The Talk's view on polyamorous relationships: Agree or disagree?

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The Talk's view on polyamorous relationships: Agree or disagree?

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Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
I don't watch "The Talk" or any show like it but my boyfriend's grandmother does (we live with her) and as I was passing by the television, it was on. They were talking about that movie with the woman and the two spies she's in a relationship with. This lead to the discussion of polyamorous relationships. Except, of course, they didn't use that word because they don't seem to know what the heck they were talking about.

Basically, the overall opinion was that polyamorous relationships don't work. One said that you simply cannot be in a relationship with more than one person, period (essentially) and another was that you CAN be in a relationship with more than one person (they really only seemed to mean two people) but you can't really be in love with either or at least both of them. The other opinions were variations and agreements of these.

Now, I'm not polyamorous myself. I don't think I, personally, could ever be in love with more than one person and I certainly couldn't let my significant other be like that. I'm jealous when it comes to my boyfriend (though it has to do with trust issues because of him mildly cheating in the not-too-far past), but I fully support others and the way they may have been born or their preferences and life choices. As such, I thought it was kind of ridiculous that "The Talk" would say these opinions when it seems like they did little to no research on REAL polyamorous relationships. I realize it's an "opinion" show and they're entitled to it but I just thought they should have actually done a little looking into the subject before they formed their opinions.
02/21/2012
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I believe they rarely research anything. It's all just them talking out their asses. I can't stand most female oriented programming so I've only caught it the few times my coworkers put it on in the break room. They never seem to know much about their topic of the day.

I see no issue with poly relationships. It would be my ideal situation to have both my husband and a serious girlfriend. Never quite been able to work that out. I do see that they would require a bit more work as keeping a group of three or more happy is harder than two since more people and those people's opinions, needs, and wants become involved.

I once knew (through a friend of mine) a poly trio. They had been together for over five or six years I believe. Most marriages between two people don't last that long these days. I think it's more dependent on the individuals than anything.
02/21/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Yeah, I don't watch those kinds of shows either, because I agree - I feel like they just say a lot of stupid stuff and it aggravates me. lol

While I'm not polyamorous, I know people can have happy poly relationships that last a long time. It's like saying homosexuality isn't real and can't work just because I'm not homosexual. It's a goofy point of view. Some people are asexual too, and while I'm not, I know that some people are, and live happy lives that way.
02/21/2012
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Yeah, I don't watch those kinds of shows either, because I agree - I feel like they just say a lot of stupid stuff and it aggravates me. lol

While I'm not polyamorous, I know people can have happy poly relationships that last a long ... more
Absolutely! My best friend in the whole world is asexual and she's perfectly content that way. Trust me. I know. We even went through a whole awkward "I might be a lesbian" phase together and it turned out that even with me, she simply wasn't interested in a romantic or sexual relationship (though I hear that lately she may be more open to the romantic side of it). So it's definitely possible.
02/21/2012
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I believe they rarely research anything. It's all just them talking out their asses. I can't stand most female oriented programming so I've only caught it the few times my coworkers put it on in the break room. They never seem to know ... more
"I believe they rarely research anything. It's all just them talking out their asses. I can't stand most female oriented programming so I've only caught it the few times my coworkers put it on in the break room. They never seem to know much about their topic of the day."

WORD.
02/21/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Nazaress
I don't watch "The Talk" or any show like it but my boyfriend's grandmother does (we live with her) and as I was passing by the television, it was on. They were talking about that movie with the woman and the two spies she's in ... more
Well I have been with my husband for 25 years and with my life partner for nearing 10 years. I know I love them both, I know they both love me, we three know that the guys care for each other deeply (albeit platonically). The problem is I can't PROVE that to anyone.
I can't prove that anyone who claims they only love one person and couldn't ever love another really DOES only love one person and can't love another...to me this is a foreign idea and rather frightening for various reasons, mostly related to life's nastier moments and death.
I would feel as though my life were irrepairably maimed if either of my guys were not in it. I think all happily monogamous couples can understand and agree with this sentiment.
I don't just love my guys but I am IN love with them and both my relationships are well past the whole 'honeymoon lust' period.

I cannot understand why people believe you cannot have a wonderful loving poly relationship, really I can't. I try to because like all the people so very interested in polyamory I am equally interested in how monogamy works so successfully for many people. I am curious too!
The thing is not all monogamous relationships last and are successful....in fact most aren't! Should I then judge that all of you who are happily monogamous are fools, self-deluded or simply not capable of having the relationship you say you have? How silly would that be? Obviously you are happy, you make it work and you choose everyday to love your partner as best you can...and be the best person you can be for them.

Honestly I don't know if I was 'born' to be poly...but I did make a choice to love my partners with all my heart, cherish the time I have with them and be the best person I can be for them. To share their dreams and desires and treat them as though they were as precious as my own and to demand the same in return. Sometimes in order to do this I have to simply ignore the nay sayers and totally deluded talk show hosts and just carve out my place in this world.

I have never had much respect for The Talk as they seem to preach those awful Cosmo articles that purport to tell you anything useful about your love life and partner....I mean honestly? You can keep your partner totally faithful by perfecting your blow job technique? Really? Just Blech...
02/22/2012
Contributor: Nazaress Nazaress
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Well I have been with my husband for 25 years and with my life partner for nearing 10 years. I know I love them both, I know they both love me, we three know that the guys care for each other deeply (albeit platonically). The problem is I can't ... more
Wonderful insight! Thank you! I totally agree with you. And bleh. They preach Cosmo? Now I KNOW I hate them. If perfecting blow jobs kept a man faithful, my boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on me three times (mildly, but regardless) despite the fact that I am the ONLY person who has EVER gotten him off from blowjobs. Cosmo is so, so stupid. I only know one person who blindly follows their ignorant tips and SURPRISE! She's never been in a relationship.
02/22/2012