The New Intimacy

Do you consider sexting with someone besides your partner cheating?

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Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Sexuality researchers Diane Kholos Wysocki, from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers, from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, have been looking into infidelity on the internet and sexting (sending sexually explicit text messages and photographs via cell phone). Their study revealed the following results:

Women were more likely than men to engage in sexting behaviors.

Over two-thirds of the respondents had cheated online while in a serious relationship.

So, my question tonight is, do you consider sexting with someone besides your partner cheating?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes
catgirl9 , Goldfish-29 , Coralbell , aliceinthehole , freakincage , Southern Lady , Ryuson , Redboxbaby , Ghost , Shellz31 , P'Gell , systematicweasel , sarki , Ansley , tickle me pink , LennaKieran , froggiemoma , Rossie , indiglo , Orion , LaLaLouise , Nissa Nissa , anonomous , brainyspecs , SuperSarah116 , Envy , ZenaidaMacroura , padmeamidala , ms.anon , Lucky21 , cujo467 , daveysgirl , JE011 , toxie m , guard083 , GravyCakes , IslandGoddess , Starkiller87 , The Curious Couple , mizzmilla , BeautifulDarkness , Keegski , Peggi , Marziba , Mistress Mandy , Breas , EvilHomer , Beaners , That Man from Mars , DeliciousSurprise , Wildchild , Miss Anonymous , Adriana Ravenlust , [Red] , Princess-Kayla ♥ , Jaimes , domsub1993 , Jul!a , Just Tigger , Vanille , TameTemptress , JKS , ss143 , - Kira - , monkeylover621 , Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama , jenn g , LovesAPoet , Gracie , NavyDoll87 , butterflygirlxo , RTC , Jon S , bayosgirl , deltalima , Curiouscat , Stephanie Majors , blacklodge , Rarity , MissCandyland , favoritemelody , Gunsmoke , Mihoshi4301 , Undead , RavenWolf88 , Zombirella , Megan Jean , (k)InkyIvy , Squeaky , Jake'n'bake , Anjulie , Masokisti , sexydelphia , Collogue , Nazaress , Lummox , nikki6639 , MissBre , Hallmar82 , Lilith Bealove , caligaliber , ejrbrndps , rom323 , Paula , Jenny Swallows , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , romstomp , pootpootpoot , dragonn , potstickers
110  (82%)
No
marche , Tart , Diabolical Kitty , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , CreamySweet , El-Jaro , Jobo , Ms. Spice , jc123
9  (7%)
Other: Explain please :)
Airen Wolf , Kkay , null , extrafun , SiNn , LostBoy988 , clp , emilia , TheSlyFox , Katastophy , InnocentISwear , LAndJ , Beck , Maiden , Geogeo
15  (11%)
Total votes: 134
Poll is closed
08/11/2011
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Contributor: catgirl9 catgirl9
I would definitely consider it cheating.
08/11/2011
Contributor: Goldfish-29 Goldfish-29
Yes to me it's cheating.
08/11/2011
Contributor: freakincage freakincage
It is definitely cheating
08/11/2011
Contributor: Southern Lady Southern Lady
Yes, I believe it's cheating.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
If you are involved in any sexual behavior with someone other than your partner, and your partner did not give consent beforehand, it's cheating.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Unless there was an okay given at a prior date for this behavior, it is cheating.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Sexuality researchers Diane Kholos Wysocki, from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers, from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, have been looking into infidelity on the internet and sexting (sending sexually explicit text ... more
In my relationship cheating is considered hiding a developing relationship from my partners. If they didn't know I was developing a new love interest then it would constitute cheating which would be silly since neither guy would really care unless they felt I was not spending time with them or ignoring the kids. In fact most of the time they will suggest things to say....
08/12/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
To me it would be emotional cheating!
08/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Sexuality researchers Diane Kholos Wysocki, from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers, from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, have been looking into infidelity on the internet and sexting (sending sexually explicit text ... more
Two thirds of the responded online while in a serious relationship? That astounds me. Did the study reveal the sample size and the median age? My guess would be a small sample size and a very young median age. Did the study reveal what they meant by "serious relationship?" I know High School students who consider themselves in "serious relationships" and these last weeks or months. If the protocol was either married or living together, my guess is the respondents who cheated online or sexted would be lower.

Interesting.

Do you have a link to the study itself? Or at least an abstract? It would be good to read.

Thank you Angel.
08/12/2011
Contributor: systematicweasel systematicweasel
I would consider it cheating
08/12/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
Yes I would
08/12/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
In my relationship, yes. In others, maybe not. It depends on the boundaries of the individual union.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Sexuality researchers Diane Kholos Wysocki, from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers, from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, have been looking into infidelity on the internet and sexting (sending sexually explicit text ... more
I think that any sexual behavior not discussed openly with your partner and agreed upon beforehand is cheating.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
What ElleBee said. I don't innately consider it cheating because it might be something that has been agreed on in the relationship, but if it's done secretly, then yes.
08/12/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
I would most definitely consider it cheating.
08/12/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
cheating, yes.
08/12/2011
Contributor: null null
It would depend on the specific boundaries of the relationship, and who the 'sexts' were to.
08/12/2011
Contributor: extrafun extrafun
if your planing on line and your spose knows about it, its not cheeting, if they dont know, but you have no intentions of meeting the other person kind of a grey area, but if it you plan on leading to an affair then yes chetting
08/12/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Wow, that's pretty surprising. I definitely think it's cheating, no ifs, ands or buts about it.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I consider this kind of behavior as psychological cheating, which might be the root that advances into physical infidelity.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I don't see it as cheating, but I see it as the possible leading up to cheating. Everyone person likes to flirt and be flirted with and the physical is the cheating to me.
08/12/2011
Contributor: Orion Orion
Yup considering how i met my wife it isn't a stretch for it to be real lol. Doesn't matter if they in the same state city or a different country either. I easily flew my wife to me from Australia and it developed online in a mmo.

Now if say it was permitted by the other then it would be fine. More the act of doing it in secret while the other is away is where i find the problem.
08/12/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
@P'Gell let me see if I can find the article again and I'll post the link.
08/12/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Here's the link to the NY Times article. It does give a few stats about the participants in the study.

link
08/12/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
To me it would be emotional cheating!
I agree. I'd be upset.
08/13/2011
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Sexuality researchers Diane Kholos Wysocki, from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers, from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, have been looking into infidelity on the internet and sexting (sending sexually explicit text ... more
I honestly wouldnts ay so in certain situations simply because me and my hubby are opens o we will talk dirty to others just toturn the other on
08/13/2011
Contributor: anonomous anonomous
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
To me it would be emotional cheating!
Sane with me! I dont even like to be with guys that check out other girls!
08/13/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
To me it's cheating, even if the act is 'fantasy' through text. It's basically emotional, because you have to be into it to be doing it.

I had this happen with my ex, caught him giving numbers to girls he met online, talking to girls online and all. Yes we had an LDR, and for us it was mostly online, but when he finally up and actually cheated on me and left me for a girl, it was in person. But he did admit to talking to other girls and thought about cheating on me the last 2 years together, i was just too blind to see it, thinking it to be an addiction to World of Warcraft. Just found out later he was trying to meet girls on there.

So yes, unless consent is given, or it's part of RP the other is aware of but it's okay, it's cheating, not physically, but emotionally. Because to go back and forth through text like that you have to be there mentally and want it.
08/13/2011
Contributor: LostBoy988 LostBoy988
Really depends. If there is an open relationship or communication between primary partners, then no, but if not,then yes.
08/13/2011