How/When did you decide to tie the knot?

How/When did you decide to tie the knot?

El-Jaro El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
07/05/2010
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Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
We had been dating for about 7 months and living together for about 5 months of that time. We were always saying "if we get married" or "when we get married" about things. Then one day we were driving and we had a "when we get married" conversation and he said "we need to stop this if and when and just do it, we should get married". So, it wasn't any kind of surprise situation, we had no ring yet, and he didn't exactly "ask". But, that's kind of how our relationship is. We're not into the whole traditional thing, we both think it's silly that a woman has to wait for a man to ask her to marry him and think that it's a decision that both members of the relationship need to talk about and come to that decision together. I've had friends who have gone absolutely nuts waiting for their boyfriends to propose. I dunno, I think that a surprise proposal can be fun, but I guess it's not just my thing.

We got a ring shortly after, that I picked out. So, I don't think that rings are mandatory for a proposal, heck I don't think they're necessarily NEEDED at all, I just wanted one.
07/05/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
My husband told me he decided he would marry me the night we met.

During our first or second date, alcohol inspired me to confess to him that I wanted to have his baby. Usually this is a relationship killing statement when made so early, but instead he replied "Well then we should be married." He proposed right then.

We didn't tell anyone for months. We thought everyone would think we were rushing things.
07/05/2010
Red Red
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
My husband told me he decided he would marry me the night we met.

During our first or second date, alcohol inspired me to confess to him that I wanted to have his baby. Usually this is a relationship killing statement when made so early, but ...
Cute!
07/05/2010
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
We got married 9 years after we'd already been living together, and I think Alan proposed to me about once a month through all of it. I finally gave in when my BFF challenged me to explain how I thought the relationship would be any different if I gave him a break and got married. I didn't really have an answer for her, I just hated the idea of signing papers in the relationship like it was a business deal or something... it just cheapens it in my eyes. If it weren't for the paperwork, I'd have probably done it a few months after we met, but his religious beliefs required that golden signature. We did finally reach a middle ground though (obviously...lol)

I'm still not big on the traditional institution of marriage overall (which he knows), so no we don't wear wedding rings.
07/06/2010
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
We had talked about marriage early in our relationship, and both of us agreed that we really had no reason to get married. (Other than my parents) When the first kid ( of two) arrived we thought that maybe we should if just for them.

We could not afford the ring's and we decided that due to my work at a steel fabrication shop that I would not wear a ring. ( rings and welding do not mix!) My grandma sent us her engagement ring for my wife. The wife did not now about it till I proposed. For her a ring was required but the wife DOES NOT LIKE DIAMONDS! So for her wedding ring I had one made with my birth stone, Aquamarine.

~small rant~ Before we were married we would bring home six to seven thousand dollars at tax time, filing separate. After we would only get about three, and that's with all the child credits. SO not right!
07/06/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Edit: Thinking on this later (a bit over an hour), my story doesn't belong here. Too heartbreaking. We need a 'delete entire post' option for this sort of thing.
07/06/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
We dated for about 9 months way back in high school, and he had said to me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Needless to say it was high school and we broke up. Fast forward to about 7 or 8 years later, we're somehow still really good friends and he took the chance while we were both between relationships to try and rekindle things, we started living together at just about the same time, and about a month later were theoretically planning our wedding. Last summer we started setting aside money, picked a date and started putting things together and he started saving for a ring. He finally "proposed" in February with his new set of work boots that he was really excited to show me.
07/06/2010
BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
We knew almost right away that we were going to end up being married. Unfortunately, i was going through a very long, nasty divorce so we had to wait until that was finalized. And definitely rings - I would be offended if he wouldn't wear one - it would make me think he didn't want people to know he was married.
07/08/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by BoomersGirl
We knew almost right away that we were going to end up being married. Unfortunately, i was going through a very long, nasty divorce so we had to wait until that was finalized. And definitely rings - I would be offended if he wouldn't wear one - ...
It would bother me too if my husband didn't want to wear a ring. I'm pleased that mine chose a substantial ring.
07/08/2010
Sensual husband Sensual husband
We dated for a year. We met on Eharmony. I proposed on our year anniversary. We planned to have a nice picnic on the beach. The weather was nice and sunny when we left to leave for the beach. When we arrived at the beach the sun was still out and bright but the wind was howling. We stayed out at the beach for about twenty minutes the sand blowing in our face not romantic and you could not eat a picnic for sure. So I had to change my plan so we stopped by a fondue place we both like and I just had my fingers crossed that they had seating. You would normally have to make reservations but they did have seating finally something went right. The timing just did not feel right at dinner. I asked her after dinner if we could drive to the marina and take a walk around she agreed it would be nice. I waited for the timing to be right with the sunset behind my back and the bay behind me as well I got down on my knee and professed how much I love her. I asked if I could have her hand in marriage and for the rest of our lives. She was shocked because it came out of the blue but she said yes right away.
07/08/2010
sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
We dated for 2 years. We lived together for 3 months and got married the fourth month. We have been married for 7 years now. We met online in Pal talk. We got married in church. It was a small private wedding.
07/14/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
It wasn't a surprise at all. We had been together for about 7 years already. We had been through an Open Relationship, because I was very young when we met (and he was very horny, LOL!) and we had some separation while I finished college and as I've said before, I didn't want to wake up one day in my 30s and say, "OMG, what did I miss?"

