When you have a fight, do you normally confide in anyone?

When you have a fight, do you normally confide in anyone?

bayosgirl bayosgirl
Like a friend, counselor, parent..? And why or why not? Just wondering.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, I do always or most of the time
19  (30%)
Yes, sometimes
18  (28%)
No, usually not
21  (33%)
No, never
6  (9%)
Total votes: 64
Poll is closed
09/07/2012
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mistressg mistressg
Yes, most of the time.
09/07/2012
SecretKinksters SecretKinksters
Sometimes. Mostly in close friends.
09/07/2012
Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
Usually, but only with close friends.
09/07/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Nope. I usually keep arguments to myself. It bothers me when some of my friends are continually complaining about their partners, and yet do nothing to change their situation.

Also, what goes on between My Man and I is our business. I tend to not discuss this stuff while I'm still angry (because I might get too angry by drawing it out and talking about it and then that person will permanently have a horrible opinion of him based on ME being pissed off, without really knowing all of him) and once I've calmed, down, I certainly not going to discuss it.

When I was in therapy, I did discuss the occasional argument with my therapist, but that was with a licensed professional who was not there to judge or make assumptions, nor did she know any one else in my circle. She also was not able to tell anyone else, so nothing would be said to anyone else.

I think when one complains about one's partner a lot, people start to think: "Why is she still with him if he's that bad?" and "When is she going to make a solid decision to get the hell away from this obviously unbalanced person she's involved with?" They only hear one side of the story, and usually only hear what's going on when that person is angry.

So, I don't share arguments with my husband with other people often at all.
09/07/2012
Ansley Ansley
When I was in my twenties, I did. Now I might make a comment that we've had a bit of a lackluster evening or whatever, but I rarely go into explicit details. It just doesn't do any good. All it does is leave a bad impression of either of us on other people.
09/07/2012
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
It really depends on how bad the fight was or what the cause was. If it's something that's really bothering me, I'll talk to a close friend about it. Otherwise, I usually keep it to myself.
09/07/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Also, I don't share arguments with my husband with other people for several reasons. Partly because they would only hear MY POV, partly because I don't want to be seen as a complainer and be seen as someone who can't make a decision to change her life for the better (IF it were that bad, which it isn't, but it would sound like it if EVERY argument was seen through MY filter and relayed to my friends or family) and partly out of respect for my husband and for our relationship. I certainly wouldn't want him telling his acquaintances about OUR fights, so I'm not doing that to him.

And, for the record a "parent" would be the last person on G*d's green Earth I would share this stuff with. NONE of their business and sharing stuff like this with them can NEVER lead to anything good.
09/07/2012
tami tami
my close friend and coworker is usually who I confide in
09/07/2012
Cinnyree Cinnyree
its not about complaining. I understand what i am going through and how i feel when i tell someone else. I like to vent all of my anger out to anyone but the person i am fighting with so i don't let my emotion take over the problem
09/07/2012
Beck Beck
I don't. It's our business. I don't like to tell anyone. I might mention that I have been arguing with him to go to the Dr or something, but not over our actual fights.
09/07/2012
AmethystSmoke AmethystSmoke
No, because we don't fight. Disagreements, yes. Fights, no.

Even if we did argue and fight, the bottom line is what happens between us is our business. Period. This is also why I don't speak about our sex life with anyone - except anonymously on EF.
09/07/2012
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
Yes, sometimes I do.
09/07/2012
indiglo indiglo
No, never. I am like P'Gell, Stormy & Beck. It's OUR business. When I was younger (and less mature) I would talk about my relationship business with my friends. But now that I'm an adult and in an adult relationship I realize that isn't a good idea for me.

A relationship problem is NEVER solved by bringing in another person. Especially someone like a friend or family member - who is going to be biased. I also think that when we go talk to someone like that about our problems, we never go back and talk to them when we've made up or solved the issue - so it creates a very negative, skewed view of our partner for that person. Then, they will probably start thinking negatively about our partner, and that's not helpful either.

If I had a therapist currently, I would feel comfortable talking about my disagreements/problems with them. But then it would be with the goal of fixing ME and MY part in the problem - not just venting about what a lousy partner I have.
09/07/2012
Lioncub Lioncub
For the most part I keep them to myself, but every once in a while I'll vent to someone.
09/07/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
My best friend helps me put things in perspective.
09/07/2012
js250 js250
I usually keep it to myself. I have posted occasionally when there have been issues, but that is the extent of it--thanks for the advice!!
09/07/2012
sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
I usually talk to my mom or best friend.
09/07/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Sometimes, one of my friends, my mom, my paternal grandmother, or my one aunt.
09/07/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Like a friend, counselor, parent..? And why or why not? Just wondering.
Only with my close friends.
09/07/2012
Ganconagh Ganconagh
Sometimes, if it was a major fight, to a couple of very close friends who are like brothers.
09/07/2012
Taylor Taylor
I will talk about them with my therapist or in the therapy group I go to. I think it's a good thing. Gives me an objective perspective.
09/07/2012
SadoMas SadoMas
Yes, sometimes
09/08/2012
Deeder Deeder
Other: We haven't fought.
09/09/2012
MissCandyland MissCandyland
Always, my mom.
09/09/2012
Thumper Logic Thumper Logic
Close non-judgemental friend or mum
09/09/2012
Rory Rory
We normally work it out between ourselves.
09/14/2012
tortilla tortilla
depends - but not usually
09/14/2012
pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
mostly just a few close friends
09/16/2012
AliMc AliMc
I've never had an argument with my current boyfriend even though we've known each other for 2 years tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'd confide in somebody if it did happen.
09/16/2012
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Total posts: 55
Unique posters: 52