How have kids affected your marriage?

How have kids affected your marriage?

MamaDivine MamaDivine
Just wondering (for those of you with children-your own/adopted or even step/half etc).....How have children affected your marriage? for the good, the bad and the ugly
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
There has been no change
Affected us BIG TIME-Positively
3
Affected us BIG TIME-Negatively
1
It has affected some aspects of our marriage-nothing we can't handle
10
Just our sex life
1
Our social life
3
How we think/act/see things/life in general
4
Other/Comment Below
1
Total votes: 23 (10 voters)
Poll is closed
04/11/2012
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Save 70%. Limited Quantity
  • Sexy Treats For Her! Gorgeous Gift Set For $60
  • Save 50% on Selected Items
  • Spoil Him! Luxury Gift Set for Men For $60
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Annemarie Annemarie
Don't have kids but am very curious how the poll goes. My significant other and I are planning on having children in the next year or two, and I'm concerned that it will affect us.
04/11/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
Don't have kids but am very curious how the poll goes. My significant other and I are planning on having children in the next year or two, and I'm concerned that it will affect us.
I am a mother of three. It definitely affects things in a big way (for us anyways). When my husband and I met, I had two children from a previous marriage. We were very sexually active and spent a lot of time cuddling together. After baby girl was born, needless to say that somewhat stopped. Not because we didn't want to or had no attraction to each other, but you are tired more and with the baby constantly needing attention or tending to, you'll be up and down a lot. Also, if you plan on breastfeeding the baby, that will take a lot of your time and personal space. However, there are a Lot of ways to combat this. It just means more work on the relationship and trying to pin point when and where there are any issues that are lacking. Just remember that children are a blessing and that they will teach YOU everyday something new. Im almost 30, with three kids and I learn more and more from them everyday. They definitely keep me in line lol. Its wonderful watching them learn and grow, just make sure to pay attention to your relationship too, so that it doesn't go sour. Being bitter towards a spouse because of baby taking up that time, can definitely cause issues and you don't want that.
04/12/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
I am a mother of three. It definitely affects things in a big way (for us anyways). When my husband and I met, I had two children from a previous marriage. We were very sexually active and spent a lot of time cuddling together. After baby girl was ...
I should probably add that my older two children lived with their dad at the time that I met my (now) husband. So we had a lot of "alone time".
04/12/2012
Peaches2000 Peaches2000
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Just wondering (for those of you with children-your own/adopted or even step/half etc).....How have children affected your marriage? for the good, the bad and the ugly
I have five children all under the age of 9. Being completely honest, they have been our greatest blessing. My husband and I completely compliment each other's parenting styles and have a lot of fun along the way.
04/13/2012
married with children married with children
they take some of your free time you used to be able to spend on yourself, and put it in time you spend with them. Plus you cant have sex when ever you want to like you could before.
04/14/2012
Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
They definitely affect our lives but are so worth it!
04/20/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
As you said, kids do effect your relationship. But, we decided to enjoy the time when they were small, knowing it would be a short time. It doesn't feel like it will be when you haven't slept more than 30 minutes at a time in weeks, your nipples are sore, you haven't had sex in almost a week, and that was a quickie and you were listening for the baby the entire time, or your preschooler walked in in the middle and just started talking, not even realizing until, "Why is Papa lying on top of you, Mama?" OMG.

Our kids are older now, two that are technically adults (we started having babies when I was fairly young, and we were only married about 5 months when we had our first child) and our youngest is 12. No more babies for us. Now, we reminisce and forget the hard times and only remember the funny stuff.

I am glad we chose to have children. Not everyone wants them, and it should be that way. Everyone has a different life and things they want from life, kids don't fit into everyone's lives. But, we wanted them, and I'm glad we had them. Sometimes I wish we had had more, but when we see the price of college, braces, health care and what little time sometimes have for each other when they were young, I think 3 worked out the best for us.

I love our babies. Even though nobody but the two of us still thinks they are babies. My oldest just called me a few minutes ago; she and her partner live out of state, and it's always good to talk to her. We also just discovered Skyping, so we keep in touch. The other two still live with us (middle one is in Grad School and can't afford to live on her own) so we'll just take our life as it comes right now.
04/20/2012
Beck Beck
Children do change your life. It's how you handle it that effects how they change it. Sure you can't have mid day sex because your children are awake, but you can have sex later in the day just fine or during nap time. They are exhausting, but life is in general. I have two small children (3 and 1) and we are working on conceiving our third. Children are wonderful. Take the time to enjoy them and watch them grow. It's a wonderful experience, but understandably an experience that isn't for everyone.

They really haven't changed anything for us except for putting us more on a schedule for anything we want to do. And packing the car more for traveling around.
04/20/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Just wondering (for those of you with children-your own/adopted or even step/half etc).....How have children affected your marriage? for the good, the bad and the ugly
I checked nearly every box - because I am being honest. It has affected us big time, positively and negatively, but we can handle it. It has affected how we see things, how we think, our sex life, AND our social life. But we love them, and are debating a third in the next year or so, so obviously we'd do it all over again.
04/21/2012
Peaches2000 Peaches2000
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
As you said, kids do effect your relationship. But, we decided to enjoy the time when they were small, knowing it would be a short time. It doesn't feel like it will be when you haven't slept more than 30 minutes at a time in weeks, your ...
Great post P'Gell! I loved reading about your current relationships with your kiddos! It sure reminds me to stop worrying about the little things and start focusing on the here and now moments.
04/21/2012
Peaches2000 Peaches2000
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Children do change your life. It's how you handle it that effects how they change it. Sure you can't have mid day sex because your children are awake, but you can have sex later in the day just fine or during nap time. They are exhausting, ...
People always ask "How do you manage 5?"

I agree with you Beck, its about managing the schedule and add 20 minutes of prep time for each kid. Best of luck getting number three started
04/21/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
When we met, I had a 3 year old and a 14 month old...we've never been "us" without children there other than when we first started dating. It was a huge change when we moved in together, but figure it out. It wasn't until we had a child of our own that things really changed. We didn't have our weekends kid free any longer and there wasn't as much time for "us". We still have sex often, but social stuff is harder, it's harder to go on dates and stuff, but that's it.
04/24/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 9