Seperate Bedrooms

Seperate Bedrooms

HannahPanda HannahPanda
I went over to a friend's house recently, whose parents are married but sleep in separate bedrooms. Perhaps they just didn't want to go through the mess of a divorce, but I don't see the point in being married to someone you can't even stand to sleep next to. What are your opinions, Edenites? When it gets to that point in a marriage, should you just get a divorce?
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Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
There are many reasons why a couple might sleep apart and/or not have sex together, so I'd have to say no it's not automatically a sign that they need a divorce. If they're happy with the situation, more power to them.
Chirple Chirple
Actually, in some cases this can be a good solution for a couple who does want to stay together !

They can pick one or both bedrooms (or another / any other) room as a sexual playspace.

But when it comes to sleeping, it might be differences in schedule, preferences for mattresses, a medical condition, snoring, kicking, et cetera.

Some people just sleep better apart. They'll be more comfortable, better rested, and can therefore enjoy their time awake with each other that much more than if they'd annoyed each other all night with petty habits.
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
If we could have a separate bedroom - I probably would. Both of us snore very badly sometimes and we can keep each other up if we don't time things right as far as falling asleep.

I know of another couple where the husband not only snores but tosses and turns (they're in their 70s) so she often sleeps in the den if she can't fall asleep with him.
Ghost Ghost
I personally don't feel that just because you want a separate bedroom, you need a divorce. For me personally, I NEED personal space. I get irritable and angry if I don't get alone time, and it's very difficult for me to sleep around other people. I would prefer to have my own room where I could go to be alone and sleep alone if that's what I needed.
AndroAngel AndroAngel
My lover and I have already decided that when we get our house, we need two separate bedrooms. We'll have one that we use together when we feel like it, and one to retreat to when we need alone time. We love each other enough that we don't have to be together all the time, we are two separate people after all, and there are bound to be times when we want to sleep alone.

Not to mention Chirple's excellent post, which pretty much explains it.
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Before I moved down to the city my girlfriend lives in, we had hoped to be able to live in her house together. Her mom was supposed to have moved out, so we would have had a 3 bedroom house to ourselves. We had planned to have the master bedroom for us. Then her old bedroom would be my crafting room, and the front bedroom would be the guest room. And the garage would be converted into her man cave. It was going to be our solution to having space in our house. Because both of us are kind of headstrong sometimes, so we need our space sometimes, haha.

It didn't work out that way, but maybe six months down the road when we can get a place together (currently not living together) we can find a good 2-bedroom apartment so we can still have our space, and out together time.

I think it is a little weird for a couple to not sleep together, but I do know that sometimes my gf would get up and sleep on the couch in the middle of the night because of my snoring... SOOOO.
Tuesday Tuesday
Confession: My husband and I sleep in separate bedrooms. My husband snores and we don't go to bed at the same time and he gets up several times/night, plus I'm a very light sleeper.

I think it's a much more common practice than you think. My sister in law commented that although she has a big house, she needs more separate sleeping areas than you would expect when people sleep over because so many couples ask to sleep separately.

Also, I read a study that showed that people sleep best alone once they're used to it. If you're used to sleeping with someone else, it may not seem that way, but I believe it's true.
Kendrir Kendrir
Yeah, I think there's likely a ton of decent reasons that a couple that's not on the train to Divorceville would sleep in separate rooms. When my wife isn't sleeping in our room, it's usually because she's on the couch in the living room where she keeps it about 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the house and says the couch is a lot comfier than our mattress (she's not kidding, either)
Dusk Dusk
As someone who often had trouble sleeping with my SO when we lived together, I could see that actually helping certain couples. We fixed our issue by buying a king bed, but that isn't an option for everyone. Some couples have to get up at very different hours for work, as well.
married with children married with children
my sister and her husband sleep in different rooms, on different floors. Not sure why. I could not be in a marriage like that.
voenne voenne
It does not necessarily mean they are unhappy, but it is possible. Living with someone that long with that many stressors after having kids can be straining. It might help them deal better.

But even in a good relationship, sometimes couples sleep separately because of their schedules and it just takes stress off of their relationship getting peaceful sleep alone.

I know I like sleeping alone, and hope my future SO understands when I need to do so.
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
My parents often sleep apart because of snoring.

I have known a couple who slept apart because the husband had an issue with night terrors. He would wake up screaming and jumping on the bed. And then he'd just lay back down and fall asleep as if nothing had happened. No recollection the morning after. I can't imagine how sleeping in the same room would work.
Missmarc Missmarc
There can be many reasons why people wish to sleep in separate bedrooms, even if only occasionally. Snoring, contagious skin diseases, giving each other some space, stress/insomnia and tossing and turning...and a lot more reasons.
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