Introducing Some Weird Weird Kinks into the relationship

The New Intimacy

Introducing Some Weird Weird Kinks into the relationship

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Contributor: Madeira Madeira
So, my most major kinks are my partner controlling of my appearance in general, and my hairstyle in particular (craziness, I know), dollification play (where the dominant partner transforms the submissive temporarily into a doll, or treats them as a doll), makeovers and especially female forced feminization (I really enjoy the idea of starting out all butch and then being fucked into submission and made to act/look girly).

My girlfriend and I (we're a lesbian couple) are both very kinky, and we do a lot of kinky things in bed, but for me, the more intense the fetish the shier I am about mentioning it. I'd like to really clearly explain what I want, but not freak my girlfriend out. She knows peripherally that these are among my fetishes, but we've yet to try them mostly (appearance control a little) and she certainly doesn't know they're my biggest ones.

Basically, can any of you suggest a good way to A: broach and B: explain this without coming off as absolutely looney?

I mean I fantasize about going to the hair salon with her, and having her hand the stylist a photo without showing me, I fantasize about not being allowed to pick out my own clothes in the morning... I'm aware I'm odd, but I suppose I also wonder how freaked would any of you be by these?
09/20/2010
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
This seems like a more involved fantasy/fetish(?) than most. Have you tried looking for movies or books that have this as a general theme or plot twist? Check imdb maybe?
09/20/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
It sounds strongly like a Master/slave or Dom/Sub relationship. In a lot of D/S relationships the Dom or Domme chooses the clothing the Sub will wear, how he or she wears her hair, controls her appearance, forces orgasms, etc.

I don't think being in a lesbian relationship changes the dynamic of D/S that much.
09/20/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Perhaps you can give her subtle clues to your desires, like maybe some off-hand comments about going to the salon together, or leaving out fashion magazines and starting a conversation from there.

Or you can do the point-blank thing where you create a relaxed and open atmosphere where you both discuss your desires and see if they mesh. Best times to do it would be when she's in particularly good and/or open mood.

You don't have to lay it all out at once. It could be something you build to. Don't be afraid to admit that you're shy about this--sometimes this will encourage people to encourage you to open up more.

I'm by no means an expert, but I hope this helps.
09/20/2010
Contributor: Love Buzz Love Buzz
I must say I love JR's idea of watching a movie together that kind of brings up the subject, giving you an easy way to say 'what do you think of that?' or 'I think I might like to try that"

I get really shy when discussing my sexual fantasies & kinks with partners, Often I try to find a way to bring something into a conversation (as JR suggested with a movie) then later follow it up with some text messages to begin to explore it further. It can feel really scary trying to open that part of yourself, leaving yourself vulnerable but it's always been worth it in my experience.

Best of luck
09/21/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
Yeah, the movie thing is a really good idea. Hehe, maybe Vertigo, but I think Vertigo just makes the kink seem creepier.
09/21/2010