Bored with sex, and have run out of ideas...

Contributor: Gallowraven Gallowraven
the title says it all, well mostly. we have been together 5 years and just finally tied the knot 2 months ago. I know I should still be reeling from the wedding and honey moon, but we have already lived as a married couple so long nothing has changed except my last name. Ever since hubby gained a lot of weight, and has been un able to lose it, even his doctor has not been able to help him lose it. I have had to be on top, I have done every possible variation of girl on top sex, I have brought in toys and lingerie, we even bought a rather large and expensive piece of liberator black label furniture, with the cuffs. but no matter what, the sex is still the same, oh yea, we even tried a swingers' club. it was going okay, until we decided to start playing with a couple that felt the need to pressure us into a full swap too soon. that ended badly. I've talked with him about it, but until he loses the weight there is nothing that can be done I HAVE to be on top every time. I just don't know what to do any more. is there anyone with any advice?
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Contributor: sexymomma4 sexymomma4
If he's not losing the weight I'd suggest looking into thyroid issues. But you need to see an actual doctor that has a clue as many allopathic doctors don't have a clue on how to treat thyroid issue either. Usually homeopathic, natural doctors or if you can find an MD that works with homeopathic meds are much more helpful in this area.

I really understand. Its hard as my husband has to be on top for me. Not because of weight issues , but because of the fact my uterus has tipped from having children and anything other than a missionary position just hurts. I'd love to be able to make love in another position other than missionary.
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
First, I am not sure why your sex life is not fulfilling. Even if you can only have sex while on top, that does not necessarily mean that you can't be fulfilled. Is one or both of you unable to climax while you are on top? You mentioned toys, sex furniture and bondage being introduced as well. Again were one or both of you unable to climax?

If you look into possible physical issues for the weight gain and come up empty, then it may be something that happened to him emotionally. Was there something like a job loss, death of a family member, change in the family dynamics that happened when he started gaining the weight?

Often people who are depressed gain weight and have trouble losing it. I am sure he feels bad that it has effected your sex life, so he may eat to feel better, causing him to not lose weight so he feels bad, then the cycle starts over. If this is the case then perhaps his getting counseling and medication for depression may help.

I found that building up your partner is very helpful in having them improve their emotional state, feel more sexy and then want sex more. Not being fake but taking the time to show appreciation, desire and love. Reassurance that you are loved can go a long way.

It takes a very special couple to be successful at swinging. If he is having some emotional issues related to his weight, this would be not be the ideal time to start off in that lifestyle.