridiculously possessive and jealous. The second he sees an ex of mine he puffs up and grabs me, it's so damn annoying!
05/23/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
We've never met any of each other's exes. I really hope it stays that way too!
05/23/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
His exes have nothing on me. I don't worry about them in the least. And he feels the same way about mine. What's past is past, etc.
05/23/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
My man only has one ex and I've never met her, but we have lots of mutual friends and I periodically hear updates about her through my social circle. I'm not bothered at all - most of the time the comments are that I'm a definite upgrade so I really can't complain.
05/23/2011
Contributor: LostBoy988 LostBoy988
Exes don't make a difference to me personally and I let my significant others deal with them as they please. I am not a jealous type.
05/24/2011
Contributor: tffnyandrs tffnyandrs
we are married and dated young. Our exes mean nothing and we know it!
05/26/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Ex girlfriends/boyfriends /wives/husbands always seem to be a pain in the ass for people. But on the other hand, it doesn't ever come up with some couples. I actually know two couples where the brother and the sister are dating their ... more
Sigel and I have been together since we were 15 so while he DOES have -exs they aren't in the picture. What bothers me is those women who sleep with him and then think that he must not love me anymore and decide to be rude or ignore me. The thing is that is the quickest way to get him to walk away...but they never learn. They believe that I must not know and call him at all hours on his work phone...which he tells me about. I mean for gawd's sweet sake he TELLS them that he is in an open relationship and invites them to meet me before he does anything with them if they have concerns but the women would prefer to believe their romance stories.

I was Arch's first so no -exs there. Sigel was my first so neither guy has any problems with my -exs....LOL (sometmes they have problems with each other but they work the problems out quickly and with lots of male bonding shit....)
05/26/2011
Contributor: Kdlips Kdlips
not no more
05/26/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
I'm really good friends with some of my partner's exes. I don't know all of them, but some are seriously my best friends.
05/28/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Nope
06/01/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It's been so long since either of us dated anyone, I'm sure all of our exes are probably married with kids by now! LOL
06/01/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
I've never met any of my partner's ex's and he's never met mine. I like to keep the past the past.
06/02/2011
Contributor: curmudgeoncat curmudgeoncat
I've never met his and he's never met mine. Sometimes when my partner talks about them, I feel insecure or inadequate. But I think that it's mainly a part of who I am, rather than anything to do with his actions.
06/11/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
We don't have exes but i think they would bother me if he metioned them to me.
06/14/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Ex girlfriends/boyfriends /wives/husbands always seem to be a pain in the ass for people. But on the other hand, it doesn't ever come up with some couples. I actually know two couples where the brother and the sister are dating their ... more
Interesting.
06/14/2011