The New Intimacy

Question about cooking...oddly enough

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Contributor: Essin' Em Essin' Em
Ok, it is high time that I ask for some advice instead of just dishing it out.

There is this woman I'm kinda sorta seeing. We've been on two dates (the second is when I broke my foot/split my tendon...it was a mini golf incident, and yes, she did go to the ER with me). She's been running hot and cold, and I just can't figure it out.

Here is my current situation. I invited her over to watch a movie and eat ice cream (we haven't had sex yet, but I figured this would be a good litmus test to see where this is going, if anywhere). She then suggested dinner. I was fine with this.

Until she suggested cooking together. Going grocery shopping to get ingredients, and then cooking together.

To me, cooking with someone is very sexy...a form of foreplay if you will. Feeding them as you cook, licking off of each other's fingers, a dash of flour on their nose...and heck, sometimes sex on the kitchen/counter or table.

Am I the odd woman out here? I don't think I've ever cooked for/with someone I was "dating" but not having sex with, and this seems a little hardcore for a third date when we haven't even had sex.

Or maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion. I guess I value food above most things...sex and sex toys excluded of course

-EE
08/17/2008
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Contributor: Oggins Oggins
Well, it sounds to me like it could possibly be a more intimate arraingment than going to an eating establishment.... I too have never cooked dinner with a parnter I wasn't having sex with so....maybe it's a proposition of sorts, I'm not sure. I would just suggest setting the mood and see what happens! =) Although, I guess it is possible she has a totally different view of cooking together but, I'm with you on this one! Good luck!
08/17/2008
Contributor: Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
I agree with Oggins. Cooking = very intimate. At least in my book. Maybe this is her way of taking it further? Best of luck!
08/17/2008
Contributor: Essin' Em Essin' Em
Or her way of doing the "I'm messed up. I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend. Let's be friends" thing. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks cooking is intimate!
08/19/2008
Contributor: Cock Wrangler Cock Wrangler
Quote:
Originally posted by Essin' Em
Or her way of doing the "I'm messed up. I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend. Let's be friends" thing. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks cooking is intimate!
Lame on her part.
But yes, cooking with someone in their own kitchen (which tend to be personal spaces anyway) is pretty up there. Definitely more open for opportunities, and not something I would do with someone I wasn't already friends with or comfortable enough with to fuck.
08/19/2008
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I wouldn't call cooking sexy necessarily. I do, however, see it as romantic - something that it about bonding but not sex. Maybe you two just want to further your relationship in different directions at this point.

But since this was some time ago, any news?
09/04/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I remember the first time I made my husband spaghetti... we're talking the spaghetti that sits in the crock pot for 8 hours. He stood over my shoulder curious as to how he could help (he's really kind of clueless in the kitchen), then he worked up the nerve and picked up a knife and stood beside me chopping. There was a lot of giggling as he fumbled around and as he cried when cutting the onion. Eventually, when everything was in the pot, he wrapped his arms around me as I stirred it... then we went off into the bedroom until dinner. It was a nice bonding experience for us, it brought us closer together in the early part of our relationship. But now after being married for 4 years it's like pulling teeth getting him to even try to cook on his own, heh.

I'm the type of person that associates food with sex... that would explain my love of sploshing . You just have to be very careful with what you make, anything that splashes and burns naked flesh is a no no, and anything you have to do somersaults to make is not worth cooking. Something with dough is sexy, kneading it together, getting flour all over your hands. Heck, you guys could even make cookies, nothing like melted chocolate on your skin.
09/04/2008
Contributor: His scarlett His scarlett
i agree that cooking for someone can and is a very intimate and romantic gesture - cooking together can lead to some interesting moments for sure

i wonder if this is (was as it was 2 weeks ago) her way of getting to know you better - there surely is no way to get to know someone better than to share some time cooking together - and it also has a potential for some 9 1/2 weeks moments too....

i hope it went well for you
09/04/2008
Contributor: Firemeup Firemeup
When I cook with my husband, it's sexy. If I cook with my mom, it isn't I actually find it to be a really good time to connect - you both have something to do with your hands that probably doesn't require your full attention, and you're in the same room for a while, so talking comes very easily.
02/02/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I love cooking with my fiance. It's relaxing and we have such great conversations because there's no email, no TV, no phone calls to be a distraction.
02/04/2009
Contributor: Harlequin Harlequin
hard to say.
12/12/2010
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I don't think cooking is that intimate, it's what you make of it. My first date with my boyfriend we cooked dinner together and it was just for fun, nothing expected from it, found out we're horrible in the kitchen together too. Now that we're in an established relationship it's just a bonding activity
12/03/2012