We actually went though a period where we didn't think we'd get married, in the beginning of our relationship, and then later, because My Man had doubts planted by his father and mother, based on my....temperament and believe or not, my Ethnic background. (It wasn't "the right one" for them. WTF?) Being Open changed his mind, and it just naturally evolved that we wanted kids and that with insurance, and home ownership etc that getting married would eventually happen.

We didn't have a traditional "proposal." We knew we were eventually going to get Legal. He kind of mentioned it "officially" in a sleazy hotel, after a really hot session of Reverse Cow Girl position sex. I remember that much. "This would be fun, if we were together all the time wouldn't it? Do you think you really want to be my wife?" I said, "Sure." and we bought rings (I am on my 3rd ring, due to either my hands growing or arthritis and my original wedding set not fitting anymore) and he never wears his. It really isn't a big deal. I have a common white gold band, and sometimes I wear it and sometimes I forget.

I got pregnant while we were planning a very simple wedding and looking at houses. We had just bought a house together and I had just moved in full time with him, and the first weekend I was so sick I couldn't stand up and said, "I feel pregnant." Although I'd never been pregnant before. The last weekend in our apartment we had sex without protection for the first time EVER in seven years. We were using a combination of Natural Family Planning and withdrawal. I can say withdrawal works well, NFP SUCKS! I was supposed to be on my "safe time" so he was about to come, and yelled "Oh God, I don't care!" and I said. "Just do it!" (figuring we were safe anyway) and he DIDN'T pull out, and I ended up carrying our first child.

No biggie, our wedding was simple (I paid $124.00 for a bridesmaid dress for my wedding dress before I got pregnant and planned a simple dinner with a DJ (back in the days when everyone still had bands at their wedding) so moved the wedding up, and got married about a month and a half later.

Several decades and a bunch of kids, and two houses later, here we are.
07/15/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
My honey asked me in bed one night, super casual like. (think... "so, ya wanna get married?") We got rings - which got stolen by our freaking movers! But have not gotten married. Heh. It's been like 5 years since he asked.

I think the asking was cool but feel no real need to actually... do it. We've each already been married a couple of times so, yanno, the paper doesn't make it work, the love does.
07/15/2010
Apinkjellybean04 Apinkjellybean04
My husband asked me after being together for 2 years in sweet tomatoes he got me a bowl of ice cream and stuck my ring in it but the funny part about it was there was no ice cream just a bowl of sprinkles a huge bowl lol. i thought it was a cute way to propose.
07/15/2010
DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO
We had been dating for about two months and had already talked about it a bit. We found out I was pregnant about that time, and we talked about it a little more. He actually made me cry (very emotional early pregnancy) when he said he didn't want me to just marry him because I was having his baby.

A few weeks later, near his birthday, he took me on a date and kept trying to get me to do stuff so he could propose. Like, he tried to get me to go into the jewelry store and look at rings because he wanted me to pick something out so that he could say 'something like this?'. He also tried to get me to pick out a new outfit and try it on so he could tell me that it would look amazing with one little accessory. I, apparently, ruin all of his surprises. Finally, when he was dropping me off for the night, he just pulled the ring out of his pocket and said he had been trying to propose all night but I wouldn't cooperate. He still fusses at me for changing things up when he's trying to do something special.

We wound up getting married in February, around Valentine's Day, because I wanted to do it before I started showing too much and I didn't know if we'd have time/money after our first child was born. We've been married 8 1/2 years now and love each other more every day. Rings are mandatory for us. Not because we force each other to wear them, but because it really feels strange not to. Particularly after you've had a piece of jewelry on your finger for 8+ years.
07/15/2010
BrokeNHorny BrokeNHorny
I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend as soon as we're both out of college. You have to wait for a time when it makes sense in your life. I'm a traditionalist, so I will be dropping to one knee with a ring, but I'll have to come up with something more elaborate before then.
07/15/2010
Alura Une Alura Une
Almost a year into our relationship, my significant other told me that he wanted to marry me after he graduated from high school. I wasn't so sure if it was a good idea since I was his first girlfriend (I don't think we had even gone "all the way" at that point!). I didn't want to marry anyone! He let it go. I graduated, then he did, a few years passed and we moved in together. I sort of regretted that phase I had gone through, but we really didn't feel there was a need to marry. A few more years passed, a few friends married and we thought about how it might be fun and practical, but there was no serious discussion of it. As I write this, we have been together for over 11 years. It's funny that we can talk about almost anything, but marriage conversations are a little awkward because they ended awkwardly early on. I don't know who will bring it up again, but one of us will. We would really be doing it for the "non-romantic" benefits of it. Our wedding would probably be more of an excuse to have a great, pretty party--there would be little ceremony. Would we do rings? Most likely not. I do a lot of creative work with my hands, I'd probably take it off and forget it or damage it. He'd probably look awkward with a ring. Though he's quite pretty! For us there is no need for the symbol. And I would keep my name unchanged.


