Planned Intimacy. Do you think it is a good idea?

I don't see what's wrong with that.

I don't make intimacy plans cause they never workout, like tonight the guy I am talking to is going to be in town an I won't get to see him more then likely because I am babysitting

My boyfriend really doesn't like to plan anything when it comes to intimacy. He'd rather it be "in the heat of the moment" or just totally spontaneous/random at that time. I've tried to plan a few things like perhaps what position we might try, like a new one, but he got a bit no-no on me and it left me confused. We've sorted it now. I'm still unsure at times, though I do agree with it being in the heat of the moment that we decide to do things. He does let me pick out a sexy outfit, or whatever I want to wear, or if I want to pounce on him unexpectedly. I've surprised him quite a lot since he returned home and he's loved it all. So, I do think it can be a mix of both. You can plan some things but not all and then there are times were you could plan your intimacy, especially if there are certain extenuating situations.

yes

In our lives, it is almost necessary to plan intimacy to actually get it to happen. So often we both come home, are exhausted, and just fall asleep. Here's a great idea that we are just starting to try out:

We came up with a bunch of ideas (romance him, romance her, roleplaying, candle/massage, etc) and wrote them on painted popsicle sticks. Put them in a pretty little jar or something and we randomly pick what we are going to do that night. We do this for date ideas too.

We like to think of it as a date night.

We have tried it on occasion and it's been fun, but it doesn't always work out. Sometimes the pressures of the day intrude and one or both of you is just too tired. On the other hand, when you know it's on the schedule for later that night, there's something really fun about imagining what will take place, especially when you're partner is sending suggestive emails during the work day.

I think that would ruin the intimacy of it. My fiance and I don't live together yet and because of our schedules we rarely see eachother so when we are able to quality alone time, it can sometimes feel like we "have" to (not that I don't want to by any means) because we never know when we will get another chance. I am looking forward to living together so we can be more spontaneous and live for the moment.

Its a good idea if required and it can be something to look forward too, but there needs to be wiggle room for spontaneity too.

Planning a time starts the anticipation!

When we're really busy yes, but it's not like we plan weeks in advance or anything, it's more like if I want sex I'll let him know so he knows that he needs to make time for me when he gets home. And we're also trying for a baby, so when I know I'm ovulating, we know we're going to have sex.

Yes, then I can make sure to be extra clean and nice and smooth if you know what I mean!

I think it's good. It gives you time to prepare and means you won't have an interruptions.

Sometimes, but being spontaneous is also important

I don't think you can do it forever, but sometimes you just have to.

I've done that with partners when otherwise it just won't happen. If you have crazy schedules, sometimes it's necessary to plan it.