Well, Master's and my situation has changed drastically. (Background: we live on opposite sides of the Pond and had met once in person in May, 2011, and have known each other since March, 2011.)
About a month ago, he had a double whammy of financial and health problems hit, and he turned silent during that time. Since I had lost the net and phone at the same time, the silence was not noted much (I still emailed him from college and the public library, although he never replied back). About a week ago, I finally outright asked "Has something changed?"
He finally replied with the aforementioned problems. Between his health scaring him and us having only one date a year due to both our finances, he thinks we don't have a future together and understands if I want to go on with my life. Glad to have met you, etc.
Naturally, I had to hit him with the proverbial mallet - despite being my Master, we are friends first and foremost. I had to remind him that's what we agreed upon during our first meeting in person. Having been a loner for so long, he doesn't seem to understand that friends don't abandon each other when life gets difficult.
Yes, I understand he doesn't have the energy to keep up a relationship. I don't expect him to when he's depressed, stressed, and (possibly) scared. I offered friendship, and told him I'll give him all the support and comfort he wants, no matter how the future ends up. That's what friends do.
Since he tends to chew over things silently, I haven't heard back from him. He may have decided I'm too optimistic for my own good, or he's really thinking over what I said. I don't know. I'm still offering support.
So, even though I'm fine offering friendship and putting the relationship on the backburner, I'm feeling a little lost in my identity at the moment. As I said, he's my Master, but the D/s dynamic doesn't apply anymore. In most relationships, when the rug is pulled out from under me I fall on my ass ... in this, I've landed on my knees. Still up, but hurting a bit. I don't really have my "Master" anymore.
I can't discuss this part of it with anyone else - the people around me tend to have dim views of D/s relationships - so I trust you folks here at EF to understand where this is coming from. I don't know if there will be a future together or not; I'm not putting expectations on it.
He ... just needs to know that he's not alone, and doesn't have to be alone like he's used to.
Any advice, comments, or words of wisdom? Any one else have similar circumstances?
About a month ago, he had a double whammy of financial and health problems hit, and he turned silent during that time. Since I had lost the net and phone at the same time, the silence was not noted much (I still emailed him from college and the public library, although he never replied back). About a week ago, I finally outright asked "Has something changed?"
He finally replied with the aforementioned problems. Between his health scaring him and us having only one date a year due to both our finances, he thinks we don't have a future together and understands if I want to go on with my life. Glad to have met you, etc.
Naturally, I had to hit him with the proverbial mallet - despite being my Master, we are friends first and foremost. I had to remind him that's what we agreed upon during our first meeting in person. Having been a loner for so long, he doesn't seem to understand that friends don't abandon each other when life gets difficult.
Yes, I understand he doesn't have the energy to keep up a relationship. I don't expect him to when he's depressed, stressed, and (possibly) scared. I offered friendship, and told him I'll give him all the support and comfort he wants, no matter how the future ends up. That's what friends do.
Since he tends to chew over things silently, I haven't heard back from him. He may have decided I'm too optimistic for my own good, or he's really thinking over what I said. I don't know. I'm still offering support.
So, even though I'm fine offering friendship and putting the relationship on the backburner, I'm feeling a little lost in my identity at the moment. As I said, he's my Master, but the D/s dynamic doesn't apply anymore. In most relationships, when the rug is pulled out from under me I fall on my ass ... in this, I've landed on my knees. Still up, but hurting a bit. I don't really have my "Master" anymore.
I can't discuss this part of it with anyone else - the people around me tend to have dim views of D/s relationships - so I trust you folks here at EF to understand where this is coming from. I don't know if there will be a future together or not; I'm not putting expectations on it.
He ... just needs to know that he's not alone, and doesn't have to be alone like he's used to.
Any advice, comments, or words of wisdom? Any one else have similar circumstances?