In our eyes, everyone gets married too early in their relationships! But for those of you who take less than a decade to decide, I wish you the best!
07/16/2010
SexyySarah SexyySarah
Well, we knew about 2 weeks after we met and were married 3 months later, I know, sounds crazy, but we just knew don't know how else to explain it.
07/16/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
We dated for four years and then I decided to move in with him...may parents decided I was going straight to hell and disowned me but told me it would at least be better if we got married...so we did. Sound like a heartache in the making? It was. We've made it work for us but if we had it to do over again I think we'd have stayed unmarried for maybe a year or two longer and it would have brought about the changes we needed to make earlier and easier. We'd have still been together but it would have been happier we both think.
07/17/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyySarah
Well, we knew about 2 weeks after we met and were married 3 months later, I know, sounds crazy, but we just knew don't know how else to explain it.
I always wish there was a way to get a good explanation other than 'we just knew' because I'm always so curious and fascinated by the couples that do get married that fast and everything stays fantastic. Either way, congratulations
07/28/2010
sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
My husband and I were 1,000 miles apart. we finally got together and got married 2 and half years later! My husband surprised me with a poem on a cd he made me. Very sweet.
07/31/2010
...... ......
We had been together for 7 years, already had 1 child and were living together. And I already had 2 children from a previous marriage. He kept referring me as his wife when introducing me to people. Every time I would look at my ring finger and say, "I don't see a ring". One day he said I might as well be. Yeah that was the proposal. LOL!!! He's not the most romantic man but I forgive him for that. We've been married for almost 26 years now. After that we had 1 more child, which makes 4 all together, so we never really had a childless marriage.
07/31/2010
GNGenie GNGenie
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
When did you and your partner decide it was time to "take the plunge"? Was there something that held you back? Did your partner completely surprise you with it? Are rings mandatory or just traditional?
My partner is totally traditional in just about every sense of the word (just about, not all) so there were wedding plans almost from the beginning. It took us...oh...4-ish years to actually get around to it though: partially because of my age and partially because every time I think about being married (then and now) part of my brain just freaks and starts the "Oh god, my life is OVER. Nothing good or fun will happen ever again! I AM NOMINALLY OLDDDD!"
07/31/2010
Timaree Timaree
i knew on the second date this one was special and different and whether we married or not, was going to be a big deal.

by month two, i knew i would marry him and it would be awesome. there's all the practical, logical, we-make-sense-together stuff. we have all that. but we also just knew each other immediately, loved interacting in a way we didn't ever feel with anyone else and an attraction that overpowers everything.

it's been a year and half since then and nothing has changed in terms of my deep, loving, adoring crush: it's just gotten deeper and more loving and more committed. every day i'm reassured that i made the right decision to marry this man.
08/05/2010
Ciao. Ciao.
We're getting married on Saturday...actually!

We've been engaged for 3 years now. Mostly we just decided to wait until we were both finished up with college and all that, so that we could deal with wedding stuff post all of that, but we've been together at this point 7 1/2 years, and have lived together for a good bulk of that time. Our decision was more just a factor of legalizing what was already a serious committed relationship than finally realizing that we wanted to be together long term.
08/05/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
We're getting married on Saturday...actually!

We've been engaged for 3 years now. Mostly we just decided to wait until we were both finished up with college and all that, so that we could deal with wedding stuff post all of that, but ...
Congratulations to your and your beloved, Boink!
08/05/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
i knew on the second date this one was special and different and whether we married or not, was going to be a big deal.

by month two, i knew i would marry him and it would be awesome. there's all the practical, logical, ...
aww...
08/05/2010
...... ......
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
We're getting married on Saturday...actually!

We've been engaged for 3 years now. Mostly we just decided to wait until we were both finished up with college and all that, so that we could deal with wedding stuff post all of that, but ...
Congratulations!!! I hope Saturday is a wonderful day for you and your bride, and that you have many many years of happiness!!!
08/05/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
We're getting married on Saturday...actually!

We've been engaged for 3 years now. Mostly we just decided to wait until we were both finished up with college and all that, so that we could deal with wedding stuff post all of that, but ...
Congrats! Have a great day and I hope you have a wonderful marriage!
08/05/2010
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